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for Rebel Love Song

6/26/2015 c24 23VampireRide
I feel like Max and Fang's relationship is evolving rather than just staying the same and that's awesome.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c23 VampireRide
ELLA IS BI I FREAKING CALLED IT! (Well I thought she was just a straight-up lesbian but close enough) AND IM JUST HAPPY BECAUSE I HAVE AWESOME GUESSING SKILLS!... moving on.
Even though it was just a filler I liked it because Max apologized and we find out Ella's secret (Which I already guessed, XD) and it's a nice slow pace for a change.
And the dialogue is pretty good. I mean, there's probably bits and pieces that need work but for the most part it flowed well. If you're ever iffy about dialogue you could just go back and read solely that and see if it flows.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c22 VampireRide
I have some out-of-comfort-zone ideas, but I'm not sure if you still want any. besides I've only read two of your stories so maybe I could be wrong.
And wow, Max just chewed Ella up and spit her out. I kinda feel bad for Ella to be honest. I understand tensions are running high and everything and Max's outburst is completely justified, but I don't think it should have been pointed at Ella.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c21 VampireRide
Thank you Jeb for finally being an actual human being for once in your life. I appreciate that very much. Please keep it up.
And there was some tense change in there so I'd watch that to make sure you don't go from past to present tense. I know it happened at the end but I haven't really been watching for it so yeah
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c20 VampireRide
This saddens me deeply. I already knew it was going to happen but STILL. It hurts. I feel so bad for Max and Ella, even though I don't like Ella(not in your story just in general). And I hate whoever was stupid enough to run a red light. He's ruined everything.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c19 VampireRide
I accidentally saw a review so I know what happened DX *cries*
And oh okay, I get why Angel was in such bad condition now.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c18 VampireRide
I'm not sure if I missed something or not but I don't think her mother kicking her once could make it this bad? Didn't Fang get beat with a baseball bat a couple chapters ago?
But I'm still really worried about if Angel will die or not since that's apparently a possibility
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c17 VampireRide
fax fax fax! That is literally all I care about. And I'm starting to get really worried about Max. I don't want her to hurt herself or worse...
And I hope Jeb at least has enough humanity to keep her away from Mariah and Noah
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c16 VampireRide
Do I ship Niggy? No. Does that change the fact that that was my favorite part of this whole chapter? Nope.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c15 VampireRide
"Ignoring various insults he was throwing at my back" I don't know why but I loved that line.
And no! Don't hurt Max. I'm freaking out. What's gonna happen? I don't know. Must read more.
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c14 VampireRide
I'm pretty sure admitting to child abuse leads to prison...
And I loved the third person with Nudge and Iggy. It's always nice to hear new perspectives.
I kinda wish when Max and Fang were in the park you would have actually had them have the conversation rather than just telling us what it was.
Oh, and I just followed you XD
Stay Majestic.
6/26/2015 c13 VampireRide
I feel like Fang's too hurt to go on a date at this moment...
But I like. Ms. Hudson. She's the only nice adult I've seen so far besides Max's mom
Stay Majestic
6/26/2015 c12 VampireRide
That's freaking horrible that that's a real site. How could somebody think that? It's three hundred percent disgusting.
I hope Fang runs away and stays away. I don't want him to get hurt anymore he doesn't deserve that.
Stay Majestic
6/25/2015 c11 VampireRide
So they've been kissing for (However long) and Max waits till the very end of the chapter to acknowledge the lip rings? oh my gosh.
And WHOA whoa WhOa, so Dylan is Iggy's brother AND the guy Max dated in the past? I hope they meet again. That would be interesting
Stay Majestic
6/25/2015 c10 VampireRide
I don't care if they've only known each other four days I love it and I ship it and I have chores to do but there's another chapter so oops sorry chores you have to wait. XD
Stay Majestic
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