A/N: So, I've had this songfic I needed to write, and it is definitely not canon to my story, but it is a "what if" moment.
O death, O death, O death
Won't you spare me over til another year
But what is this that I can't see,
With Ice cold hands taking hold of me?
It's over. I lost her. I lost my reason, my only reason for living. She's gone. Katniss is gone. Dead.
(Because you failed her. You saw what was coming but you didn't stop her, you didn't catch her, you didn't save her.)
It was all going so well. We were almost to the President's mansion in the center of the Capitol, ready to take our revenge for everything that he's done to us. My family would have been able to rest, Lise would only be a memory and not a weight, the dead of Twelve would be gone, Finnick's torture would be answered, but... at the gates everything went to shit.
When God is gone and the devil takes hold,
Who will have mercy on your soul?
The children trying to escape were given parachutes, the kind that we treasured in the arena for the gifts they brought. No one questioned it, it was the fucking Capitol for chrissakes, no one would ever betray them right? That's what we thought too, until they started to explode. Bodies were lying everywhere, blood painted the survivors, walls were stained, families torn apart. A hover with medivac colors arrived on the scene and nurses started to pour into the masses to help the wounded. Then we saw her: Prim was there. I knew then what was coming, what would happen, but I wasn't fast enough. The rest of the parachutes burst and liquid fire poured out, lighting the darling child of the Capitol like a torch, and my Katniss with her when she dove to save the sister who was already flying away.
O Death, O Death, O Death,
No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold
Nothing satisfies me but your soul
I watched them burn. I screamed, I raged, I swore death and vengeance on whoever did this, but... I couldn't save them either. I was powerless, and I fucking hated it. I watched as they burned together, and I shattered again and again and again... and again. I watched as my lover, my beloved, burned to a crisp with the sister that loved us both so much.
Well I am Death, none can excel,
I'll open the door to heaven or hell.
I made sure they paid. I made sure they all paid, but now the dead that I had to carry could never be set free by the death of Snow, or Coin, or any number of other bodies that should have hit the ground. The one I wanted to kill the most when I learned who made the bombs was Gale fucking Hawthorne, but I think I found a better punishment. He has to live with the lives that he took, that his precious little monsters stole from us all. And more than that? He has to live with having killed me too.
I take a breathe and cry my last tears, knowing that wherever I am about to go, it can't be worse than the life I lead now. I hope though... oh gods how I hope... I hope that where I go, I will see Katniss again. That I will see my family again. That dying will not be in vain, that giving up and running away from this pain will be for something, that it'll mean something, that it'll have a purpose. I eye the note on the table, my messy lettering scrawling out 'Finnick', then kick the chair away and fight to just go limp when the noose tightens around my throat. CRACK. Success.
O Death, O Death,
My name is Death and the end is here...