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for The girl with teal hair

5/1/2014 c10 25TheMadnessWithin13
GAH!I love your story so much and I love Kyro and wally's relationship, my favorite chapter is the end of chapter six :) keep up the good work!
4/22/2014 c10 2girlrobin99
Please please please please please please please please go back to this story! If I had found this sooner I would freak in praised you with awesome comments I love this please do more of it
2/27/2014 c10 2animegal1357
I will do anything to help... plz redo it fast... can't wait, btw u r not sucky
2/25/2014 c9 4Arcadia Sterling
Your character, Kyro, is what the cynical and disillusioned would call a "Black Hole Sue". It's a form of Mary Sue where the entire fictional universe bends around her and every problem is solved just because she exists. Without the existence of the Black Hole Sue, the story would literally have no plot. The Black Hole Sue becomes the plot.

Kyro is an example of the Black Hole Sue. The plot didn't start until she walked in and it wouldn't go anywhere if she didn't exist. The YJ characters have been reduced to bland, discolored satellites trapped in her gravity well. There was nothing going on prior to her arrival and still nothing plot-worthy is happening. In seven chapters, the Team hasn't gone on a single mission. There hasn't been one calamity that could end the civilization as we know it. The Light isn't cooking up evil plans in the background. The Team isn't even doing their own thing. They're all so busy mooning over Kyro that they completely forgot they had lives outside of Kyro's mere's existence. They're OBSESSED with her and there's absolutely no logical reason for that.

Kyro's even worse. Her only purpose so far has been to become Wally's girlfriend while fending off the unwanted advances of Klarion. Advances that, I might add, she doesn't even know about because Klarion hasn't made a single move to get what he's been after. What happened to her powers? You brought Fire in for like two paragraphs and then she was gone and any further mention of her powers (fire and superspeed) is barely touched. Kyro has no meaningful character arc. In seven chapters, she hasn't developed as a character. Not even remotely. She's still exactly the same character in chapter 7 as she was in chapter 1. You've tied her up in a very restrictive role that allows no room for natural growth or development. Worse yet, you've done the same for the Team. They're reduced to static characters, hollow shells of their former selves. Seven well-defined and complex characters hacked down to their most basic personality traits and left to rot.

That's no way to write a story.

Also, possessive love is not romantic. It's effin' creepy. Kyro's allowed to date whoever the eff she wants and Wally can't do sh-it-all about it. Epic fail on the romance.

Lastly, was there something wrong with the name "Kyra"? "Kyro" is not any name I'm familiar with.
2/24/2014 c9 10Anime hotty lover.18
Yeah! I've been waiting for this chapter
2/24/2014 c9 2animegal1357
Plz continue
2/18/2014 c8 animegal1357
Plz continue
1/30/2014 c7 animegal1357
plz at least try
12/27/2013 c7 10Anime hotty lover.18
Oh my
11/6/2013 c4 Anime hotty lover.18
...no I want more...x(...x3
11/6/2013 c2 Anime hotty lover.18
...cute
10/31/2013 c3 3Snowdevil The Awesome
YEAH CREEPY KLARION! UPDATE!
10/16/2013 c2 Snowdevil The Awesome
You are so AWESOME! If you need help just PM me!1
10/11/2013 c1 13SnowWolf22
Not bad I like it so far c:
10/11/2013 c1 3Snowdevil The Awesome
YES! YOU. ARE. AWESOME! UPDATE NOW! I really like this idea!

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