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4/20/2014 c1 Guest
Ryu is the baby's half brother, not step brother. Step brother would be if Matsuda had the baby before marrying Abby. Well at least that's what I have always thought. Great story though. :)
1/1/2014 c1 peddie-obsessed1.0
Aww, this was so sweet. Who cares that it was quite unrealistic and very OOC? Isn't that what fanfiction's for? To express a writer's true opinions of the characters and add there own little jist to a short story... Anyway... I loved it!
12/31/2013 c1 deactivated01010101010
I'd hate to dampen your New Year's Day with a critical review but after reading this I'd just like to share my thoughts on it.

I think this was way too sappy given the subject matter and it doesn't offer anything I haven't seen at least a dozen times before. I didn't find it that convincing, mostly because of how you characterized Abigail's relationships with L and Matsuda. L came across to me as WAAAAY too loving and open. Personally I don't see him as the type to settle down and have kids. It wouldn't work with his lifestyle or even his personality. I'd imagine him to be a pretty horrible mate, or at the very least difficult. Solving cases is his life. He'd be hard-pressed to find someone who'd stick around that long, or even someone he'd WANT to stick around.

As for Matsuda the problem with him is that as with L you made it appear as though his job didn't put any kind of strain on his relationship with Abigail. He's a detective too, though not of the caliber that L is. Remember when Soichiro and Sachiko told him that Sayu was off-limits? It wasn't because they didn't like him, but because they don't want Sayu to suffer the heartache that comes from marrying a man who works in law enforcement, something they'd know of very well when Soichiro is a detective himself. I didn't see that in here. I think that would have been much more interesting to see.

Actually, this story mostly read as one long exposition on how Abigail got with Matsuda after L's death. Like a documentary or something. We don't see how exactly she developed her relationships with either man, or even what kind of person she herself is supposed to be. I don't feel the drama or angst or conflict that I think should have been here.

Thus, I am disappointed. Rather than feel joy and relief for her moving forward like I ought to, I feel more like, "Eh. So?"

If you'd like to discuss this any further, you know where to find me. Happy 2014.

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