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for Whispering Smoke

10/30/2015 c1 Zendaya
hi tris i just read your profile...i don't think you should stop writing on here your really good and u should become an author...i kinda figured that was what u wanted (or am i just being dumb and imagining stuff :P) who cares if you started this when u were younger! thats all the more reason you should carry on and show people that you have improved, i love reading your stories. and i agree that some maybe a bit trashy but ur an awesome writer and u should prove to people/ the world how awesome u are. Tris id love to c u back on here writing. Im not sure u'll even read this but if u do: 1. i know my grammatical typing skills suck and 2. i know one review may not be enough to change your mind ...but i think u have talent...and i mean major talent girl! u gotta keep writing and become a fucking damn good author.
Id love to here your reply u can email if u want at 3 ya
3/26/2015 c1 4YouCanCallMeHarley
I read this and I thought damn whoever wrote this is super talented I love it
2/23/2014 c1 25Sorceress of Magic
Definitely interesting
2/15/2014 c1 54Miss.Breakable Butterfly
God!, Sorry if this comment is not
well written, in my defense I am not
very good writing in English, but
this fic is absolutely beautiful, every
nuance is sublime, I love this kind
of writing and although comments
can assure you envy is only because
you write in a wonderful way ... It's
almost as if you could touch the
edges of the fire and smoke
cigarettes ... Just so lovely is
goodbye heart
1/5/2014 c1 10nutella and a pencil
I am confused...
but in a good way...
You know the way you read a story, and you don't actually remember every single thing that happened but still come away like you know the feel of what happened.
I have no idea what I'm saying/typing, but that's pretty much what it feels like.
Sad and gray and beautiful.
11/21/2013 c1 Phoenix-0987
I am sorry truly I am...this is beautiful in its own way...but nonetheless u write well...not my fav story but still...good

I said those things causei wanted to help u...but I guess I was stupid blind...oh yeah c Ells review I said something 4 u to on that...
And yeah soooo so sorry,
Love and I really mean love...and sorry,,
11/19/2013 c1 Guest
I did care right from the beginning.
My mum read this and then I made her read uncovered! U shud hav seen her reaction... She made me do this thinking that u wud understand it was because I believe u hav changed to much and even she says that this is trashy...what u call a sensation story...and that's bad u may think I am lying when I say I care...but I was only trying to Make u c that u can't get anywhere with this stuff... People on fanfiction may like it but no real publisher wud ever accept anything like this...
11/16/2013 c1 13TheSuperBuffMarsAngelMortal
11/15/2013 c1 kanjimaru67
This is beautiful! The language you've used is so poetic, hinting at darker undertones without overtly stating them, leaving the reader wondering.
Hats off to you. Masterfully done.
11/15/2013 c1 canyoustop
a message for the reviewer below me: stop.
you were warned.
it was rated m
please stop reviewing if you are going to be judgemental and simply rude .
it really isn't nice, and if you don't understand, read the ff guidelines again.
11/15/2013 c1 Guest
I am the same person who said ur stuff is trash... I don't think u have copied the stories I simply KNOW ur copying the language. Uncovered had barely any sex and bad language...but look at thi disgrace u hav no talent what so ever ... U use bad language where it is not even needed.. U and this and some of ur fics disgusting... And very TRASHY! And u r utter disgusting disgrace, and at your age! You and your best friend should never WRITE ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN!
Love ...
11/12/2013 c1 Guest101
Hey, I really miss the old tris, this new style of writing is definitely M
Suggestion: try to write more stories like uncovered and I love the way that story is presented and GOOD LANGUAGE
11/4/2013 c1 Guest
Wow that was really different but really interesting too :) good job
11/2/2013 c1 Virg0Luck
As I said earlier (I think): welcome to the second person dark side! Enjoy your stay. This was amazing. Your stuff is becoming darker, and I think this suits you more than the fluff. Beautifully written, no typos that I can see...I loved the " 'Mione was made for bubblegum girls, but you're raging fire, through and through"- that was utterly perfect.

pos pos pos ok bye

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