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4/1/2020 c15 Corruptedquotes
Chapter 14 & 15 are the exact same thing
4/1/2020 c15 5ClyxicRyse
You uploaded chapter 14 again
3/31/2020 c15 3OechsnerC
Awesome update.
3/31/2020 c15 1helioskrill2088
You have uploaded the same chapter
2/5/2020 c1 User Closed
his reaction is not worthy of an oc but a self-insert because he accepts far too quickly to be a slave!
doesn't he have family, friends he left behind?
this self-insert shouts Gary Stu because what kind of character would accept so easily without blinking to be isekaied?

two Mcs together? good luck keeping Saito like Mc without overshadowed by Daichi
especially if it's oc x harem, the story will focus mainly on Daichi and his harem and hardly if Saito will exist as a character
1/30/2020 c13 Guest
Few things, one, daichi seems way too under powered with whatever the hell his abilities are, his magic is versatile as balls which any modern member of our world can figure out. For example he could use blood magic to speed u p his blood flow, channel more blood into limbs for stronger strikes and possibly give him a healing factor via speeding up mitosis or manipulating the blood to place everything back together, maybe even strengthen areas for less damage on impact. With his fire being magical he could have endless possibilities, from naruto attacks to autonomous swords, twisters, dragons and even bombs, and if it upgraded into plasma magic the possibilities are unimaginable. Also I would think daichi is smart enough to regularly mix up the lengths of his 30ft long sword mid combat like gin from bleach, 4ft to 30ft in a flash could knock opponents weapons out of their hands and grant lethal blows..
2/1/2020 c3 Vercingetorix Rex
your oc accepts far too quickly the fact of being invoked on another planet!
it's almost as if he was waiting to be invoked, I even almost classified him as a self-insert!

only a self-insert would accept as quickly (and again!) to agree to be invoked without asking any questions, panicking or any other reaction

what kind of person would accept to be invoked on another planet without having the possibility of seeing his family again?

I still find it hard to understand why you introduced Saito if you hated him so much?

the introduction of Saito still always seems forced.
mainly because Saito is a ... Ladies Man he is attracted to the opposite sex! which explains why he is regularly beaten by Louise!

Daichi who seduces Siesta? oh great an another Lady Man
Two Ladies Men together, I can easily imagine Dachi trying to kill him if Saito gets too close to "his" harem! lol

Have you really planned a major role for Saito or having a disdain for Louise, have you invoked him so that she isn't in Dachi's harem and get rid of her? (rather the second solution in my opinion, this is felt in your authors notes and it isn't good, rather even the opposite!)

I think this story would have been much better if Saito had the only protagonist but YOUR version of Saito, that Saito was never invoked or that the story was more balanced Saito and Daichi getting their own spotlight without being overshadowed by the other and possibly that the harem is divided by two.

your oc which does exactly the same thing as Saito in canon. he doesn't do his own things but just follows the original plot.
1/30/2020 c14 3OechsnerC
Awesome update
1/29/2020 c1 Vercingetorix Rex
I'm confused? is it due to an error but... Saito?
why introduce Saito as a character if you hated him so much?
that's not going to be a good story since it will be sidetracked on your character and on his harem (well let's say Saito's rather.)

I know that this story dates back several years but seriously you have never read/watched harems stories other than Foz?
because the stories where the hero gets a harem but ends up with the main girl in his harem are legion ... like Rosario Vampire for example!

it is as if you were writing a Rosario story, introduce both an oc and Tsukune and that the harem went with your oc, Tsukune being reduced to an unimportant secondary role.

not sincerely, introducing Saito was a big mistake, the focus will only be your character and Saito will be "forgotten".

your oc immediately accepts the idea of having been transported without worrying for a second about the place, people around it, whether these are hostile or not, have good or bad intentions, ...
at least in the novel Saito is surprised, panic, asks more questions ...
a fairly normal reaction for someone who was suddenly torn from his native world!

1) it isn't stated in the anime probably because the scriptwriters were more interested in the harem/ecchi side, but the runes have the ability to brainwash familiars' brains, including Saito!

2) Saito stupid? on the wiki he is described as someone smart, with a strong sense of curiosity, a basic understanding of computer science and possibly knowledge in pharmocology, ores, inventions, and electricity.

Also, he has instincts of subservient to Louise due to her violent behavior, and his peaceful upbringing.
but I recognize that this part could have been better written.

3) for the powder, it was only recently discovered on Halkeginia, the rifles aren't legions and must be expensive to produce.
and then it could possibly attract unwanted attention.

4) Would Louise have let him learn?
for her Saito as her familiar which she considers as a symbol of her status as a noblewoman, an object.
and a commoner learn? in a nation where the nobles believe they belong to a higher caste because they master magic?

Saito could have asked but would Louise have accepted this request? I'm not so sure...

animes/mangas like Foz being only a showcase for novels, it's only my opinion those aren't advised to base a story.
1/29/2020 c14 7Cure Crystal
since this story is rated M will there be lemons?
1/29/2020 c14 Neo Infinity
Thanks for the chapter, I have posted Eevee on my profile with great pleasure.
7/17/2019 c13 588963-B
Daichi: write on my tombstone that I died to a badass.
4/4/2019 c13 1DanDrake
Question the scene with kirche and siesta in the bedroom was that kirche just being her normal flirty self and just trying to get siesta to blush or is this going to be one of those magical "We're in a harem thus we must be bisexual" plots because honestly I'm hoping for the first. (Not because I have anything against homosexuality or bisexuality I have friends who are both I have no problems with it) but because the whole "we're bisexual because we're sharing the same man" is so over used it's not even funny, out of the dozens if not hundreds of harem fics I've read (that weren't T rated or below) might have found 3-4 that didn't make there characters automatically bisexual. It just feels over done to me.

...(Sorry for the rant lol didn't mean to type so much but I wanted to get my point across love the story keep up the great work!)
4/4/2019 c5 DanDrake
I am assuming that during the scene with the fire ball and the rings the color change signified a increase in temperature (if not ignore this) if so you got two colors wrong blue comes before white in the heat scale not after the colors go red- orange- blue- white from coldest to hottest

Just thought I'd tell you great story by the way!
3/27/2019 c4 lazyguyrx
my dude the reason season 4 of the familiar of zero was so different to the rest of the series is because the guy making the manga died like half way thru the show and they tried to finish it for him eventually messing up and confusing people but its surprisingly worse because the creator of the show/anime/manga died meaning we will never know how it was truly meant to continue /or end
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