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8/12/2010 c4 5Sapcoat
Good job! Few suggestions, though. Number uno~ Slow down! Add more detail! It felt like it was going 100 mph! Number two~ Nah, that's pretty much it. Johnny was OOC but, *shrugs* it's your story and I enjoyed it. Make a sequel, don't, I don't care, really. Your choice. ^^
7/24/2010 c4 25Bee-Knee
I think Jasper was the reason I liked this story so much.
8/28/2008 c4 11Zombiecatfire13
this was really good, and kinda sad. aww, I like that snake! :3
12/23/2004 c4 25the Raven of Roses
Alright. I'd like to start off with a few suggestions, if it doesn't sound too harsh. Work on the spelling, and SLOW DOWN. You have remarkable skill, but it's something we all need to work on. Never feel rushed to submit more stuff. Just write on your own time and make it the best it can possibly be.

Other than that, it was lovely. Work on the spelling and slow down, but DEFINITELY keep writing. I'm looking forward to more of your work. This is Raven, your Friendly Homicidal Neptunian, signing off.

11/27/2002 c4 22ChibiMizu
MAKE A SEQUEL! YEEEAS! That was soo coolness! Damn I'm a fast reader... BUT that was great! ^_^ sequel yep yep
9/29/2002 c4 squee779slabor
sequel! sequel! i love this story! please write more. must know how many siblings nny has!
9/29/2002 c4 noodletwin

serously though, its very well done, and quite the intresting plot twist. I think you should have made it a bit longer though, its a very very short story
9/27/2002 c4 GoldLion.BlackPanther
Aww, so sad. v.v. there needs to be a sequel! that'd be great, I must know what he does! great story though!
9/27/2002 c4 Julie the homicidal maniacstill too dang lazy ta sign in
*sniff* she go bai-bai... AH WELL! SEQUAL SEQUAL SEQUAL!
9/27/2002 c4 Rickchick
A sequel would be wonderful! By the way i love the story. LOVE, Rickchick
9/27/2002 c4 1Phantom Panda
Yes...A sequel...there sequel...good job, I want to meet the rest of his family.
9/26/2002 c1 Guest
That was a great story. You should definately write a sequel.
9/26/2002 c4 K.S.Riddle
I loove this! This is cute! Write the sequels! I know there's going to be a sequel! I KNOW IT
9/26/2002 c4 s.c.fowlie
That was the coolness! Will you make a sequel?
9/26/2002 c4 5JohnnyLover
hmm... this story was okay. I mean, it was a very origional story and everything, but I believe it could have been done better. It seemed a little too jumpy, like you rushed it out all on to paper, and forgot to make it more detailed and drawn out. Plus, remember, after each quote there needs to be a new paragraph. I did like the story, it was, as I said, origional. You have a very good idea going. Just try to improve upon it a little, okay? Keep up the work^^
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