A/N: I'm not sure what this wants to be when it grows up. But for now, it's a few limericks on the key plot points of P&P. Is this a spoof? Is this a serious attempt? Should I make it dirty (as limericks are wont to be)? I have absolutely no idea. I thought I'd just throw it out there. And I'm open for stanza suggestions. I can give other writers credit for their stanzas in footnotes. Rated T for the time being to give myself some room.

I published this a few hours ago, and already I've made a bunch of changes. So this represents a different and updated chapter 1.

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CHAPTER ONE: Netherfield Park Is Let At Last

Universally acknowledged, the truth:
A single man still in his youth,
Has good fortune in life?
He's in want of a wife!
Austen's gospel, I say, forsooth.

Let us meet the souls in our tale.
The Bennets, from Longbourne they hail.
They've five daughters in tow,
"Must marry, don't you know!"
Mrs. Bennet often would wail.

The Missus dedicates her life
Each daughter she must make a wife
To stay out of hedgerows
When Mr. Bennet goes
"Oh, my poor nerves fill me with strife!"

Father's an intelligent man
Hiding out whenever he can
Youngest girls are so silly
His wife's nerves willy nilly
But much love he has for his clan

Of the daughters Jane is the first
So much beauty, won't she just burst?
She is loving and shy
Just as sweet as plum pie
Of people she'll ne'er think the worst

Next is our favorite, Miss Lizzy
Reading keeps her mind quite busy
"I will marry for love!"
"I do swear, Lord above!"
Her wit makes most people dizzy

Somber Mary is next in line
Simple Kitty giggles behind
Young Lydia, she's the flirt
Twaddle, she likes to blurt
"I must have my way!" she does whine

Two young men to Netherfield come
Attend party in Meryton
Charlie's smile, sweet and bright
Darcy broods from great height
Their fortunes decidedly plum

Charles spies Jane across the big room
Right away his heart goes, "Boom! Boom!"
"Jane, shall we take a spin?"
Oh, her heart can I win?
An offer, the townsfolk assume

Charles asks, "Darcy, please take a twirl."
"There's Lizzy. She's quite a fine girl!"
Darce refused her a dance
He sure missed his chance
Now fine eyes have his mind in a whirl

Lizzy thought Darcy too proud
"Not tempting," he said, right out loud
Our dear Lizzy was near
The vile slur she did hear
"Ne'er dance with him!" Lizzy avowed