for How an OC fic should be: A non MS story11/10/2013 c1 Guest
The premise is good, as I agree there is nothing more annoying than a perfect human Mary-Sue who is miraculously beloved by all.
A bit of criticism: the story seems a bit rushed. She wakes up, is immediately accepted, is told all about what happened to Frodo (keep in mind this should be secret because Gandalf and Elrond would not want anyone knowing the Ring was found), and more importantly, she appears neither frightened, confused or upset that she has left everything she knows behind. True, the elves would likely be helpful and kind, but taking her in so completely, I'm not sure.
Also keep in mind that if Mary is so short, there is no way she could wear anything that Arwen wore. Arwen would be close to 6' tall, and it takes longer than a few hours to adjust a long dress (hem, sleeves, bodice, etc.)
I think it would help to slow the pace down a bit. Good luck!
The premise is good, as I agree there is nothing more annoying than a perfect human Mary-Sue who is miraculously beloved by all.
A bit of criticism: the story seems a bit rushed. She wakes up, is immediately accepted, is told all about what happened to Frodo (keep in mind this should be secret because Gandalf and Elrond would not want anyone knowing the Ring was found), and more importantly, she appears neither frightened, confused or upset that she has left everything she knows behind. True, the elves would likely be helpful and kind, but taking her in so completely, I'm not sure.
Also keep in mind that if Mary is so short, there is no way she could wear anything that Arwen wore. Arwen would be close to 6' tall, and it takes longer than a few hours to adjust a long dress (hem, sleeves, bodice, etc.)
I think it would help to slow the pace down a bit. Good luck!
91