Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Halo: Another Earth

12/9/2013 c1 RIAS
A edxelent top,please no tarrying in update in i want to know what will be their first encounter, will face the IS against the spartan(tie) and ichika and his harem will visit the infinity or also the covenat fleets will discover this new world and the attack
12/11/2013 c1 killroy225
Good story and premise, though the change in tenses is mildly annoying. Keep it up!
12/9/2013 c1 theanonreview
Alright so here's what i think as soon as the crew of the infinity jumped or warped the immediately just happened to jump the boat that they were in another dimension the first thing that comes to my mind is that they would be a bit skeptical as they had not tested the forerunner equipment they could have ended up a few hundred years into the past or future, also another thing to note is that you happened to mess up one phrase.

"The all the channels that we use in the UNSC are not working, meaning it is not picking up anything, only static"

just a tiny mistake also i think it would improve the dialogue just a bit if you were to phrase it as if he was a "smart" AI something along the line of.

"Well for starters i do not detect any of the standard frequencies that we the UNSC use."

for these types of mistakes get a beta reader he/she will save you some trouble in the long run.

and here's a few tips on how not to mess the story up i don't want to see it go up in flames.

don't have the IS immediately go after the drop point as long as it's not changing directions and has radio silence or anything out of the ordinary there is absolutely no reason to treat it differently than an asteroid or meteorite as meteorite impacts happen all of the time.

another thing is that the UNSC infinity and her crew should stay as part of an individual faction and should only make contact if they decide to, (which is a stupid idea on they're part, yeah we're in another dimension let's go mingle with the locals and give them our technology and tell them we're from a different earth #sarcasm) happen to be in desperate need for some supply's, or just happen to be found, (which unless if the residents of this earth suddenly decide it's not a meteorite it shouldn't happen for a while) or just happen to accidentally stumble upon the locals (which is also not likely to happen unless it's something that they're sensors.)

Also for THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T put anyone from the UNSC Infinity's crew into the IS academy it's been a thousand times over and it's a harem trap. the only exception is the AI to have a spy in the network or just someone posing as staff, i don't want this to be just another IS Fanfic.

and for the location that the Spartans should have they're first drop would be somewhere quiet and remote i think that the best place for now.

anyway what do you think anything missing from this review did this help you at all? sonicfan1x would give some constructive criticism if he does watch for it it'll probably help you even more.
12/10/2013 c1 5Tobi-Douchebag-666
Would the HRUNTING/YGGDRASIlL armor ever make an appearance. Also I am very willing to believe that they'd go on a hunt for Tabane Shinonono the moment they realize how dangerous she is
12/9/2013 c1 ThePizziaMan
Nice start:)
12/9/2013 c1 Shashenka
so far so good it looks like a really interesting idea although i recommend they become their own faction and don't immediately work with the is people and defintely dont give away their technology or who they are
12/9/2013 c1 Amir-015
The Spartans would be too old to be students in the IS Academy. Teachers are more likely but their social skills aren't that good.
12/9/2013 c1 fray253
can't wait for the next chapter how about s2 a little bit after phantom task attacks
68 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service