for Project Freelancer: Uncertainty1/30/2015 c20 srsly
penn keeps getting hurt
penn keeps getting hurt
1/30/2015 c3 omg yesomg yrs
yaaaaaaaaaay
yaaaaaaaaaay
1/9/2015 c22 
2rvbmastermind
Nice story but I wonder what Penn really is because no freelancer should be in a file labeled expement except Allison or tex
2rvbmastermindNice story but I wonder what Penn really is because no freelancer should be in a file labeled expement except Allison or tex
1/5/2015 c21 Zeta710
I assume Your just not gonna update this at all by now
too bad too it was a good story while it lasted
:(
I assume Your just not gonna update this at all by now
too bad too it was a good story while it lasted
:(
11/30/2014 c21 blackmidnightdiamond
Please update! I personally think that you are doing a great job and should keep up the good work!
Please update! I personally think that you are doing a great job and should keep up the good work!
9/20/2014 c21 Guest
more please
more please
8/27/2014 c21 Zeta
UPDATE!
UPDATE!
1/5/2014 c20 12Jaden Silver
I still like this story and will keep my eyes open for updates, but I do have a few suggestions. For starters, try to keep the tense consistent. This chapter starts in past tense, then switches to present tense. This is okay if it's done for a specific reason, like to indicate a change in point of view, but I see no pattern to the tense changes here. I might just be missing the pattern, if so please ignore the suggestion. But this is one thing that can keep a story engaging and help the flow.
Also, I think some of the fight's description in this chapter could use some work. First of all, I am confused as to what kind of needle they're fighting with. I get that a needle could hurt, but the point of medical needles is that they can be used without causing a lot of bleeding. One way to fix this, while still having Wash armed with random medical supplies, would be to say he's using a scalpel instead. Those are really sharp, are good for slashing if being used as a weapon, and could easily be deadly. Aside from that, just try to change up some of your descriptive words and phrases. Try to use things that would be less common in conversation. You want to find a middle ground between weird words that have people reaching for a dictionary, and overly common ones that can get boring. Making the description interesting is the best way to make combat engaging for a reader.
Aside from all of this, I really am interested to see this story move forward. I want to know what's up with Penn's angry spells and see how his presence in the story changes the outcome of project freelancer. Please, keep it up.
12Jaden SilverI still like this story and will keep my eyes open for updates, but I do have a few suggestions. For starters, try to keep the tense consistent. This chapter starts in past tense, then switches to present tense. This is okay if it's done for a specific reason, like to indicate a change in point of view, but I see no pattern to the tense changes here. I might just be missing the pattern, if so please ignore the suggestion. But this is one thing that can keep a story engaging and help the flow.
Also, I think some of the fight's description in this chapter could use some work. First of all, I am confused as to what kind of needle they're fighting with. I get that a needle could hurt, but the point of medical needles is that they can be used without causing a lot of bleeding. One way to fix this, while still having Wash armed with random medical supplies, would be to say he's using a scalpel instead. Those are really sharp, are good for slashing if being used as a weapon, and could easily be deadly. Aside from that, just try to change up some of your descriptive words and phrases. Try to use things that would be less common in conversation. You want to find a middle ground between weird words that have people reaching for a dictionary, and overly common ones that can get boring. Making the description interesting is the best way to make combat engaging for a reader.
Aside from all of this, I really am interested to see this story move forward. I want to know what's up with Penn's angry spells and see how his presence in the story changes the outcome of project freelancer. Please, keep it up.
1/4/2014 c7 alex gelzer
I have read this two stories and think that they are the best rvb famfic ever and I hope you continue to write new stories and finish these two bye. also I have a character to recommend a hothead named delaware
I have read this two stories and think that they are the best rvb famfic ever and I hope you continue to write new stories and finish these two bye. also I have a character to recommend a hothead named delaware
12/27/2013 c19 Guest TBG
Hmmm...interesting. Story is always in motion, which is always a plus.
This story has been approved. Unlike most people, I can wait until the next chapter comes out.
If you're reading the reviews before reading the fanfic, I heavily encourage you to give this story a try.
Hmmm...interesting. Story is always in motion, which is always a plus.
This story has been approved. Unlike most people, I can wait until the next chapter comes out.
If you're reading the reviews before reading the fanfic, I heavily encourage you to give this story a try.
12/17/2013 c9 Guest
I don't understand why wash did not get alpha flashbacks I know it was your choice or should both Seth and wash get the flashbacks and the have a conversation about this Allison/tex person when wash gets epsilon
I don't understand why wash did not get alpha flashbacks I know it was your choice or should both Seth and wash get the flashbacks and the have a conversation about this Allison/tex person when wash gets epsilon
12/12/2013 c2 12Jaden Silver
I haven't read up to the current chapters yet, so feel free to ignore anything I say here if it's been addressed already. I just want to point out that some of your commas seem out of place. This is something I had to work on a lot when I first started writing, so I can understand the mistake. You need to remember hat a comma is not designed to show inflection. Commas work best when you use as few as possible. Aside from that, the story is really good so far and I look forward to reading the rest.
12Jaden SilverI haven't read up to the current chapters yet, so feel free to ignore anything I say here if it's been addressed already. I just want to point out that some of your commas seem out of place. This is something I had to work on a lot when I first started writing, so I can understand the mistake. You need to remember hat a comma is not designed to show inflection. Commas work best when you use as few as possible. Aside from that, the story is really good so far and I look forward to reading the rest.