for Aliens: Perspectives12/23/2013 c2 Ted
This is easily one of the MOST ANMAZING stories in Alien fan fiction!
Please continue it!
And I had an idea for you to use or not: Have one of the hosts actually gets free from their cocoon, and wanders around the Hive, disoriented.
They wander into the All Mother's chamber, and instead of running away, stagger towards her, holding out their arms. Some feeling of 'This is my mother' goes through them. The Queen catches them when they stumble and holds them in a motherly way. You could have either that the host dies in her arms, or she tells the baby to calm and stay inside. This moves her to tell Soft Cries to try to find a way to help her children be born, but let the hosts live as well. You could do a few things along that line. A few suggestions:
Soft Cries and the others look at the bodies of dead hosts and learn their biology in order to cut into them so to allow the baby to be born, but not kill. (Under the ribs would be the best bet)
Or, you could have them go into the human colony and find human medical books/files for the same purpose. They may not read the letters, but they could learn from the pictures.
Alternatively, you could have Soft Cries is the one who finds the wandering host, but, instead of the host being frightened of her and trying to get away, they grasp her and want to be held. "I know I'm dying, but I don't want to be alone," might be a sad, poignant line to use. I feel sorry for Soft Cries, who's had to form a tough skin to deal with the pain and suffering she sees so often. In short, I empathize with her, which is a real feat, considering what she is.
Keep it up and PLEASE, FOR GOODNESS SAKES DON'T GIVE UP ON THIS!
This is easily one of the MOST ANMAZING stories in Alien fan fiction!
Please continue it!
And I had an idea for you to use or not: Have one of the hosts actually gets free from their cocoon, and wanders around the Hive, disoriented.
They wander into the All Mother's chamber, and instead of running away, stagger towards her, holding out their arms. Some feeling of 'This is my mother' goes through them. The Queen catches them when they stumble and holds them in a motherly way. You could have either that the host dies in her arms, or she tells the baby to calm and stay inside. This moves her to tell Soft Cries to try to find a way to help her children be born, but let the hosts live as well. You could do a few things along that line. A few suggestions:
Soft Cries and the others look at the bodies of dead hosts and learn their biology in order to cut into them so to allow the baby to be born, but not kill. (Under the ribs would be the best bet)
Or, you could have them go into the human colony and find human medical books/files for the same purpose. They may not read the letters, but they could learn from the pictures.
Alternatively, you could have Soft Cries is the one who finds the wandering host, but, instead of the host being frightened of her and trying to get away, they grasp her and want to be held. "I know I'm dying, but I don't want to be alone," might be a sad, poignant line to use. I feel sorry for Soft Cries, who's had to form a tough skin to deal with the pain and suffering she sees so often. In short, I empathize with her, which is a real feat, considering what she is.
Keep it up and PLEASE, FOR GOODNESS SAKES DON'T GIVE UP ON THIS!
12/6/2013 c2 
1AAEdmonds
I am LOVING this story! Oh please please please continue it sooner than later! You write incredibly well and it was very easy to envision myself in that particular hive.
1AAEdmondsI am LOVING this story! Oh please please please continue it sooner than later! You write incredibly well and it was very easy to envision myself in that particular hive.
12/4/2013 c2 Casual Read
Another marvelous chapter to an already amazing story.
First off, I saw no technical issues, grammar or spelling mistakes at all, which is a real miracle on this site!
The story is amazing, no doubt. You've shown a hint of tenderness, but also a hardness to the Aliens that they would need to survive.
An interesting angle to use is that in the memories from the All Mother, Soft Cries sees that far, far back they were supposed to be protectors. If they were artificially made, instead of being made as weapons, as many believe they were, they were created to be protectors and nurturers of a race that no longer lives, but part of that nature still dwells within them. If you have a human survives the birth, something powerful to show would be Soft Cries, or one of the others, holding the human in their arms, as one might hold a frightened child.
Now, there IS a way a human could survive the birth: if the baby, for whatever reason, turns downward, she could get through the flesh under the ribs and go between the ribs and the diaphram. It's trauma to the lungs and heart that kills the host, not the damage to the ribs.
It would be very painful, without a doubt, but the Aliens coulds use the resin that creates the silk that holds the All Mother's womb as a bandage. As long as the diaphram isn't damaged (You need it to breathe) and the umbelical cord didn't tear the heart or lungs when it was broken, the person should live. This would probably apply if the host is something other than a human as well.
I'm very glad you updated and didn't give up on this amazing story!
Another marvelous chapter to an already amazing story.
First off, I saw no technical issues, grammar or spelling mistakes at all, which is a real miracle on this site!
The story is amazing, no doubt. You've shown a hint of tenderness, but also a hardness to the Aliens that they would need to survive.
An interesting angle to use is that in the memories from the All Mother, Soft Cries sees that far, far back they were supposed to be protectors. If they were artificially made, instead of being made as weapons, as many believe they were, they were created to be protectors and nurturers of a race that no longer lives, but part of that nature still dwells within them. If you have a human survives the birth, something powerful to show would be Soft Cries, or one of the others, holding the human in their arms, as one might hold a frightened child.
Now, there IS a way a human could survive the birth: if the baby, for whatever reason, turns downward, she could get through the flesh under the ribs and go between the ribs and the diaphram. It's trauma to the lungs and heart that kills the host, not the damage to the ribs.
It would be very painful, without a doubt, but the Aliens coulds use the resin that creates the silk that holds the All Mother's womb as a bandage. As long as the diaphram isn't damaged (You need it to breathe) and the umbelical cord didn't tear the heart or lungs when it was broken, the person should live. This would probably apply if the host is something other than a human as well.
I'm very glad you updated and didn't give up on this amazing story!
12/3/2013 c1 Guest
This is a REALLY cool story! Please continue it!
The spelling is very good, and story just draws you in.
And FYI, the reason this might not have gotten too many reviews is that people look at the word count and judge from that. Since this is only 221 words, people might be thinking it's one of the very short bits of nothing that permeate this site. But, since your writing is so good, if you publish another chapter, longer, people will pay more attention. And, FYI, you could label this a "Prologue", which will REALLY draw people in. You can still edit the document and update/replace the chapter with it titled "Prologue" or something like that.
Please don't quit on this, as it has SO much potential! And don't forget to try to sell the story and yourself. If you've got a Facebook or Myspace account, add a link to the story. if you have a friend who can draw, make a cover and "posters" to advertise the story. But, above all, DON'T GIVE UP! Please update soon and wow us again.
This is a REALLY cool story! Please continue it!
The spelling is very good, and story just draws you in.
And FYI, the reason this might not have gotten too many reviews is that people look at the word count and judge from that. Since this is only 221 words, people might be thinking it's one of the very short bits of nothing that permeate this site. But, since your writing is so good, if you publish another chapter, longer, people will pay more attention. And, FYI, you could label this a "Prologue", which will REALLY draw people in. You can still edit the document and update/replace the chapter with it titled "Prologue" or something like that.
Please don't quit on this, as it has SO much potential! And don't forget to try to sell the story and yourself. If you've got a Facebook or Myspace account, add a link to the story. if you have a friend who can draw, make a cover and "posters" to advertise the story. But, above all, DON'T GIVE UP! Please update soon and wow us again.
11/27/2013 c1 Casual Reader
What a wonderful, heartfelt and amazing beginning. So few stories are shown from a Xenomorph's perspective, this is something else. Within the first few paragraphs, you've sucked me in. I feel sorry for the little one. Establishing empathy and compassion for such a feared creature is quite a feat, especially in so small a space as this story does, so kudos to you.
The idea of Xenomorphs being a symbiotic creature is an amazing angle to take. I can't wait to see what you do next. I think it might be interesting if the Xenomorph's "mother" is, in fact, male. Indeed, might be interesting to show the whole concept of "Male" is foreign to their kind, and takes some time for them to (forgive the pun) wrap their head around. And I would imagine anything that would survive the birth would, in effect, be considered an "Adoptive member" of the Hive. As such, the eggs wouldn't even flinch at their presence. I would think the Queen would be more than happy to have her child's "surrogate mother" as part of the Hive, but that's just me.
The only grammar issue I saw was:"That's when you here it for the first time."
It should be: "That's when you HEAR it for the first time.", but it's the ONLY one I saw, which is nothing short of a miracle on this site, so go easy on yourself and take your time. Above all, have fun with the writing, it shows in the end;)
Keep writing, and we'll keep reading!
What a wonderful, heartfelt and amazing beginning. So few stories are shown from a Xenomorph's perspective, this is something else. Within the first few paragraphs, you've sucked me in. I feel sorry for the little one. Establishing empathy and compassion for such a feared creature is quite a feat, especially in so small a space as this story does, so kudos to you.
The idea of Xenomorphs being a symbiotic creature is an amazing angle to take. I can't wait to see what you do next. I think it might be interesting if the Xenomorph's "mother" is, in fact, male. Indeed, might be interesting to show the whole concept of "Male" is foreign to their kind, and takes some time for them to (forgive the pun) wrap their head around. And I would imagine anything that would survive the birth would, in effect, be considered an "Adoptive member" of the Hive. As such, the eggs wouldn't even flinch at their presence. I would think the Queen would be more than happy to have her child's "surrogate mother" as part of the Hive, but that's just me.
The only grammar issue I saw was:"That's when you here it for the first time."
It should be: "That's when you HEAR it for the first time.", but it's the ONLY one I saw, which is nothing short of a miracle on this site, so go easy on yourself and take your time. Above all, have fun with the writing, it shows in the end;)
Keep writing, and we'll keep reading!