Disclaimer: Never owned Harry Potter and sadly, I never will :(
Mr and Mrs Mason were your average muggle couple. David Mason being a respectable businessman whilst Judith Mason was a nurse in the next town over, this however wasn't well known among the gossip webs of little whinging.
David sighed as he pulled off his bulky coat and hung it on the coat rack. Walking into their newly redone kitchen, he switched the kettle on. He ignored the blaring sound of the vacuum from upstairs. David quickly made a cup of tea, before sitting in his favourite armchair (the comfiest seat in the house) in the lounge. He sat there for a while, sipping his just-a-tad weak tea and rubbing his aching temples occasionally. David didn't notice his wife behind him until she slowly massaged his tense shoulders.
"Sorry I didn't greet you, dear. I didn't hear you come in."
David smiled reassuring her that it was fine. "How was your day?" He asked kindly.
Judith moved to the sofa to the left of the chair. "Not too bad. We had a lady come in demanding painkillers but that was probably the most exciting thing all day. Peggy and Sue are fine and we are going to lunch together on Sunday in that new gastro pub a couple of miles away."
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, just listening to the sound of the wood pigeons cooing and the loud tick-tocking of the clock on the mantelpiece. David sighed abruptly- there was no point beating around the bush. "I'm sorry love. Gail told me we have to attend a dinner party."
Here Judith turned- this was not good, "With the Dursleys?" Judith groaned, " I don't see why we have to visit those awful people." She complained. She despised the Dursleys, always sucking up to them and insisted on calling David and her by their surname. "Why can't your boss go, it's her company?"
David frowned. "Because Gail is a woman-" "How dare-" Judith interrupted.
"You know I don't think like that but unfortunately Vernon does. You know his beliefs on women," he answered angrily, " besides Gail has already said we will."
So this was how the Masons were forced to participate in yet another dreadfully boring business dinner with the Dursleys.
As the Masons arrived at he identical houses of privet drive, Judith caught a glimpse of black hair. She thought this odd but shrugged it off as a trick of imagination. The Dursleys were all blondes (even if Petunia's came out of a bottle). Judith and David glanced at each other as if to brace themselves before stepping out of the car.
Ignoring the sound of Dudley shouting for the world to hear that they were here and whining about having to stay with the 'boring people'. David knocked firmly on the door twice. Judith stood awkwardly behind her husband, as they were made to wait out side when she could clearly hear them waiting on the other side of the door for an acceptable time to pass. (Roughly two minutes for the Dursleys).
The door opened finally and fake smiles were fixed in place. David of course was greeted first as there was a clear hierarchy in the Dursley residence. Dudley -a whale of a boy who needed a diet if he wanted to survive- offered to take their coats, pausing every couple of words, probably trying to remember his lines.
The Masons were led into the lounge, where Petunia lied in wait. Decorated with grandmother style decor of doilies and faded floral prints, the lounge looked tired, The sofa plastic coated in a way that you did one thing out of place rather rude sounds were made. All in all it was one of those places where you were afraid to move in case you broke or spilled anything.
Although the smells coming from the kitchen were pleasant enough, the strong scent of cleaning products rather enforced the idea of a show home.
The lingering irritation was quickly becoming difficult to keep off their faces as they heard yet another 'joke' that only Petunia laughed shrilly at.
"So Mr Mason, I hear you're a member of the Gladstone springs golf club?" Vernon asked politely.
"Indeed, although I have to say I haven't been able to go as frequently as of late."
"That silly woman overworking you again?" David was about to deny this but Vernon continued. "That's why women shouldn't be working, have no idea what's going on. Our wives our most suited for staying at home, of course this is why you are the true boss of Bosingers."
"Our priority should be to look after the children and keep the home not some nonsense about careers." Petunia added disdainfully.
Judith swallowed the indignant response to the bigotry that spewed out of their mouths, fixing a larger smile on her face that perhaps had too many teeth showing.
A conversation that followed that comment was interrupted by a muffled 'wailing' sound coming from upstairs. Vernon got a strange look on his face as he glanced at his wife. The Masons discreetly looked at each other, eyebrows raised - this was new, and was already the most interesting dinner they've had so far in the last 7 years.
Petunia gazed at the ceiling for a few seconds, frowning. But she quickly excused herself to check on the food.
"Wonderful wife my Petunia is, she-" a thump and a shouting sound interrupted.
Petunia grimaced having returned to the parlour (which was really a living room) before she smiled tightly, "Dinner is served."
"I do love your dress Mrs mason, where did you get it?" The Masons resigned themselves to yet another dull of evening of small talk, bland dinner and sickly pudding. This of course, would be followed by making a severely biased business deal before they could finally leave once more.
The food was the same as always, although the Masons were rather disappointed that when a sound was heard, Vernon just boomed louder. For once there was silence as clearly Vernon was wound up by the mysterious noises to be focused on meaningless conversation that he had given up on near the end of dinner. They were dragged back into the living room as Petunia cleared the table ready for the dessert to come. By this point Vernon had got back into the swing of things as no noises were heard for a while.
"...The businessman shouted out what the girl had the night before. The Japanese golfer-"
They were saved from yet another racist joke when thump and wailing sound was the loudest it had been all night. Vernon's face turned an ugly beetroot red, his eyes bulging and chins wobbling with rage. He forced a terrifying grin on his blotched face. "Dudley must have left his television on again, the little tyke!" Ruffling Dudley's hair as he moved into the hallway and stomped up the stairs.
Vernon's voice exploded from above, words indistinguishable yet the tone was clear. Petunia smiled a little oddly and ushered them into the lounge where the noise was quieter. Dudley meanwhile, thought this was the perfect time to speak. "We had to write 'n essay about our hero at school, Mr Mason and I wrote about you."
Hiding a grimace, David forced out a smile. "Thank you Dudley, although I doubt anyone could be a better role model for you, than that of your father." Petunia smiled proudly at this, whilst Dudley had stopped listening and was now trying to subtly grab his Gameboy from the magazine rack beside him.
Vernon returned and there were no more interruptions as the two men talked business (or more to the point, David avoided being swindled)
Light taps were heard only by Judith as she desperately tried to hear anything but Petunia's drivel about Mr Potts watering his garden in a hosepipe ban. She was saved when Vernon interrupted, "Do tell Petunia that very funny story about those American plumbers, Mr Mason, she's been dying to hear all about it, I tried to retell it but..."
She heard a light unfamiliar "no", some indistinguishable voices in the background emanating from the kitchen. Judith closed her eyes listening harder, before something cold and creamy dropped on her head.
Shivering at what she now identified as cake dripped down her back, she turned to look at the newest arrival. Her eyes took in an underfed boy wearing overly baggy clothes with the odd hole in them.
"...Our nephew, he is very disturbed, so we didn't have him at the dinner he..." Meeting horrified green eyes as Vernon advanced threateningly towards him.
She wondered why Vernon had finally gone silent, when she saw the owl at the window. It may have been interesting but Judith had had enough. Putting an intense look of fear she fled from the house screaming, stopping when she reached the car as David had the keys.
David knew his wife hated these dinners, and they finally had an excuse so both of them wouldn't have to go to them anymore.
"Is this your idea of a joke? My wife is deadly afraid of birds of all types and sizes!" He turned and walked quickly out of the house opened the car doors and drove away from the Dursleys.
He smiled as they arrived home and she cleaned off the rest of the cake. "I'll tell Gail that we won't be going to the Dursley's dinners anymore."
Perhaps if they had remembered the scrawny boy who allowed them this new freedom, he would have had a different life. But then again he was Harry Potter so maybe not.
Just a little one shot which popped into my head. I know I still haven't updated Vampires and Wizards but I have absolutely no inspiration for it at the moment. I do however have a few more stories and one shot ideas, that may or may not be published.
Thanks for reading,