9LOCAL LEGENDS of LONGBOURN
Mrs. Bennet is a nervous sort
Mr. B vexes her for the sport
"My poor nerves," she mutters
With trembles and flutters.
"You don't know what I suffer!" she snorts.
Mr. Bennet, he has a wry wit
He thinks his youngest daughters are twits
Books and port are his life
He makes fun of his wife
Mr. Bennet is kind of a sh*t
The most beautiful is our dear Jane
Mama plotted to get her a swain
She got soaked and then sick
Now she is Bingley's chick
The moral is get caught in the rain
Of the daughters, Lizzy is second
"Not pretty like Jane," Mama reckons
"Far too sharp is her tongue.
"Who will have her? No one!"
But Will thinks her favors do beckon
Mary is a girl quite serious
Thoughts of sin make her delirious
I shall give her advice,
"Reading sermons Fordyce
"Is, to finding a spouse, injurious."
Lydia is a bit of a flirt
George Wickham likes to chase after skirts
So he takes her – not wise!
Her virtue compromised
They must marry, bad 'rep' to avert
Sister Kitty is Lyddie's best friend
On following Lyd's lead she depends
But Lydia's been bad
She ran off with a cad
So no big balls for kitty to attend
A/N: Next up, Darcy, the Bingleys and of course, lots more Lizzy later. (See now I'm having an alliteration fixation. Ack.) And I have not completely abandoned 'Limericks of Lizzy', it's just on short term hiatus.