Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Halo: Another Earth

10/26/2019 c2 3Cipher32
Yeah, your writing could use some work. It's not bad at all alright, you just need to learn how to utilize monologue better.

For example here the Chief said "Blue team, get ready to return to the Strident-class frigate that is still currently above us in case these civilians get any bright ideas"

It's a bit too much and unrealistic, not yet to mention Chief's character is a definition of 'less talk and more action'.

It would be better if you put the dialogue then followed by explanation like "Blue Team, get ready to return to the Strident" Said Master Chief. Earlier before mission Captain Lasky assigned a Strident-class Frigate to extract them in case things went south, it currently oribiting above the clouds providing overwatch and data support between them and Infinity.

Or if you want to militarized it more you could use "Blue Team, prep for plan B, call the Strident down" then go to explain what 'plan b' is to your readers.
6/15/2019 c6 disposeableaccount90824
Amazing! What a truly gripping storyline, hints of drama, original ideas, rare grammar and spelling mistakes. Keep going! I beg of you.
1/29/2018 c2 Guest
Your writing is shit
2/28/2017 c6 randyr2015
Really like this story hope you keep updating it
7/26/2015 c2 Ghost024
No offense but Master Chief and all other Spartans would be under orders to not reveal who/what they are to anyone. Meaning they would have likely destroyed the IS then retreated. This is more likely then having Chief reveal that he is a Spartan and the existence of the UNSC...
5/5/2015 c3 TheLazyHaiku
Laura is supposed to have some military training
2/25/2015 c1 Guest
Just a update a new are the world purge arc is out hope this helps the story when it get off ice.
1/27/2015 c6 Guest
Question when is the next chapter going to come out? And great job with story couple of typos though but still great job
12/31/2014 c6 becauseno
please please continue the stroy
12/11/2014 c6 Guest
please make more this story is really good.
11/9/2014 c6 Guest
How long till a it off ice/gets a update?
8/22/2014 c6 Bm
Am back with more hope it is useful

the UN and other country's try not to make it too long and not too many yes men as wall try to keep it brief or if it a larger part of the story like if there found out to try to keep the world from franking out and it will happen sooner or later it all was get out some how as it all was happens. Also if the planet is to be invaded there would be a meeting to plan but it would most likely not end wall as history has showed.

Next weapons if you are going to make new weapon for them the UNSC will be easy look a the wiki and you will see that the human weapons often change a some numbers and letters and with the others just add a 2.0 for some for both if you can't thing of a new name for a weapon strait away to be named latter to save time and I know that the UNSC will not share there Weapons with the IS plots or the world but there will be some changes to there weapons no a lot.

I will add any thing that I make think of latter hopes it helps you with the story
8/21/2014 c1 Bm
Coming in from last time here are some more thing that I thing you may of thought of but I put it for you to think about.

First the Covenant I saw some people and you say thay would like to see the Covenant in the but it would be best to have them in the other realty then the IS because of how compacted it would be to fit them into the story if you have readied the book on first contact with humanity and what the captan told the kid it gets hard fast so I would advise to have then in the other realty and even with the infinity this is them at the top of there military power even the infinity would be over powered with the full Covenant navy all 18 fleets come down on it, if you want the Covenant in badly with the IS it may be best to have them tag along on there way back to there realty and have them on way or another and maybe not just the student or the storm Covenant acadently ending up in that realty as wall. My idea to have both Covenant would be that the storm use the broadcast from halo 2 to take compete control of some covenant fleets like order 66 in Star Wars or showing that earth has the porter to the ark but it would be like halo 2 to have the Covenant civil war.

Sorry if I am repeating what other people have more to come
8/10/2014 c6 Bm
I liked this story so far and I like to put some input as what I would like to see and other thing as wall also I've readied your profile. By the way I'm a bad speller and grammar.

If the story starts to go stale try no to stay with the story you could just go to the infinity and use the ODST and other people on the ship and like have them find the Alaska treaty and there thought on it as wall as other things to add as something new to keep it going.
Remember in infinite Stratos that woman dormant men in this society so try not to have to many men try some other UNSC soldiers like Sarah Palmer and others as a ambassador to work with the power difference between men and woman in this world and look at IS/halo wiki for facts about the spartan 4 and IS other then the main sires ones and try not to kill of to many enemies early on just have them able to get a good shot in but have them on the defense and give them something to make them a threat so that the UNSC dos not look over powered.
Sorry if I annoyed you in any way but I will be adding more later hoped that you got something form that
8/8/2014 c6 1noondark
I love it! Please update!
68 Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service