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for the race that changed a race

9/14/2016 c5 2headreviewer mk2
it is so good to see you continuing this story
9/14/2016 c5 2Master-Debater69
Your not even going to pull the angle what primitive forces can beat an advanced military unit right? B/c the UNSC is way stronger than the RDA so they could easily crush the na'vi.
10/16/2015 c4 bensowa46
Hey, I wanted to tell you that I love the story and would like to tell you about a marine I would like if you could incorporate.
Name: Lieutenant Andy Cooper
Age: 34
Description: 6 foot 3 inches tall, short brown hair, MMA fighting trained.
Personality: A good hearted patriot that would do anything to help humanity. He is a soldier through and through.
Once again I love the story and would be very grateful if you could add this character.
Backstory: A country boy born on Earth before the covenant war. Went to harvest and farmed until the covenant attacked. After losing all of his friends and contact with his family Andy joined the marines. He excelled in both sniper missions and open combat.
8/5/2015 c4 2headreviewer mk2
it is good to see you have not forgoten this story and the way you exicuted it was great
and i am astonished there are not more halo and avatar crossovers
3/18/2015 c2 Yeah no
I read your two chapters and i have to say HELL NO. i can say much b/c this the first one of your storys i read. but no please. The UNSC is earth! Come on! come up with a better idea.
9/12/2014 c3 headreviewer mk2
very good i am still here if you need help

as allways you are the writer and im the reader
6/10/2014 c2 headreviewer mk2
good slow and steady wins the race that changed a race ( sorry could not resist. )

now is this take place before, during, or aafter the human covenet war.
if its during well if your read the books you know the covenent can slip on a tracker the exterier of the ships hull

if its after will the shengheilli be helping

and also i was woundering if you could say that the unsc is from arcaidia or even reach to cut down confusion on how there a two earths
5/24/2014 c1 headreviewer mk2
better than what you had before though you might want to pm me to explaine why tearing up the base was a good idea
4/30/2014 c1 Guest
A friend just sent me the title and just finished reading it. It is pretty freaking good so far, You should definitely continue it. I'll see if some more friends get my email for this story.
4/30/2014 c1 Guest
I want to see what happens next. I'll send the name of the story to a friend if he can get it
11/24/2013 c1 10Evil Riggs
Difficult to read and follow in its current format. There are some steps you can take to make this more readable:

-First of all, break up that huge third paragraph into smaller paragraphs. As is, the lack of attribution for dialogue combined with the TEXT BLOCK formatting makes it difficult to follow. One easy way to separate the text into smaller sections is to start a new paragraph whenever a new person starts speaking. Not only is this correct formatting, it will help the eye move much more easily from section to section.

-Be sure to capitalize the first word of every sentence and every proper name.

-Remove the bold formatting from "Pam." While this draws the eye immediately, it's unnecessary (and kind annoying) in a prose story.

Once these changes have been made, I guarantee you'll attract more (and more studious) readers. This isn't a bad story, it just needs some spit and polish to get up and running. Good luck on this and all your future projects!

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