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for Life under Construction

6/13/2015 c1 Raven Roth
I love it but when is the 2 part going to happen and will Atlanta meet/reunited with ariel ?
12/18/2013 c1 URMYFAVE
This is actually so good
10/6/2013 c1 1Absolute Honesty
You need to edit this; there's walls of text (illegible and not), and it ends in the middle of a sentence. I will reserve my criticism of this fic when you have edited it further.
10/5/2013 c1 52HoneyGoddess57
Now, how to say this I think this is such a good idea; it's nice to see how Ariel isn't really dead. That she watches her older sister but! There's something I don't get it: how come Ariel is a "demi-god" as you put this in. I mean, what's the meaning of this? This is something that I really don't get it... ALSO! You made "word blocks" as I can put this in. Like by example there's this one:

"So, Neil, what's the early visit to Aphrodite?" the model pulled out his ever-present mirror and gave himself a quick look-over before replacing it in his pocket to look at the brunet.

Okay, so who's talking in there? Really, there's some readers that will be confused. You put too much "block words" in there it's so hard to read- like I've previously said about the "block words". You really could break this up. What it bothers me too is why are there nonsense writing before the story continues? Why does this chapter ends with "Odie and Herry in the"- what's up with that? That confuses me to no end! Could you please write a full sentence instead of a sentence that isn't completed?

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