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4/5/2014 c7 2Hektols
Well, this time the secret about Naruto being the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki is actually a secret, there shouldn't be any problem with that issue.
2/28/2014 c3 Aire5
2/28/2014 c6 Hektols
Sarutobi will get a great surprise when he will meet Naruto, specially after finding out that he has been in Fire Country all time.
2/28/2014 c6 RanadeeraUzumaki
very good build up. and a nice chap. but my only suggestion is increase the length of the chapters.
2/23/2014 c5 Hektols
Very promising fic. The plot is really original and avoids the overused and stupid fanfiction cliches, the parts where Naruto remembers about his mother are really touching. The only incoherent thing I find is that Konoha didn't make any contact with Naruto or his mother, he is the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki, a key part in the power balance among ninja villages.

Can't wait to see what happens next.
2/20/2014 c5 Guest
nice story but this chap feels like a filler.. good work
1/5/2014 c3 1Jinsokuichi
The grammatical errors are taking away from your story, especially the continued use of "u" instead of "you". You need to watch that. Also, your punctuation marks, you need to look at that too because sometimes its difficult to discern what you are trying to convey.
12/30/2013 c4 RanadeeraUzumaki
Very nice chap felt it went went at a reasonable pace. So nice build up for future. can u tel the pairings of the fic.
12/29/2013 c1 Guest
The plot is very good but as u need to down the plot and improve ur grammar a bit.
12/26/2013 c3 unknown
this is very sad but it has a great plot so far.
12/26/2013 c1 Lacertosus
Liked the chapter, i can see a lot of potential for this and it makes me excited, as others have already said you do need to slow down the story line a bit, you introduced Naruto mother and killed her off in a couple of paragraphs.

A couple of questions,
1. Is this Naruto birth mother or has he been adopted,
2. what actually caused her to die?
3. how old is naruto in this fic?
12/26/2013 c3 RanadeeraUzumaki
Good Chapter But Still u need to slow down with the plot..
11/6/2013 c2 RanadeeraUzumaki
good chapter and i bit good improvement i your writing.. just try and increase the deatils of the story.
11/2/2013 c2 Jinsokuichi
It was intriguing, but I became a bit lost about the setting, but thats not much of a huge issue, you should also slow down the pace a bit, you moved a bit to fast with this chapter. Try describing and explaining a bit more stuff like surroundings and setting. That helps the readers form a picture in their mind about where they are in your fic.
10/30/2013 c1 Jinsokuichi
This is pretty good. You definitely know how to put your thoughts together and come out with a plot or the beginning of one that would make me interested in seeing what happens next. However, that last paragraph, was a text wall and you should avoid those as much as possible, Im not saying you should remove text, but spread them out. Put individual person's dialogues separate from narration and do not put person A's dialogue with person B's If you find your paragraph is getting too long, then you can simply create a new one where it seems there was a small pause in trend. I dont know if you reread the chapter before you posted it, but a friend of mine gave me some advice for editing your own work. Wait a few days then read it over. You are more likely to spot your errors.
Otherwise, keep it up, im looking forward to seeing what happens next
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