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4/29/2014 c17 Fuyuriku
One line carried unto the next ... erm... scene of the story. Seeing as you can't copy-paste in Fanfiction any more I'll just type out the sentence that carried to the next scene.

"Shikamaru nodded, sighing in relief."

As that line carried over to the next scene where Kakashi was interrogating the Demon Brothers.

Besides that the chapter looked decent enough. Though I do have to agree with the other reviewer who commented that arresting someone just because they find someone suspicious is not really a valid reason for arrest. Maybe taking him to talk with their Hokage or reporting the suspicious behavior to the Hokage themselves. That will, of course, depend on what you intend to actually do with the follow-up and such, but just going by this it doesn't seem 'reasonable' to arrest someone on a whim.
4/29/2014 c17 madeyemoody95
Awesome chapter though I really don't think those would really be conclusive grounds to arrest someone...
4/23/2014 c16 alexweasleyblack
update please!
4/13/2014 c16 read a holic
lol, yes, people do read your story. I read your story every time you update silly person. and I tend to enjoy it too, though there are a few spelling or grammar issues. overall however I like the quality of your work and hope to see more chapters in the future. ...Oh, total read that wrong. Haha. Advice? hmm. Let me think. I think the best way to make a chapter longer is to add more detail regarding situations that happen and expand on it a lot, maybe like that situation that happened in the ramen stand during this chapter or so. You seem to get right to the point in your story which is good since you are able to get farther faster in the story and not get hung up on minutiae. However this take away some of the detail and length of the story which seems to be what you are going for right now. Also, since you are going away from the traditional path of the story, I suggest looking back on the last few chapters since you would be able to expand a great deal on the delicate working that have pulled team seven together. you could either express these in flash back or some other way if you want. flashbacks are good though. anyways, thank you and keep up the good work. :)
4/14/2014 c16 straykilled
Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you are amazing in what you do and I hope you that you won't stop writing :) Well, I'm not sure I can help you with your problem, but all I can say is it would be nice if you use your imagination more to describebe your surroundings or whatever vividly but dont over-describe if you know what i mean because it tends to make the story kinda boring. Ah Im bad at review forgive me...
4/11/2014 c16 Guest Kitsune
Love this story! Looking foreward to the next chapter! Keep up the awesome work! :)
4/11/2014 c9 SunglassesSkull
I think you've been reading too much fanfiction. The reason why so many fanfics make Kurama a girl is simply because most of the fanbase has a little fetish for female kitsune-morphs. It saddens me that it has reached the point where fans are really starting to seriously believe the Kyuubi is a woman.

Kurama's gender was never stated in canon so that is really up in the air. It's either genderless or a guy. I prefer to think of Kurama as genderless since there is no point of a biju having genders since they don't reproduce.
4/4/2014 c15 Lucy-sama
Well, Ayame being a fan girl? That's fun. And Sasuke and Naruto being like siblings to the father-like figure Konran.
I hope their relationship with each other will develop, it's a cool time travel fic.
4/4/2014 c15 Guest
supert history
4/3/2014 c15 Pyrokitty
Starts out rather dry and any humor is scarce. Thou it may just not be my type of humor. Also you seem to mix up events in the timeline. Like when the hokage mention the event of Naruto stealing the scroll durring the begining when later it was established it was years before the event and the Naruto from the future hasn't even talked to him yet to tell him of said event.
Over all it was a decent story, but it could be better. I would love it if you add yaoi to it, but it could still be good without it if it had a bit more drama, wackiness or more details on the adventuring. Haven't seen much adventuring either... A bit more focus on Konran(Naruto) to, his thoughts and emotions on moments where they might be interesting.
Hope your writing improves. I always love a good time travel, even if there's no yaoi in it.
4/5/2014 c15 madeyemoody95
Awesome chapter! And the why do I story sounds quiet hilarious! I really love the weird bond between Naruto and Sasuke!
4/3/2014 c15 Guest
It's a fantastic story!
4/2/2014 c15 sagar
The story is progressing quite nicely . Your writing skills have improved . Keep it up .
4/4/2014 c15 26Golden feathers Edward
This is a cool time travel fic. Love your writing style. XD
4/3/2014 c15 straykilled
Ahh I love this story please don't stop on writing because you are absolutely an amazing writer
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