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for The Darkest Hour: Book 1 The Leopard is Born

9/18/2014 c6 autobotavenger
you should update this
2/6/2014 c6 Blue741776
ah, poor Leopardkit, though I can't really sympathize with talonkit, for me, its a miracle to be away from my 5 siblings ;)
12/17/2013 c5 Blue741776
what's ultimatum? never mind, I'll look it up later. Have you checked out my story yet? also, I thought this story was in the old forest. But great chapter! I already like Duskkit!
12/2/2013 c4 Blue741776
Cool! though, can cats grin? I don't use it in my stories because Erin Hunter never did, but its supposed to be made-up so, okay! I think you could have used a little more detail in explaining the other cats, use words like 'silky' 'soft' or 'sharp' when describing the features of fur, ears, expressions, or stuff like that. I just think it hives the reader an idea of what the personality of that cat is when it's outward featured are described.
But over all, good chapter!
11/27/2013 c1 xxAshfurxx
YAYZ ASHFUR...oh wait...nope not same Ashfur :P nvm
11/27/2013 c3 Blue741776
Good chapter, you seem to be really good at foreshadowing future events, I'm absolutely terrible at that! I think I did it three times in my 35 chapter story. I've been trying to go back and fix up my first few chapters, but it takes forever!
11/24/2013 c2 Blue741776
Wow! I can't believe this is your first fanfic! it's really good I love the detail, way better then my prologue, just try not to use the same adverb or adjective in the same paragraph or sentence, like I just did. Anyway, if your interested, could you read my story? it's kind of long already, but if you have the time, I'd like you to read it.

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