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12/25/2013 c1 Deathfox9
Really great story!
There seems to be some similarities to kurokisji's End Game though
12/25/2013 c1 3Lighting-Squall
i like the start so hopefully i can see the next chapter soon! btw are you gonna do it like a harem or it will be naruto x rias only?
12/25/2013 c1 Green Eyed Jealousy
Good first chapter, Looking forward to the next chapter..
keep it up.
12/25/2013 c1 15alchemists19
very nice
12/25/2013 c1 nad destroyer
Well this chapter is okay so far. Its a little cliche, but I don't consider all the crappy stories out there to be good comparisions. I know there are only 2 stories that share this kind of beginning that are actually good. I think you came off as way to strong on the hating for Naruto and its really fustrating that he doesn't defend himself. Hope you can explain where your going with this story in the next few chapters... at least the basic questions.

Ah... I'd definetly consider this story for lemons. In cannon its a harem story. In regards to the harem you should keep it small as Issei wants to be Harem King and you don't want to completely warp the story. So Asia should stick with Issei.
12/25/2013 c1 Guest
the naruto in this is week make him almost god like like rias bother strong
12/25/2013 c1 9Aemon.D.Boneless
Natural seems a little cold in this story I think I but I like it
12/25/2013 c1 Guest
Pretty good... This seem almost like kur0kishi fanfic but different and naruto is not as troll
12/25/2013 c1 7windfox90
Good start to the story
12/25/2013 c1 eavise
Good first chapter
12/25/2013 c1 Strife666
interesting...
12/25/2013 c1 5Fahad09
Sorry to say this, but I'm disappointed with this story.
Not only has the story been done a dozen times over in the last month alone, but it doesn't make any sense. Raynare is so incredibly weak that a skilled human can kill her.
To a trained, highly skilled ninja she should be nothing, with or without using any chakra. Plus Issei is not a likable character and that Naruto had to die for him is annoying as hell.
The fact that Naruto is getting bashed so badly in school not only makes nor sense but makes Naruto come off as as a wuss because he does nothing but take it (something I could never stand in the Cannon how he let the villagers action go as nothing, I mean they never even apologized to how they acted).

Overall, not your best work
Let me just say I'm a fan of your work and I love your stories but this by far bellow your usual standards. My recommendation is to rewrite this chapter or scrap this story.

Sorry if I'm coming off a bit harsh, I don't mean to flame or anything but I just have really high expectations from your stories, and I know your capable of much better.
12/25/2013 c1 19Stormking27
What the pairing?
12/25/2013 c1 1ddcj1990
Very good first chapter I like it so looking forward to reading more
12/25/2013 c1 13Heliosion
A nice set up in progress. Looking forward to the next chapter
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