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9/11/2003 c13 36MikoNoNyte
Margarete is really a fly by the seat kinda girl, isn't she? How ever did she get to be such a good spy! I liked the descriptions used between her and Itakura: the indecision of will she/won't she. And following both of their thought processes. A little dizzying, but that's just me.

"... I think I have him pretty much under control.’ ‘That isn’t a great comfort coming from you.’ He-he-he; Margarete's reputation with the old man isn't getting any better either!

In the bar, Itakura's observations are pretty impressive; the guy has no idea, beyond the briefing, who or what these people are. Yet he manages to learn a great deal from observation, and even gains a grudging respect for Alice (?); distrusts Yuri (!) and, in general, manage to dig himself a nice little hole. "...He finds something about her naive, innocent air irresistibly mesmerising."

The the ultimate understatement: "This isn’t as simple as it looked . . ."

Really interesting little chapter. ::boots Greyfriar's brother in the butt for tossing pillow in house:: *thinks about it further* ::bops Greyfriar's brother on the head for being a boy in the first place!:: I look forward to your next foray (whenever that will be).


PS: sorry about the late review. I wrote this up and neglected to send. Shame on me!
8/17/2003 c13 aegis
I gave you ideas? Well, at least I'm being somewhat helpful...

I was wondering: towards the end of the chapter, Itakura notices that Yuri has several bruises on his face. What are the bruises from? The fight with Wugui?
8/17/2003 c13 leels
NO, bacon is WEIRDYER! he is like a million years old and wears a silly random hat!

OH my god! itakura SO fancys ALICE!

But- does alice fancy him? NO! cos she fancys YURI! this is eastenders! lol!

OH, and by the way, what is with your webby? 'tis blue. i mean BLUE. it's meant to be black, its nemeton for godsake! but no. you have made it blue.

and also WHAT was alec talking about? GHOST TOURS? is your brain on holdiday?
7/8/2003 c12 gutterfiend
Interesting chapter title. I was wondering how they were going to get to Wuhan without Kawashima to point them in the right direction, but I guess Zhuzhen would know that's where Xifa was hiding anyway. I know several people have said this already, but I loved the scene between Alice and Yuri with Margarete evesdropping. The hug was just so Yuri-ish.
7/5/2003 c12 vodevil aka leels whos been playing mariyln manson all morning
dave's posessed hair. . .. lemme guess. . . you just wanted to use that for the song title, no? lol.

wha? miss mam doesn't trust. . . anything. . . i'm confuzzed. who trusts what? no one trusts anything. ever.

death empreror is bein kinda eehevil to yuri. that's a SHAME. cos death emperor is hot. O_O no really. he IS. but then, you fancy roger bacon so that's even wyerder.

i KNEW you were screwd up in the head, and you still are by the sound of THAT author note. ::sighs and shkaes head::
7/3/2003 c12 kimgrasshopper
I had not caught the first time, the ending of chapter 4; Yuri isn't in control when DE shows up. Now that's an interesting twist to the fusion idea. Like: he can have the power, he can use the power, but the power (DE in this case) can also use him. Oh, the possibilities for this one! And with his temporary insanity, hitting Alice ... he hasn't a clue what he did - Greyfriars, that is Classic! *shaking head* Got to feel sorry for the kid. He's in so far he'll never see daylight.

Margarete's thoughts Re: Yuri, trust, her own trust ... SCARY! You caught her so well. She speaks that way when she's obfuscating. Funny that she would think that way too. *shudder*

Back at the hotel, Yuri and Alice together, "stock phrases such as 'I'm sorry' and 'never again'" ... then his quick, nervous hug of Alice while Alice withdraws were handled great. One gets the impression if Alice asked Yuri to kiss her shoes or lick the floor he probably would just to make peace.

And now everyone is off to Wuhan *sigh*. I am not even going to speculate to myself where you're going with this. The anticipation is pure pain. And a little pain is always good for the soul.

Good job, Greyfriars.

7/3/2003 c12 70ariescelestial
Aww...Now I feel sorry for Yuri. I was kind of surprised that he even tried hugging Alice-she hasn't been comfortable about that kind of thing, she's going to be comfortable *now*?-but I still felt sorry for him when she pulled back. Poor idiot.

Yuri: ...

And I'm wondering how Zhuzhen and Alice feel about him now. And Itakura's (that right?) got a tough job...poor soldier.

And Margarete, well...it sounds from her viewpoint that the group's hanging together by a thread. ^^ ::gets scissors:: Snip snip.

Yuri: O.O
6/16/2003 c11 kimgrasshopper
Okay, I’ve read and read this now 3 times. I guess the 3rd time is the charm. I had a little trouble with the AU version at first, unsure where you were going with it. But going back and re-reading from 1 - 11 helped tremendously.

Margarete has some definite problems with this storyline, doesn’t she? And now that she’s decided which horse she’s going to ride on (a definite Americanism) she believes that everything will work out. Familiar state of denial, hehehe. She’s a brave woman though, confronting Yuri on the docks; she does know this guy fuses, right? She’s seen him do it in Fengtian at the very least. So she’s either very brave or totally idiotic. I choose brave. She’s gonna need that with Itakura showing up right now.

I like the introspective mode you used with Itakura. We know nothing about this guy other than his name, but you’ve filled in blanks enough, given enough meat to the bone that whatever happens to the poor guy we’ll have some feeling for him. Do I like him? Nah, but you just know he’s fodder for the mill. Like in the old Star Treks: red shirts got it first. Hehehe.

Weirdest chapter: Margarete’s dream. I didn’t get it the first time. However after the re-read, I had one thought: *shudder* “thank god no shuggoths”. Scariest things in the world from HP Lovecraft and Clark Ashton Smith. Trust me. Nightmares to die for.

Please continue this when you can. I won’t threaten you if you don’t since I know you’re busy with other things, but I can harass the living daylights out of you at SH/Yahoo or Neoseeker. Hahaha.

6/9/2003 c11 leels who cannot even b bothered wit famous now
well are YOU allright in tha heid? that autor note was classic "u with a screwed up head". yep and which english teacher was that cos i dun know, i been away too long now.
6/9/2003 c4 leels tha famous person who cannot b bothered spellin necrophiliac

okay. . . .

omigodz, you used big old nostalgic song. . ... i remember last time i heard this an it was AGES ago must have been about two years exactly and ::sob:: nostalgiac!
6/8/2003 c11 aegis
Darn it...the chapter was too short...and we had that army guy a lot.

Yuri: He does have a name.

I don't care. ::mutters::

Yuri: ::rolls eyes:: She wanted more of me. Go figure.

He he, Yuri torture...
5/15/2003 c10 gutterfiend
Gah! What the...? Yuri's got some apologizing to do when he gets back. I hope Alice gives him what for!
5/14/2003 c10 12Nights Mistress
Hey, nice chapter - probably cause Alice got thwapped. (what can I say, Alice annoys the hell out of me)

Anyway, I was wondering, if I were to write a humour fic for Shadow Hearts, would you be a beta reader? I actually started by writing humour, in case you're wondering, and Yuri was actually an experiment to see if I could write straight. The answer is yes, but my humour ones are better.

And the Ben/Zhuzhen idea? Leave it with me, I have a relative visit coming up (one week in hicksville which hasn't even got the internet yet - yuck) and I'll have nothing else to do
5/14/2003 c10 aegis
Ah! Yuri, you stupid idiot! Why'd you have to go and hit Alice! You weren't supposed to hit Alice! ::glares::

Yuri: but...!


Yuri: ::sweatdrop:: But this was your idea in the first place! C'mon!

(very sweetly) Oh, Regina! Yuri wants to see you...

Yuri: Oh crap. ::looks for places to hide:: Too late...

Regina: Yuri! ::tackles:: ::binds with rope:: ::drags upstairs:: Ohohohoho!
5/9/2003 c9 Nights Mistress
So, what did happen in Broken Mirrors? Was I right? Was there going to be a huge "journey of discovery" for Alice? Damnit, just email me the plot line! I wanna know!

Ben Hyuga/Zhuzhen. Now there's a possibility...
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