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for Halo: Another Earth

12/18/2013 c3 Shashenka
Keep going i really like it and it is getting really god!
12/17/2013 c2 thunder18
Great chapter Update soon
12/14/2013 c2 1337
Looking good so far. I'm curious, if a Spartan,(with just his/her mjolnir armor and a normal gun) can take on an I.S. Personally,I would like to see (or read in this case) their faces when they see you just cant beat a Spartan. Oh, and one more thing, Master Cheif would kill a student if he had to. You have to remember, he is a genetically and cybernetically enhanced super soldier, WHO is also rated a HYPER LETHAL VECTOR. He might have some moral problems with it, but he would do it if he had to. And...well he could also take on an I.S, he can take on multiple Scarabs at once, I think he can beat a couple of inexperianced kids.
12/14/2013 c2 Guest
Just to point out btw. Representative candidates are given basic military training and the twirly thing the she does with the double sword is a show of skill more than anything. Not everyone can do that at that speed without hitting themselves or dropping the weapon. Also it gives the wielder a good idea of his/her reach, which is important in a fight. If you over extend you will be left off balance or in a position where you can't properly counter. And damn is this review long. Sorry but it was bugging me a bit to get this out.
12/14/2013 c2 Guest
Hi just want to say i like your story so far. If you want i could proofread your story for you because i noticed several errors in your grammar that i would be willing to fix. My username is Im2lazy4aname. Pm me with your answer
12/16/2013 c2 GXY-2013
An awesome chapter. I really hope that John-117 and the UNSC will make their first official contact with the people of the IS Academy and the UNSC will explain to them exactly where they came from and how they get here.

Whether or not if you want the UNSC to reveal themselves to the rest of the world or not is up to you.

Keep up the good work.
12/15/2013 c2 fray253
can't wait for the next chapter
12/14/2013 c2 Liger24
I'm loving this story so far, Can't wait to read more chapters and find out what happens.
12/14/2013 c1 1im2lazy4aname
I like the story so far and i also offer to beta read for you. Pm your answer plz
12/14/2013 c2 4Major Simi
Well looks like the Chief made an interesting intro , well done chapter and good and interesting story.
So the only thing to say now is merry Christmas and a happy New year
12/14/2013 c2 killroy225
What I meant by changes in tense was that you were going from present to past tense to future with no rhyme or reason, it was just something I noticed because my English class had been going over tenses recently
12/14/2013 c2 Amir-015
To be honest the first prototype version of the HRUNTING would be far more practical to use in a combat situation. Just look at what the Prototype managed to do. The Mantis is an insult to it.

Not to mention the size differences between the two. The Active Camo would have worked better with the Protoype than the Mantis.
12/14/2013 c2 5Tobi-Douchebag-666
What if she meets a Huragok?
12/14/2013 c2 Invizabledragon
Many things to say in this. One, the mark 7 is a real MJOLNIR varient, its the one from halo 4 and is designated in the armor section as mark 7. Next, to get a beta reader have a friend or someone from the beta section of this site read over what you wrote as a final draft and had planned to submit to the chapters. They will clean it up or tell you how to do so yourself and then, after those changes are in place, you submit the chapter. Next, forerunners had no time travel. If they did they would have stopped themselves from killing prehistoric humanity off and with them their only chance of curing the flood. Their suits allowed them to live indefinitely however, but they could still die. The HRRUNTING/YGGDRASIL armor is actually the first variant of the MJOLNIR series, as was described in "prototype". The suit Ghost piloted was a prototype powered armor weapon platform based off the Cyclops loader/demolitions suit mark 3. The mark 4 series was officially named MJOLNIR and given to the Spartans. Also, great job on this story :3 I look forward to ready so much more, and hopping this thing gets as big as From Harvest to the Ark or even The Life
12/12/2013 c1 5Sonicfanx1
First reaction: Wait...your name sounds familiar...oh wait.

Reading review: It oozes the word "rushed". I know it's only 2k words, better than Gohan's 400-500 words, but it lacks his quality.

For example, to everyone who knows the Halo plot line like the back of their hand, the first few paragraphs are basically things we ready know. It could have been improved though since the opening paragraph felted...forced and weird. Familiar of Zero Spartan-III (is that it?) didn't have that problem.

Another issue Is that I know Fred is good in CQC, knife cobalt to be specific, BUT he can't take on 20 Elites at the same time. No, just...no! Spartans are over powered, but thy are not THAT overpowered! If the Halo games, a single Elite melee attack can take out all your shields on normal and a second one would kill you. Fredric would have to dodge and KNOCK OUT 20 Elites in Multi-combat. That is nearly impossible.

Another problem I have is how "OP" the mantis is. It might be a mech, and mechs are cool, but it can't take on entire armies. Two to three Scorpion rounds can easily destroy it and it's shielding isn't even that good.

Also, the shock when they find out that "Earth" isn't "Earth". It's seriously cliched. I mean, the way you did it was cliched. I don't have any suggestions for that.

Now for some ACTUAL suggestions.

Taking Physics into account, the MJOLNIR Powered Assault Armor's shielding uses energized particles to act as its shield. It somehow deflects bullets and is highly effective against energy weapons as they dissipate on contact, however that is also the shield's primary weakness. They can be easily weakened by energy weapons.

Infinite Stratos shields can take a lot more punishment (against 21st century weapons). They are also built to withstand intense kinetic attacks such as Rin's pressurized air attack in season one. Their energy shields are effective against both physical and energy base attacks BUT, I don't think they'll fare well against concentrated kinetic pressure (bullets). They will hit in one area, and since IS tech is made for games and other IS, they won't withstand all too many MA5D or BR85HB rounds. Of course, this is just me assuming that, for all I know, the creator of IS (series) might think they'd destroy Spartan-IIs.

Now, onto confrontation.

I apologize, I might have started this trend: Spartans/UNSC meets ANY Infinite Stratos Fight scene. Logically, that shouldn't happen. The IS Academy would be too shocked at their appearance and would assume negotiations instead and the UNSC, not wanting to fight other humans, would do the same.

Unless it was Phantom Task. Then a fight is good. That or it was in self defense.

Now, OOCness.

I won't mind a *tiny* bit OOC John, but please don't make him ruthless. He takes orders and is trained to stop insurgency, not kill 16 year old Japanese children. Logically, it would be difficult for him to go in solo against an IS since it isn't like he can climb onto it and start punching. ISes are extremely versatile and maneuverable. Even if he found a way to grab hold, there is still that human reach he has to worry about. What would stop Ichika or any other IS user from grabbing him and throwing him like a ragdoll? Okay, his weight, but that's besides the point. Fat bastard...(jokes, jokes).

That's all I have now. And like one of the reviewers said, don't make a UNSC crew member join the IS academy for no reason.

IDGPE has a great reason, I'm just too busy raging on my rewrite.
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