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1/13 c1 16Sasina
...so painful. Nice writing...
1/22/2018 c1 EricMun
I'm crying so hard right now. Good job writer for ripping my heart to pieces.
8/10/2014 c1 10isnt-it-pretty
I didnt expect to cry but I did.
7/8/2014 c1 RedTed
Ok, ok, wow! So you think you can just throw this fic at my face and walk away leaving me to rot and die from the sadness, just, wow.
6/24/2014 c1 shuukurou
hello there.

you make me love levihan so much i can't even

god. this is brilliant.
5/25/2014 c1 July Storms
You went straight for the feels with this one, didn't you? I've read a lot of 'fics portraying death in my time within fandom, but I've only read a few in this fandom that dealt with death as a tangible (but still abstract) idea. Does that make sense? Maybe not; I'm a bit tired today.

Especially in fandoms where our characters are in regular peril, I feel that we get used to the idea of them dying a certain way, and it becomes hard to wrap our mind around them losing their life to anything else. After all, General Pixis seems to be the oldest military man that we've seen in the canon thus far; because of this, because the commander of the Survey Corps is Erwin, who can't be older than 40, because Levi and Hange (late 20s, early 30s) are second in command... We assume people don't live long. We assume that they die at the hands of the titans, oftentimes before they even are able to turn into adults, considering 15-year-olds join the military.

Levi and Hange aren't stupid; surely they're aware of the fact that death is not something they're exempt from! But here we see a kind of death that, for these characters, is hard to swallow.

Maybe that sounds stupid to some people, but it makes perfect sense to me, that Hange dying of some kind of illness, dying of something even "Humanity's Strongest can't save her from..." That hits a reader like me hard, because, while Levi is not the sort of man to be overconfident in his own ability, it's easy to imagine that he would still try his best, and in this situation, he can't do anything at all except make time with her. Making time just has to be enough; holding her hand and showing her small affections just has to be enough.

The part that really got me, I think, was the little paragraph devoted to Hange dropping her chemicals and crying. I imagine that by the time characters have been in the Corps as long as Hange and Levi have, that crying has sort of...become irregular; it's not something they see every day from each other, or even every week. You can only shed so many tears for the losses you've suffered in your life. But in this case, Hange is not losing someone close to her... She's losing herself. There is nothing that can convince me that living through that isn't terrifying. This is her first solid encounter with her future, and it's really hard for her. Poor Hange.

The other thing I really liked was Levi arguing with Erwin about Hange. There are so many things I could say about that, but I'll try to keep it short (to save your sanity): first I want to say that Erwin as a character is really interesting. He has been through some serious shit and he's been around a long time; the truth is that his interaction with Hange in even the Isle's Notebook OVA said a lot about how he deals with things.

I've said to other people before that I'm shocked that nobody in the canon has gone after Hange specifically yet, and by that I mean, you would think with all the research she does, if anyone is working against humanity, they would be after the one person who is most likely to discover AND UNDERSTAND something vital. With recent manga spoilers having happened WRT Erwin and his position in the military, I think it's safe to say that Hange is a very important member of the Survey Corps; heck, in some not-so-recent manga chapters (published in the USA now), it's pretty clear that Hange is a leader. I don't think Erwin put her in charge as a squad leader or otherwise carelessly. Erwin always has a plan, after all.

That said, Erwin knows how important Hange is, and in this story, it's clear that he hopes to not only make her happy by letting her do what she enjoys, but also wishes to get more research done through her at the same time. When she dies, that's it. Who knows how many people are actually interested in research within the Corps? (Hange was very much alone in pestering Erwin to do research, so it's clear that Hange is the first person following Ilse to take notes, and the first person in something like 15 years to try to get a "live" specimen to study. Granted, we can assume that Levi had some influence on Hange's proposal being accepted, because his special ops squad helped her get Sawney and Bean, but still, there's clearly not a lot of spare people in the Corps, let alone those interested in research. When Hange dies, that's probably about it.)

(Minus Armin, who might continue her line of work.)

Anyway, Levi's argument with Erwin just felt pretty real, like something that would actually happen. Levi is hurting a lot in that scene, and struggling to deal with the inevitable; he just wants Hange to be safe, but even then he's not so naive as to think that she's actually going to live if he keeps her from going into the lab. (It seriously kicked me in the feels.)

A tiny thing I liked, too, is that he thinks "the doctors lied" about how long she had left. I have to admit that there are lots of stories about people living longer than expected, and that has its own special kind of pain to accompany it, but someone living much shorter a time than expected is really terrible. It's like Levi finally got himself used to the idea that Hange was going to die, and that he only had maybe a year with her, and then, as it turns out, he only gets a quarter of that time.

(I am reminded of an acquaintance of mine who lost a family member to cancer; they found out this family member had cancer, and that person died within six weeks of diagnoses. I mean, wow. Three months is longer, but it's still hardly any time at all when you think about it.)

Anyway, I'm sorry to chatter so much; I get too passionate about things I care about and I tend to bore people to death with my rambling. Just know that this was a very nice little story. You kept everything pretty short and concise, and it helped a lot with getting the emotion across while still keeping the story moving; nothing felt bogged down or excessive or anything like that.

Great job; keep up the great work.
12/7/2013 c1 6alees-sa
that was painful. painful, but beautiful. uwahhhhh it was so well done, I feel like tearing up in all honesty. thank-you so much for posting this! I've been waiting for a fic like this!
11/25/2013 c1 12solitarycloud

I'm sorry... *sobs* I really hate death fics... ;n; But this one in particular was quite well-written... Excuse me, I think I need to go to a corner and cryyyy... TTTT

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