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for Paying in Blood

9/2/2015 c4 Guest
I know this is old, but please continue!
9/2/2014 c4 BlackBolts
2 Years sure is a long while. Given my reviews, I'd entitle myself to know the feeling...

Despite my absence, and despite me leaving the fandoms of which people around here are accused to, I felt the need to revisit this place. It gave me some fond memories, however basic or short lived they may be. Abilities, too. I've become a bit of a writer, but yet, once again, not for anything of this nature. If I had to give credit to something for my development, ever if it's not really a good idea to mention things like this; This very small niche community here did teach me things. But anyways, I should actually review something, for old time's sake.

Just as I remembered. Many stories here morphing similar ideas, creating a unique combination, a product different to everyone who attempts, and this story is not different in my mind. Though... Predictable, maybe even edgy, it has potential. It's a common idea; the friend dies, action must be taken. So many people make this kind of story, both in film, literature. Hell, maybe even art! We only know as much as we dare to explore.

The concept of Leo dying. A decently interesting one at that. Pretty sure some fics on this old page have had similar ideas, or at least, a relation to it. Aborted From Time, was an example, if my memory serves me, but I can't be sure. But anyways, I do feel as if I should critique certain events that have happened, thus far. For one, these new characters. You listed someodd 5 characters who apparently were all in a close-knit group of friends with Aeris and Leo. I feel as if some sort of detail should be put into them at a later date. Maybe Aeris and Eli don't continue this crusade on a constant pace, but instead take a break, where Aeris meets up with her friends to which the describe her obvious difference in personality and stature? Just an idea.

As for Eli, well, hes definitely a kind of character I'd call Edgy. Mysterious, appears without question nor warning, having a plot-progressing detail pre-packaged with him. I mean, it ain't bad, and it doesn't hurt the story too much, but detail can be put into these kinds of things. Detail is always nice. And along with his "Doctor" friend, Yates... Given he seems to be a "mentioned side character", I actually don't see a problem with him. Hes actually a bit interesting, but maybe a bit TOO much of a "Jack of all trades". Maybe I'm just not seeing his character correctly. Maybe hes older, more experienced than I imagine.

Speaking of not seeing something... Erm... ethically? Even if Aeris, in this story, has firearm training, I doubt she'd be ready to kill what I assume is more than a dozen guys, and torch down a building, in the matter of, what, 2 days? I can deal with this kind of story progression, but some sort of side detail about, I don't know... Her possible remorse for ending so many lives in an instant? I realize the development of the story entitles her to become even more of what some see her as, Heartless, but still, things can have backing.

But besides those points, I like the story. I can't promise I'll review any more of it. Hell, I can't promise I'll read the rest of it. This place is as I thought it had became; slow moving. Maybe people left, maybe people lost their enthusiasm. I know I did, but I felt like this story deserved me making a review for old times sake. Especially since we've talked personally, Matt. I'd only wish that I'd be able to talk to some of the other old authors, like Ice or Minty. But hey, maybe it's for the best that I be sure to make as little contact as possible to these old communities. I moved past them for a reason, but I still liked the people I interacted with.

If you plan to finish this, please do. It's a story with an author worthy of completing it.
8/15/2014 c4 Random
Another great chapter. Keep up the good work.
7/6/2014 c3 Random
I couldn't help but notice you type Leo instead of Eli... Accident or on purpose doesn't matter because it was a great chapter.
5/6/2014 c2 2Valmariel
This is a gloomy and vengeful story, but if this is a dramatic romance instead of tragedy...

Anyway, this is a really good read and I can't wait for more!
4/7/2014 c1 14The Bonecrusher Hyena
Awesome start! I wanna see more :3
10/30/2013 c1 2Foot Pains
Just got back on to check on a few stories and about pooped a brick when I saw this! I like how you added y
10/21/2013 c1 1Twenty12
Makes for a dark story alright. I like the add of your style to this story, it is flattering to the grim atmosphere. Make some more.
10/15/2013 c1 8Phemon13
Interesting, interesting. Sadly I'm thinking of nothing but plot twists right now! And I'm guessing "Terrier" is actually a terrier (of the dog variety)?
Cool start anyway!

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