So guys here is my longest chapter so far!
I hope you are going to enjoy it!
Oh and the whole story is unbetad!
I slowly stretch as I enjoy the sun beams on my face. It's such a nice warm feeling. I stand up and make my way through my daily morning routine. As I finish my breakfast I look outside the window. I can see a brown blur disappearing in the woods. Jacob. A smile spreads on my face as I watch the wolf reappear only to disappear again. Hmm…
I tilt my head to the side and watch the wolf repeat the same movement over and over.
Before finally disappearing completely from view. How strange…
Deciding that he won't come back I stand up and go fetch my bag. I walk up the stairs and let my eyes wander as I go. It has been some time since I have been released from the hospital now. I haven't been in school yet since my father insisted, that I should rest some more.
I frown as I remember his reaction. He was so worried about me. I still feel guilty for worrying him, even though I know I couldn't have helped it. I stop as I reach the room Charlie has given to me. It's the same one I used to sleep in when I was younger. I like it. It's all nice and comfortable. Has everything I need and I can look at the forest from my window.
Don't get me wrong, I don't like Forks all that much. It's too rainy and too cold. I miss the sun and the hot days in Arizona, but it can't be helped. I promised to come here and I wouldn't destroy the sweet little bubble,that Renèe managed to build up by going back. She was so happy with Phil. I don't want to take that from her. Not for anything. She deserves to be happy, even if that means that I am not…
A slow smile spread across my face as I see my notebook lying on the desk. It's my most treasured possession. Not because of the book itself, but because of the content. Every time I have a new dream of themI write it in my notebook. I always make sure to add the date to each entry so that I can see, if they get more frequent. I can remember the first time I saw them so clearly. I was just a child then, but my feelings were the same. When I told my mother about the dreams she smiled at me and gave me my notebook. She said, that I should write everything in there, because maybe the dreams were more than I thought they were. I didn't understand, what she meant at that time, but I took it seriously. I was certain, that it was important since my mother spoke seriously, which was highly uncommon for her. I smile again as I think of my highly flighty mother. I love her. I really do, but sometimes I really wish she could be a little more serious once in a while.
I press the notebook to my chest and quickly put it into my bag. Letting my fingers caress the cover one more time. It is a beautiful book with a clearing as a cover. A bright lively forest surrounds the clearing emphasizing the beautiful flowers in the middle even more. I loved it at first sight. My mother once told me, that it was a unique cover made by an unknown artist. She said one of her artist friends found it and gave it to her as a present. It was quite an old notebook, but that only gave it more character. I look at it for one last time before closing my bag and going downstairs fetching the keys and my jacket on the way to the door. I swiftly put my jacket on to shield me from the rain before I look up into the sky. It rains. What a way to start a day. I sigh before turning around and making my way to my new truck. I throw my bag on the passenger seat before climbing into the car and closing the door behind me.
The road is completely empty as I drive in silence. I carefully look around so that I don't miss the sign for my school. Not that it was possible to get lost in this little town, but I was careful to make sure I didn't need to drive back. I glance from the road to the cloudy sky and sigh again. It's really depressing, that it had to rain on the first day I went to school. As if the stares, that would surely come, weren't bad enough. I shudder as I think about all these unwanted attention, I was going to be showered with. So many prying eyes, that would try to figure out all my secrets. All my flaws. I shudder again. Oh how I despised to be the 'new girl'. It has never brought me anything good. It always just means being stared at as if I was an alien or a freak of some sort. I shudder again as I realize, that it's going to be so much worse to be the 'new girl' in a small town like Forks. Probably they had rarely transfer students, if ever at all. Most likely the only transfers they had, where from Forks to other cities.
I take in a slow breath as I drive onto the small parking area and find myself a spot as far away from the other cars as possible. I close my eyes for a moment preparing myself for the horrors that are going to await me on the other side of the door. I step out of the car and open my eyes just to find myself mesmerized with the beautiful individuals, that are on the other side of the parking lot. They lean against a silver Volvo and talk quietly to each other. As I take a step away from the car I can see them looking at me and freeze. I carefully look over their faces. There is a blond beauty at the right side of the car, who glares at me indifferently. Beside her there is a bear of a human his eyes warm and a grin on his lips as he says something to the beauty beside him. In front of the passenger side of the car there is a man with reddish hair his eyes are drawn together in a frown. He looks confused and says something to the others, who look in my direction too. I let my eyes wander again until they rest on a small petite woman with short brown hair. She looks at me with venomous eyes before tugging on the sleeve of someone beside her. I can't see him, because the car is blocking my few, but a see a bit of blonde hair waving in the wind. I look at it with unfocused eyes. This hair reminds me of something. I stare for a few more moments before I am harshly brought out of my musing by flashlights in front of my eyes. I blink and look down at an overly enthusiastic guy.
"Hey! My name is Eric Yorkie. I am part of the newspaper club at our school. Your photo is going to be on the front page of the next example. Finally something new after all this boring stuff we had to write about! You don't mind do you?"
Without waiting for an answer he tugs on my hand and drags me towards the entrance of the school.
"I can just see it in front of me a huge article just about you. Our new transfer student and how she came to Forks. It's going to be so amazing."
"Umm…hello I am Bella and no newspaper article please. I don't want to be in your school paper."
I see his face fall as I am finally able to blink the stars away. Eric has short dark hair and a bright smile on his face. He is just a bit taller than me and holds his camera tight in his clutch.
"Not even one photo?"
I shake my head as he looks depressed for a moment. Than his face brightens again.
"I know! Can I show you around the school? I can introduce you to the other students on the way. That's not going to be a problem, is it?"
He looks at me hopefully and I sigh. Accepting his offer. I loop back to the parking area as we climb the stairs and listen to Eric only with half an ear. I nod absent-mindedly and exchange pleasantries as he introduces me to some students. Mike for example. He has an equally enthusiastic character as Eric, but he seems to like to mess with him. With a whoosh he has Mike's camera and is on his way Eric hot on his tail. I look after my self-exclaimed guide and look around confused for a moment. Shrugging I turn around the corner and go towards the door Eric pointed out for me before he made his hurried exit. I take my time exchanging pleasantries with the secretary before she hands me my schedule and sends me on my way. The lessons seem to take longer and longer each time I enter a classroom. The stars, whispers and introductions nearly getting too much for me. I duck my head after yet another student whispers about me behind my back and concentrate on the girl beside me. She has introduced herself as Jessica and seems to be intent on getting every little detail about my life written down in her memory. She informs me about all kind of rumours and tells me, that she is the best person to ask, if there is something you need to know about another student. I look at her a bit confused as her mouth never seems to take a break. Working non-stop to get all the words out of her system at once. I have stopped understanding her a few minutes ago, but she still goes on and on and on. Never seeming to realize, that I have stopped following her every word. I let my eyes wander again and find myself staring out of the window. Watching the rain drops drum against the glass of the window. I think about Angela a girl, who I have met in my last lesson. She seems really nice and understanding. I am sure I will get along with her just fine. She seems to be a happy person. I like that.
After the end of the class I make my way towards the cafeteria in a daze. Still lost in my thoughts I don't really pay attention to where I am going just follow Jessica around. I nearly bump into her as she stops near the line for the food. Waiting patiently for her turn to select her lunch. I look around the cafeteria looking for somebody I know. Nearly immediately Eric is by my side and waits for me to get my food before he drags me to a table full of the people I already met. He introduces me to them again before placing me in the seat next to him. But before he can sit Mike shoves his seat away and watches Eric fall onto the ground. Soon another chase starts and I look after them surprised.
As I feel somebody stare at me I turn my head and see the same people from this morning again. They seat at a table next to the window far away from the other students. I look over their faces again and notice the reddish haired one is staring at me again with the same frown as this morning in the parking lot.
"They are the Cullens" I hear Jessica say from beside me. "they are all family. Their father – Dr. Cullen – seems to like play match-maker and so put his adopted children into pairs. They red-brown haired one" she points at the one with the frown "is Edward Cullen. He is the only single. But don't get your hopes up" at this point she makes a face "he thinks he is too good for everyone." Probably he didn't accept her as his girlfriend. I nod to myself and wait for her to continue. "The one with the dark hair, who looks like a work out trainer is Emmet Cullen he is together with Rosalie Hale" She pointed at the beauty beside muscle guy. "The small girl with the short brown hair is Alice Cullen." She pointed at the girl, who firmly glared at me. "And beside her is Jasper Hale." She points to the guy next to the dark haired girl. I look in the direction in which she points and gasp. He has bright blond hair, which curl around his face. His face is flawless and pale. I find myself staring as I see his eyes. Oh he has such beautiful eyes. They are the color of honey. Sweet and alluring. They seem to drag me into their depths. As I lose myself in this captivating eyes. My whole body prickles as I focus only on him. Forgetting everything around me. This eyes. This beautiful, beautiful eyes. They are so familiar. So familiar. Yeah, I remember this eyes. This are the eyes of him. Yeah, his eyes. This are his eyes.
I can feel myself getting up as my feet automatically want to go in his direction. I have found him. I have finally found one of them. Finally! Finally we can be together! A grin spreads across my face and my hand automatically goes up, wants to touch him, to caress him. Oh how much I want him to touch me. To hug me. To tell me, that I will never be alone again. Never feel lonely again. That we will find the other one together.
That we will be together. Just me and them. For-
"He is together with Alice."
I freeze completely. Stop every movement my eyes still captivated within his. I stare at him. Pain filling my whole body. And I just want to break down. I want to sob and cry and say it's not true. I want to bang my head on the table and hope to never wake up again. But I can only stare. Stare at him and beg him with my eyes, that it's not true.
Oh please tell me you didn't do this. Tell me it's a lie. Please. Oh please. I can see him put his hand down on the table intending to stand up, but the girl beside him – Alice – puts her hand on his arm. He stops in this movement and looks at her. She says something. He nods slowly and stands up. When he has his back to her she looks at me. Her eyes crystal clear. Her eyes bore into mine before she nods her head and forms some words with her lips. Then she smiles devilish in my direction and turns toward him. She stands up too and walks out of the glass door of the cafeteria closing the door behind them. I can feel tears build behind my suddenly closed eyes as my mind replays her mouthed words over and over. I suppress a soft and stand up. I barely manage to form an apology towards the others before going out of the cafeteria. Her words replaying over and over again.
"He is mine…. Mine…. Mine… Mine." I support myself against a wall as the words seem to rip my heart apart. I feel numb as tears roll down my cheeks. A silent sob shaking my whole body. Why? Why? Oh why? After I finally found you… why…? I thought we could finally be together... I thought I could be whole again…
Don't you want me? Am I…not good enough?