for It wasn't ever gonna be easy, It will always be worth it1/1/2016 c2 PiratedWords
I must first tell you that I am thoroughly impressed with your imagination! This one small fix and its predecessor (I'm guessing that's "what you would do for the life of a friend") are hilariously entertaining, that part when Popo walked in made me squeal dramatically - haha, I loved it!
You write well, though I had to read it a few times to understand the concept of your story. Maybe check your gramma before publishing it, I always find reading out loud makes it easier to find minor errors that make a great difference when reading the flow of the story.
Your depth is good, perhaps a little more, I really wanted to feel more with this. I felt Dende's emotion very strongly and thought Piccolo was left a little unbalanced by this. I'm not sure if you are focused on one Namek or the other. But over all very delicious. I do like this naughty side of Piccolo ;)
I hope you continue this piece, I cannot wait for the next upload!
I must first tell you that I am thoroughly impressed with your imagination! This one small fix and its predecessor (I'm guessing that's "what you would do for the life of a friend") are hilariously entertaining, that part when Popo walked in made me squeal dramatically - haha, I loved it!
You write well, though I had to read it a few times to understand the concept of your story. Maybe check your gramma before publishing it, I always find reading out loud makes it easier to find minor errors that make a great difference when reading the flow of the story.
Your depth is good, perhaps a little more, I really wanted to feel more with this. I felt Dende's emotion very strongly and thought Piccolo was left a little unbalanced by this. I'm not sure if you are focused on one Namek or the other. But over all very delicious. I do like this naughty side of Piccolo ;)
I hope you continue this piece, I cannot wait for the next upload!
1/21/2014 c1 
13libbyluvs
:D awww...everyone give foxy here a hug!
There you go you sad person! Cheer up! Find a nice stump in the woods and touch yourself till you are happy fracker.
13libbyluvs:D awww...everyone give foxy here a hug!
There you go you sad person! Cheer up! Find a nice stump in the woods and touch yourself till you are happy fracker.
1/20/2014 c1 The Fox Familiar
Review? Sure.
Your typical slash story, with fetal dickgirls, long paragraphs, and a shitty author who thinks what they do is gold. All I'm seeing here is a bunch of teenagers, or self inserts of you, doing things no one cares about, getting "married" and all this other OOC shit that I can't be bothered to name.
Your talent is lacking and I yawn at this story.
Review? Sure.
Your typical slash story, with fetal dickgirls, long paragraphs, and a shitty author who thinks what they do is gold. All I'm seeing here is a bunch of teenagers, or self inserts of you, doing things no one cares about, getting "married" and all this other OOC shit that I can't be bothered to name.
Your talent is lacking and I yawn at this story.
1/10/2014 c2 5Chem-Death
He smelled things he shouldn't have and Piccolo, you better get your royal pissed-off ass over there and get that aroused Trunks off your mate!
It's good.
5Chem-DeathHe smelled things he shouldn't have and Piccolo, you better get your royal pissed-off ass over there and get that aroused Trunks off your mate!
It's good.
12/20/2013 c1 Guest
Holy tits! This story is steamy lol
Holy tits! This story is steamy lol
12/15/2013 c1 1rampantidiocy18
next chapter NOW! i will say nothing more until i see it. (that was bloody brilliant!)
1rampantidiocy18next chapter NOW! i will say nothing more until i see it. (that was bloody brilliant!)
12/11/2013 c1 Hollydoor
Aaaahhhhhhhh Hhhhhrrrrrr! Ppplllllllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeee updaaaaaaaaaare!
Aaaahhhhhhhh Hhhhhrrrrrr! Ppplllllllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaassssssssseeeeeeee updaaaaaaaaaare!
12/10/2013 c1 9Warlady
Wow! It's just...Wowww! These two paired are just lovely. And your way or describes they relationship is so amazing.
9WarladyWow! It's just...Wowww! These two paired are just lovely. And your way or describes they relationship is so amazing.
12/10/2013 c1 Dragon96
Love it! :D Yay, Piccolo/Dende fanfiction! You don't get to read that very often. :)
Love it! :D Yay, Piccolo/Dende fanfiction! You don't get to read that very often. :)
12/10/2013 c1 25siberat
This is sounding so good! I feel its a bit more in depth with the characters! I like the bit of angst- and I felt so bad for Dende feeling so badly!
Best line ever:
They didn't even have the decency to stop
gowd I love that line- ROTFLMAO!
can't wait for more!
P.s. Poor Mr Po Po!
25siberatThis is sounding so good! I feel its a bit more in depth with the characters! I like the bit of angst- and I felt so bad for Dende feeling so badly!
Best line ever:
They didn't even have the decency to stop
gowd I love that line- ROTFLMAO!
can't wait for more!
P.s. Poor Mr Po Po!