By: Meta6184 and Loftwing1022

Chapter 1: The Bacon Chronicles

"What are you doing hiding out here?" said Tex to Maine.

"Nothing." Maine replied quickly, holding something behind his back.

Tex asked Maine "What is that?"

"Do I smell bacon?" Tucker said, poking his head into the room.

Maine went wide eyed and just stared at Tucker and said, "You don't get any moron." He closed the door to his room, leaving Tex and Maine alone in the kitchen.

Tex chased Maine through the base saying, "What? You have bacon? And you didn't share any with me?"

"What are you two bickering about?" Church asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Nothing," The two said in muffled unison and halted.

Tex raised her voice, "Maine, share the bacon!"

An alarm went off in the base. It was the special alarm that Church had installed for every time Caboose got into Shelia. It rang a lot.

Maine laughed "I guess you should go hide in the basement Church."

"Way ahead of you," He cried, already halfway to the basement.

Tex snuck up behind Maine as he was laughing at Church and grabbed the plate of bacon.

"Hey!" Maine exclaimed, dashing after Tex while she fled the base. "Bring back my delicious bacon! That's all I have for breakfast!"

Just before Tex got outside, she remembered that Caboose was in the tank and stopped at the door. Maine caught up to her and grabbed her.

Lifting her off the ground and said, "If you give it back I will share it with you, but we have to be fast before Tucker finds us again and tries to get some."


"What are they doing now?" Griff asked.

Simmons lowered the sniper rifle and replied in his usual slightly condescending tone, "I don't know, as much as I'd like to, I can't see through walls."

Donut came up on the roof and said. "Hey guys, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, "Griff replied, "Don't you have to go decorate the base, Pinky?"

"Yeah" Simmons chimed in.

"It's lightish red!" Donut exclaimed and slinked off muttering. "Rudeā€¦ I am obviously an Apple Jack, not a Pinkie Pie."


"I get 5 pieces, Maine," Tex declared.

"But then there will only be two pieces left," Maine protested.

"You already had three," Tex said.

"Caboose might possibly blow me up again, and you two are arguing about bacon?" Church inquired.

"Not everything is about you, you know," Tex replied.

Maine snarled and threw his combat knife at Church. The knife buried itself deep in the wall next to where his head would be.

"Son of a bitch!" Church exclaimed.


"Sheila, what is that sound?" Caboose asked the tank.

"That is the alarm system Church installed last week to alert the blue base if someone is attacking it," The vehicle replied.

"Oh no, I must help my best friend! Where is he?" Caboose asked while exiting the tank

"My scans indicate that he is in the base. Caboose, but I do not advise you going in there." Sheila replied.

"No! Sheila, I must help my best friend!" Caboose said to the tank while grabbing a rocket launcher from the tanks auxiliary weapon holder.

Caboose ran into blue base. Church and Maine in the middle of a fist fight with Tex trying to break them up. Tex noticed Caboose out of the corner of her eye and ran around the corner screaming, "OH SHIT! RUN!"

Church and Maine immediately stopped fighting to see what was wrong and saw Caboose.

Church ran away crying "No! Not again!"

"DAMMIT! WHO GAVE HIM THAT?" Maine bellowed.

Caboose cried, "Get away from Church you bully!" He fired a rocket at Maine.

Maine activated his bubble shield armour ability. The rocket bounced off the shield and flew off down a hallway.

There was an explosion and everyone in the base could hear Church scream, "SON OF A BITCH!"

Maine turned off his shield and Tex rounded the corner to check the damage. Down the hallway was a massive black burn mark on the wall and Church's body.

Tucker walked over to the body and said, "Hey Church, where's your bottom half?" Just as Church re-entered his body.

Church looked at his feet and screamed "Where are my legs?! CABOOSE YOU IDIOT!"

Where Church's legs should have been laid only a pile of motor oil and the knee pad from his armour.

"That wasn't my fault," Caboose said, casting away the rocket launcher.

"Yeah it fucking was!" Church recoiled. "If I still had my legs I would already be strangling you!"

"Do think you can fix him, Tex?" Tucker asked.

"Me?" Tex replied. "Why is it suddenly my responsibility to fix everyone else's problems?"

"So you can't fix him?" Maine said while raised an eyebrow

"Of course I can fix him!" replied a very frustrated Tex.


"Lopez!" Donut called through the base.

"Si?" He rolled out from under the jeep he was fixing.

"Where is everyone?" Donut asked.

"They went to blue base to investigate the alarm that went off," Lopez replied in Spanish. "It was pretty hard to miss."

"Maybe they went to blue base," Donut said, not understanding what Lopez had said. "To see what all the ruckus was about."


"Not gnomes, ruckus," Donut chirped. "You robots are so silly sometimes."

He climbed into the Chupathingy and took off. "See you later Lopez," He called over his shoulder.

"He'd better not break that," Lopez said when Donut was gone.


"I can't fix him." Tex said

"What?! Why not?" Church questioned.

"Maybe it's because you're a real dick sometimes, Church" Maine stated.

"You just said you could!" Tucker said.

"What is all the ruckus about?" Inquired Sister, just having woken up. "Whoa, what happened to him?"

"Blarg?" Junior looked around the base and ran to Tucker.

"I still hate you," Sister said to Junior.

Junior slipped in the puddle of motor oil and landed on his stomach.

"That also wasn't my fault," Caboose added.

"Hey Tucker, your kid is falling on his hands and knees for me," Sister said while grinning.

"Honk!" Junior recoiled.

"Yeah, he looks like you do on Friday nights," Tucker replied with a wink.

"Bow chicka honk honk," Junior chimed in.

"Oh please," Sister laughed.

"That was kind of lame, Tucker," Church muttered.

"What is all the ruckus about, guys?" Donut peeked around the corner.

"Oh God, not him."

"What do you want, Red?" Tucker frowned. He raised his rifle.

"Whoa h-hey," Donut held up his hands, backing up. "Lopez said my team came over here."

"Well, they didn't," Tucker aimed his gun at Donut's head. "Now MOVE IT!"

"Okay! Okay..." He backed out if the base.

"What was that?" Church asked.

"I know, he-"

"He meant you Tucker," Tex cut him off with a glare that could be felt through her helmet.

Tucker lowered the rifle, trying to find a reasonable answer, but found none.

"Are we for the Reds now?" Tucker replied.

Maine took his helmet off and ran his hands through his ginger hair, scratching his scalp.

"I'm going to scout the area." Maine sighed.

He felt slightly bad for Church, seeing as Church had protected Tex more than once while he was out fighting. When his judgement was clouded by the many AI in his mind. Where he was more machine than man. He still had scars from an energy sword that an elite had stabbed through the right side of his chest. He broke the elite's neck without even flinching.

"So who is going to fix my body?" Church asked after Maine had left.

"I will, just need some parts that were destroyed," Tex knelt down to re-examine the severed legs of Church body.

"How long will it take?" Caboose asked.

"I don't know Caboose, Church will be fine," Tex said in a calming voice. "Don't worry."

"Oh..." Caboose replied. "I'm sorry Church. I didn't want you to get hurt."

"Yeah, well..." Church sighed. "Just- just go away before you mess me up more."

Caboose bowed his head and walked out of the base.


Donut returned from blue base, dragging his feet like a depressed teenager.

"So I guess they just left me then," He muttered to himself. He spotted Lopez and saunter over to him.

"Hey Lopez."

"What do you want?"

"Can I ask you something?"


"Thanks," Donut replied. "Where did the others actually go? Did they tell you to tell me they were at blue base?"

"They told me nothing, I assumed that was where they were going," Lopez said, puzzled


Maine's radio blared to life. Tex was trying to reach him.

"Maine, I need you to steal the red team's warthog, we need the parts to fix Church's legs."

"Okay, I'll get it, but no guarantees it will come back in one piece," Maine replied.

"Just try and get it back in the best condition you can," Tex told Maine.

"I'll try that Tex; just count on it will be able to drive ever again," Maine snickered.

"Oh, and be careful Maine," Tex said in a soft voice.

"Is that caring I hear?" Maine replied.

"Shut up you big brute," Tex said in her normal, sassy tone.

"Whatever you say, sweetcheeks," Maine smirked.

"Ugh, Tex over and out," She rolled her eyes and hung up.

Maine tucked his brute shot onto his back, turned on his active camouflage unit and sprinted to red base. Half way there, his camouflage suddenly flickered and died, leaving him exposed to the Reds.

"Hey Griff! Is that Maine running at our base?" Simmons asked.

"Uh... Yeah we should go run and hide in the bunker," Griff replied.

"I don't think so! I'm hitting the base alarm"," Simmons replied.

Griff sighed and said, "I'll get in the hog. You go get Sarge."

Maine could hear the Reds' base alarm from the canyon and he could see the lazy orange one and the seasoned red one approaching the warthog.

He took cover behind a rock, seeing as it was the only close item that could withstand the machine gun long enough to survive for the five minutes that it would take for Tex to come and chase them away.

Just then he realised that if she saved him he would never hear the end of it. He turned on his over shield, grabbed the brute shot from his back and began running at the warthog. The hog's gun was peppering his shields with bullets. When he was five feet away from it he threw his brute shot at Griff who was driving the hog at the moment.

Griff shouted, "SON OF A BITCH!"

With the two and a half foot long blade inches away from his face, it got buried deep in the windshield. He stopped the hog, got out, and fired his rifle at Maine to no avail.

Maine's armor was telling him that his shield still had enough power to survive a rocket blast so he kept advancing. He noticed his over shields had flared and died just like his active camoflauge. He needed to fix whatever was wrong with his armour when he got back.

Maine rolled behind a nearby rock and shouted at the Reds, "Is that all you got!?"

Maine knew he couldn't destroy the hog, but he needed Sarge off the gun so he could move.

Maine looked around for something he could use as a weapon seeing as his brute shot was still in the windshield of the hog. He saw a rock about the size of a grenade and he threw it up and down in his hands before he turned around. He threw it into Sarge's helmet.


Maine turned around the rock and ran at Griff when he heard a loud bang and there was a pain in the right side of his lower abdomen. He retreated behind the rock.

He looked down. There was a hole in his armour and he was bleeding a fair amount. He had been shot by Simmons, who was still on Red base with the sniper rifle.

"Oh my god! I actually hit him!"

He activated his radio and called Tex

"Tex, I'm pinned down. Simmons got me with a sniper can you get here quick?"

"He actually hit you?" Tex said surprised. "I'll be there ASAP. Hold tight."

"Yeah, it went low though. I was focused on the orange one. Can you help me I'm losing lots of blood" Maine said

"Yes, just hold on," Tex replied in urgency.

The 30 seconds it took for Tex to arrive felt like an hour to Maine in the first couple seconds. Griff and Sarge turned the corner and started to close in on him in hand to hand. Maine knew he could hold them off long enough. Sarge turned around the corner first Maine surprised him by grabbing the shotgun from his hands and hitting him in the chest with it. Griff came next with his battle rifle. Maine used the shotgun like a bat to hit the rifle away from Griff and threw the shotgun away and held the two off. Sarge got up and punched Maine in the bullet wound in his side. Griff began to punch him in the head.

Maine was getting woozy from the blood loss. He fell down and covered his head.

Tex came over the hill just to see Maine fall. She ran at the two reds screaming at the pop of her lungs.

Griff and Sarge turned and said at the same time, "Oh shit..."

Tex threw her combat knife into Griff's knee, burying it to the handle. Griff fell screaming in pain.

She ran at Sarge with her fists up and began to punch him furiously. He was bordering unconsciousness when she let up and let him fall to the ground. She looked at Maine and saw how much blood he lost. He was in shock. She picked him up to the best of her abilities and slung his arm over around her neck and over her shoulder. Tex dragged him into the warthog she placed him in the passenger seat and she heard the bang of a sniper rifle she rolled to her right and pulled out her pistol and fired three shots at Simmons.

Simmons screamed, "Son of a bitch!" She sprinted over to the warthog and stopped halfway to it and turned around to the crying Griff. He was trying to pull the knife out of his leg and was crying like a baby. She walked over to him and kneeled next to him and pulled the knife out.

Griff screamed between tears, "You... Bitch."

Tex looked at his face and said in a soft tone, "Poor baby. Here, I'll make the pain stop."

She stood up and kicked him in the balls and Griff screamed like a small child.

"Oh please."

Tex punched him in the head, knocking him out cold.

She got back into the warthog and drove Maine back to blue base.

I hoped you liked the first chapter. I don't know how fast we can get the other chapters up, so bear with us. If you liked please leave a review. Your feedback is very much appreciated. Have an awesome day!