A/N: I'm baaaaacccccckkkk! ^_^ So, the good news is: I passed my test! You guys have no idea how happy I am that I passed it. I'm also on winter break now so hopefully I'll be able to update on a weekly basis again. I really want to thank you all for being so supportive while I was M.I.A for the past couple months. I also want to let you guys know that I've made a few music videos for this fic and the link to them is on my profile. Feel free to check them out and leave some comments letting me know what you think. :D I've also featured LittleGee's OC, Mackenzie Bolton, from her fic 'To Hell With It' in a couple of them. You guys should also check out her trailers (the link to them is on her profile) as well. They're amazing!

Oh, and one more thing I want to tell you guys is that I will be switching POVs between Lydia and Anastasia a couple times in this chapter. You'll see why when you read it.

MysticGohan88 – Thanks! Well, I won't give too much away, but I can promise you that James and Anastasia will not have a sad ending.


Once James, Seth, and I changed out of our vomit covered clothes (James loaned Seth a gray sweat suit and I changed into a black camisole, a black leather jacket, black slashed pants, and black ankle boots). Then we dragged Jonah's unconscious body upstairs, and, using a few of James's belts and my scarves, we tried him to the bed. However, when Jonah stated to wake up, we were all quick to get the hell out of there.

We all ended up hiding in James's library, trying to figure out a logical explanation to Jonah's possession, even though Jay, Lydia and I already knew the answer.

"This shit's cray-cray, guys," Seth whispered. "I mean… it's like the apocalypse. It's like the book of Revelations. Like, that means there's a God, right? I haven't led my life as though there's a God this whole time, who fuckin' saw that coming? That there's actually a God?"

"I'd say… ninety-five percent of the planet," Jay said.

"This really isn't the time to be a wiseass, Jay," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Seth sighed.

"You might want to stay away from saying that," Craig advised.

"Jesus fucking Christ?" he repeated. "Why?" The rest of us scolded him for repeated it, and Jay and Lydia both made cross signs over their chests.

"Because you're not supposed to take the Lord's name in vain," I replied. "It's one of the Ten Commandments."

"Jesus isn't the name of the Lord," Seth argued. "God is the name of the lord."

"There isn't much of a difference," Lydia piped up. "I come from a Catholic family, so I know more about this than you think."

"Jesus and God. It's all the same," Craig affirmed.

"It's a trinity," Jay added.

"The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost" Craig concluded.

"It's like Neapolitan ice cream," James added.

"I don't even know what the fucking Commandments are," Seth said.

"Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit," James said. "Because we're all good people. I can look each one of you in the eye, I know you're good. Well, maybe not all of you…." He turned his head and looked at me, and I hung my head in shame. I didn't know how much longer I could put up with James guilt-tripping me for what I did, but, at the same time, a small part of me knew that I deserved this. I don't think James was ever going to let go of the fact that I got rid of our unborn child.

"I'm good," Seth said.

"We're actors," James continued. "We bring joy to people's lives!"

"Yeah, but we don't do it for free," Jay pointed out. "We get paid handsomely; much higher than the average profession."

"It's not like it was just handed to any of us," James argued. "We worked really hard to get here."

"Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold," Craig said. "You sitting on a bench, it's freezing, you in your drawers, talking about something, everybody's surfing."

"I think God may have just fucked up," Seth said quietly. "Made a mistake and left us behind by accident. I mean, he's got a lot of shit on his plate."

"That's bullshit and you know it, Seth," I said coolly, shaking my head at his words.

"They're right," Craig said. "It's not an oversight. It's not a mistake, okay? We gotta face facts. We're here, and there's a reason we're all here."

"Why are you so sure?" James inquired.

"I… I've done some things, man," Craig replied gravely. "I…I gouged a man's eyeballs out."

"What the fuck?!" Lydia yelled.

"My thoughts exactly!" I exclaimed.

"What the-"Jay said.

"Fuck off!" Seth said in disbelief.

"Craig!" James berated him.

"I was a kid, man," Craig clarified. "It was a fucking bar fight. It was a bad foosball fight. He said I didn't call spinneys, and I fucking called spinneys. He got all in my face and I smashed a bottle across his face. The first eyeball was an accident, but then I was like, fuck it, and I went for the second one. It was fucked up, but you know what? That shit happens. I'm saying, that's… I think that's why I'm here."

"I gotta admit something….." James spoke up. "I um…. I fucked Lindsay Lohan!"

"WHAT?!" I thundered, my eyes widening. "When the fuck was this?!"

"It was back in 2009, before we started dating," James replied. "She was fucked up, she was high! It was at the Chateau Marmont and she kept banging on my door. She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal."

Lydia looked like she was going to throw up. "Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't say another fucking word, Franco! I don't want to hear about how you banged crackhead Lohan!"

Even Seth cringed at James's confession. "That's fucked up."

"Yeah… I said 'call me the Prince of Persia.'"

"Well, seeing as Danny already told everyone Lydia and I's secrets, we've got nothing else to admit," I said quietly.

"See, that's what I'm saying, man," Craig said. "We've all done bad shit, you know? We've done more bad shit than good in our lives, and… It's time to pay the piper."

All of a sudden, the lights shut off completely. Immediately, we all yelled out, "oh shit!"

"Are you fucking serious right now?!" Lydia shouted. "This really isn't the time for a power outage!"

"God did this," James murmured, flicking and holding up his lighter. "He gave us light, and then he took it away.

"You hear that?" Jay asked, referring to Jonah's inhuman roaring and cackling upstairs.

"Damn, I wish there was something we could do to help him," Craig said sadly.

Jay and Lydia looked at each other, and it was clear that they both had the same idea in mind.

"I know what we can do," they whispered in unison.


~Insert very dramatic (and spine-tingling) organ music here~

THE EXORCISM OF JONAH HILL

Luckily for us, Lydia had seen more horror movies that dealt with possession and exorcisms than I could count. Jay, on the other hand, only had one line memorized from The Exorcist, and that was 'the power of Christ compels you.'

Jay grabbed the bible and Lydia lit some candles and threw one of my old cross necklaces around her neck. James and I tied together a spatula and some tongs with one of our satin napkins. Although, I was pretty sure I had some old crosses lying around in a box in our hallway closet somewhere (they were a gift from my somewhat paranoid dad, don't judge me), so I told Jay, Lydia, Seth, James, and Craig to go ahead and start the Exorcism and that I'd join them shortly.

Flinging open the closet door, I reached up and grabbed a medium-sized box that sat on the shelf and set it on the floor.

A sudden blow to the back of my head caused me to immediately black out. The last thing I remembered was falling backwards right into a pair of muscular arms…


"Wakey, wakey, sweetheart," an all too familiar Sothern accent murmured in my ear.

My eyes shot open and I groaned upon feeling the sudden pain in the back of my head. I quickly looked around to see where I was exactly…. and to say that I was in hell would be a complete understatement. Not only was I tied to a chair, but I was also in what appeared to be an old, dirty RV. It was practically dark in here, there was broken glass everywhere, and, to my utter terror, bones and bits human flesh were lying around. The fact that a few of Danny's friends were currently chowing down on someone right in front of me was irrevocably deranged and petrifying.

With a scream, I started jerking back and forth in my chair, anxiously trying to pull my wrists out of their restraints. But, considering my wrists and legs were bound with barbed wire, constantly thrashing only caused the blades to vigorously cut into my skin.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Anastasia," Danny said tauntingly, trailing his finger down my cheek. "You see, the more you try to get free, the more pain you feel. So, I suggest you stay fucking still unless you want to inadvertently slit your wrists…"

"Where there fuck am I, Danny?!" I screamed, wrenching my face away from his touch. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! HEL-"

My cries for help are instantly cut off when Danny suddenly backhands me across the face. The force of it is enough to split my bottom lip open and make my cheek start throbbing.

"Shut the fuck up!" Danny yelled. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and snapped my head back so I was forced to look him directly in the eye. "No one can hear you and no one's going to save you, so be fucking quiet so I can get down to business," he snarled

"You b-bastard," I spluttered, breathing heavily as I glared at him. "You goddamn coward! You're sick! You're fucking sick!"

My insults earned me another hit, this time it's a blow right to my jaw. Blood gushed out of my mouth as I screamed in agony. Danny doesn't stop there though. More blows are delivered to my face and my stomach.

The only person that would help me block all of this sheer agony out was James…. I had to think about him and no one else… Thinking about him would at least give me some serenity….. But I think it was safe to say that any sanity I had left was gone now.


Lydia's POV

Jonah was lying on the bed, thrashing and writing in anger as Jay and I slowly walked over to him.

"Jonah Hill?" Jay called. The demon inside Jonah continued to thrash and roar. "Jonah?" Jonah laughed. "Jonah Hill?"

"Jonah Hill is no more," the demon sneered at Jay.

"…. Demon?"

"Yes?"

"Fuck!" Seth gulped. "That's not good! That's not good!"

"Jay, you fool," the demon growled, and I looked down at my cross necklace. I took it off and clutched it tightly in my hand.

"I say onto thee, the power of Christ compels you!"

"Oh, does it?" the demon mocked. "Does it compel me?"

"The power of Christ compels you!"

"Does it, Jay?"

"The power of Christ compels you!"

"Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?"

"The power of Christ compels you!" Jay tried again.

"Guess what?" the demon smirked. "It's not that compelling."

"Alright, that's it!" I spat, pushing Jay out of the way and standing on the bed stool. "I cast you out, unclean spirit, along with every Satanic power of the enemy, every spectre from hell, and all your fell companions; in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ!" I screamed, holding the cross out in front of me. "Be gone and stay far from this creature of God! For it is He who commands you, he who flung you headlong from the heights of heaven into the depths of hell!"

"Oh, so you want to talk about depths, Lydia?" the demon mocked. "Just like Dave Franco plunged himself into your depths?"

I tightened my grip on the cross and swallowed thickly. The demon was trying to get inside my head, but I couldn't allow myself to hesitate or falter. If I did, we were all fucked.

"Are you two serious right now?!" Seth intervened. "That's your fucking plan?! You're gonna repeat lines from The Exorcist?!"

"I would assume they did their fucking research!" Jay retorted.

Seth rolled his eyes. "It's a movie!"

"Put a fucking sock in it, Rogen, okay?!" I snapped. "We've got this under control! And FYI, watching Supernatural comes in handy too!" I turned to the demon again and narrowed my eyes. "It is He who commands you, He who once stilled the sea and the wind and the storm! Hearken, therefore, and tremble in fear, Satan, you enemy of the faith, you foe of the human race, you begetter of death, you robber of life, you corrupter of justice, you root of all evil and vice; seducer of men, betrayer of the nations, instigator of envy, font of avarice, fomenter of discord, author of pain and sorrow!"

"Ah! It hurts a little bit!" the demon shirked, clawing at the headboard. "It's like, this little sting!" Yes! Yes! Yes! I couldn't believe it, I was defeating the demon!

"Why, then, do you stand and resist, knowing as you must that Christ the Lord brings your plans to nothing?! Fear Him, who in Isaac was offered in sacrifice, in Joseph sold into bondage, slain as the paschal lamb, crucified as man, yet triumphed over the powers of hell!" I cried.

"Fuck off, Lydia!" the demon yelled at me, still cringing in pain.

At this point, Jay stepped up and stood next to me. "The power of Christ compels you!"

"Be gone, then, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit!" I shouted, pointing the cross just inches away from Jonah's face. "Give place to the Holy Spirit by this sign of the holy cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with the Father and the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever!"

"The power of Christ compels you!" Jay chanted again. "The power of Christ compels you!"

The demon screamed again and the bed started to rise up and shake.

"Jay?" James yelled nervously, but Jay continued to chant.

"The power of Christ compels you!" And cue the bed shaking even more vigorously.

"Holy shit!" Seth shouted.

"Jay, stop!" I screeched, putting my hand on his shoulder. "It's useless! We're just pissing him off even more!"

"Just stop it!" Seth yelled.

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" Jay repeated. The flames from the candles started flickering out of control, the bed continued to shake violently, we kept screaming at Jay to stop (and so was the demon), and Jay ignored our pleas and continued to chant.

"Get the fuck down!" Seth barked, grabbing hold of Jay's waist and yanking him off the bed. Jay quickly grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me down with him, resulting in both of us falling over.

"What fuck?!" Jay exclaimed, getting to his feet and harshly shoving Seth. "Don't fucking push me, asshole!"

"Fuck you!" Seth snapped.

"Fuck you!" Jay yelled at Seth.

"You're the fucking asshole, you liar!" Seth spat.

"Still?!" Jay said, exasperated.

"Yes, still!"

"Um, hello?!" I intervened, stepping in-between them. "We're dealing with a possessed Jonah here! Now's not the time to argue!"

"Let em' fight," the demon interrupted, sounding very amused.

"We have an exorcism to finish!" Craig pointed out. "Hello?"

"Do you wanna know why I didn't stay with you?" Jay asked, shooting Seth a death glare.

"Yeah, I do," Seth said heatedly.

"You fucking changed. You're a fucking… sell-out."

"Jay, stop!" I barked, putting my hand on his chest.

"You did fucking sell out," the demon piped up. "Everyone says."

"At least I did change!" Seth shot back. "You act like you're fucking eighteen years old still, Jay!"

"Grow up, Jay!" the demon lectured. "That's why he's yelling at you!"

"You've been holding me back this whole time!" Seth reached past me and suddenly shoved Jay. Jay wasn't backing down either, and within seconds, they were throwing punches at each other. James, Craig, and I yelled for them to stop and they fell into one of James's cupboards and collapsed on the floor, knocking the door off one of them.

"Everyone, fucking break apart!" James ordered as Seth and Jay continued to fight wrestle.

"Knock it off you guys!" I barked, seizing Jay's shoulders and trying to pull him away from Seth. "STOP IT!"

"Yo! What the fuck is all this Franco?!"Craig exclaimed, looking at one of the broken cupboards. Right there in the cupboard were some chocolate bars, a can of spray cheese, a few bags of chips, and a can of beans….. ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!

"It looks like food!" James cried out, feigning surprise. "How'd that get there?!"

"Have you been keeping food from us this whole time, asshole?!" I yelled.

"What?!" Seth spoke up. "You have more food?!"

"You knew he had extra food?!" Craig thundered.

"Er… he gave Anastasia and I each one cracker!" Seth tried to defend himself.

"That still doesn't make it any better!" I exploded. "You knew he had more food and didn't fucking tell us!"

"I would've sucked his dick for half a cracker!" Craig yelled.

"Alright, well maybe I didn't want you to suck my dick, alright?!" James shot back. Suddenly, a loud roaring sound came from James's bedroom. I quickly turned around to see that the bedroom was now on of fire.

"Guys, guys!" I screamed at James at Craig as they continued to argue. "THE FUCKING BEDROOM'S ON FIRE!"

We all ran into the bedroom, and James tried to blow out the flames, which only caused them to spread across the bed. The entire bed was now engulfed in flames.

"Put it out!" the demon yelled. "Use your mouth! Put it out!"

"We've gotta fucking smother it!" I yelled picking up one of James's blankets. Craig did the same with a fake fur blanket and we both threw them on the demon. To our dismay, those caught on fire too…. along with the demon.

The demon let out a roar, tearing its restraints off and running into the wall. We all screamed and ran out of the room and the demon was in hot pursuit, and setting the whole house on fire. I was sprinting as fast as I could, but considering I was wearing five-inch heeled boots, it was damn near impossible.

We quickly moved everything out of the way that was keeping the front doors. The demon was crawling towards us now, roaring in pain. Finally, we managed to get the doors open and we tumbled out of them. We all turned around to see the demon get crushed to death by a flaming ceiling beam. And then it hits me….

"ANASTASIA!" James and I screamed at the same time. Before we could make a run for it and go back inside to save her, Jay grabbed me and held me back while Seth did the same with James.

"Are you two fucking crazy?!" Seth yelled, trying to hold James in place. "Look, maybe she got out, alright?! After all, you do have a back door to your house, maybe she was able to escape in time! We just need to find her!"

"Right, right!" James exclaimed, digging into his pocket and pulling out a set of car keys. "My Prius!"

He pressed a button and I couldn't help but jump with joy once I heard the sound of the car unlocking.

My celebration came to a stop when I looked up to see a huge, black winged demon land on top of the garage. It let out a roar and looked at us.

… Shit.

"What is that?!" James cried.

"It's a fucking demon!" I screamed fearfully.

"No fucking way!" Seth shouted.

The demon roared again, and that's when we knew all hope was lost for us.

"I got this," Craig said. We all swiveled around and looked at him in disbelief.

"What?!" Jay yelled.

"I'll distract the thing," Craig said. "I'll run over there screaming and shit, that should give you enough time to get to the garage."

"Well yeah, but that thing can kill you!" Seth pointed out.

"Maybe I deserve it, Craig replied. "I've been shitty my whole life, being selfish, only doing shit for me. Maybe it's only right that the last thing I do on this planet, isn't for me. It's for you guys."

"Craig, you don't have to do that," Jay began, but Seth cut him off with, "Thank you very much, Craig!"

"What the hell, Seth?!" I yelled, and at the same time Jay mumbled, "You spineless…"

"I love you guys," Craig told us, on the verge of tears. "You're my best friends."

"You're a real mensch, Craig," James told him.

"See you on the other side," Craig said.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face as Craig ran towards the demon, screaming almost every swear word in the book while he did so. He frantically waved his arms and towel around to distract the demon.

The demon's focus was now on Craig and we all took this opportunity to run towards the car. Jay and I climbed into the backseat while Seth took shotgun and James drove.

"What's he gonna do?!" Seth whispered frantically.

We all looked out the front window as Craig yelled out, "TAKE YO PANTIES OFF!" and suddenly ran towards the demon, spinning his towel around above his head.

"CRAIG! NO!" I screamed as the demon flew towards Craig. Then, out of nowhere, a bright blue beam of light surged down on Craig, securing him inside the barrel of light. The demon screamed as the light hit it and took off into the night.

"It worked!" Jay exclaimed.

"He did it," I murmured. "He got raptured."

"What's happening?!" James asked.

"Drive!" Seth told James. "Drive!" James did as told while Craig was slowly lifted off the ground, just high enough for James to drive underneath him. Jay and I turned around to see Craig lifted up a couple more feet before shooting up into the sky, disappearing into the dark clouds.


Anastasia's POV

I wasn't a suicidal person, not in the least bit. But right now, I just wanted Danny to end my suffering and kill me. He'd already beaten me like a piñata and taken all of his anger out on me. What more did he want?

My lips felt swollen, my clothes were now covered in blood, and I knew that there were bruises all over my face. Danny studied my face for a few seconds before bending over and picking something up off the floor.

I began to shake and hyperventilate as he pressed a shard of glass against my cheek. "Pretty…. Pretty… Pretty," he said, dragging and digging the tip of the shard across my skin and making me scream for the millionth time. He repeated this a few more times until he was satisfied.

I looked down and whimpered when he was done. At this point, I wanted it all to be over. I was more than ready to give up, and I didn't care if I went to Heaven or Hell, I just didn't want to be here on Earth anymore. Danny would be doing me a favor if he slit my throat right now with that glass shard.

"Hey Danny, can I eat her tits when you're done with her?" A voice inquired. I turned my head to see what sick bastard had asked that.

It was none other than Channing-fucking-Tatum.

"Channing?!" I screamed in disbelief. "You're a cannibal now too?! Oh my God!"

"And I'm Danny's bitch." he shrugged it off as if it wasn't a big deal. "Come on Danny, at least let me get one bite! They look soo good!

I really wanted to throw up after he said that, but I managed to keep the vomit down my throat as Danny laughed at Channing.

"No way, Channing. I've been calling dibs on those babies for the last six years now," Danny said maliciously. "But maybe you can eat her legs when I'm done. Now, if you'll excuse me."

This was it. I was really going to die. So, I shut my eyes and prepared for more pain, but it didn't come. Something (or someone) had slammed into Danny's RV. My head snapped forward and my chair fell over. Groaning, I raised my head to see a few of the cannibals immediately fling the door open and sprint out of Danny's RV to catch the culprits responsible.

Danny got up and turned his head to look at a couple of his henchmen that were still in the RV. "Alright, I'm gonna go fucking see who's next on the menu. Watch her and make sure she doesn't try to escape. If she does, chew a few of her fingers off."

I closed my eyes and felt more waves of nausea wash over me. Silently, I began to pray as I heard the cannibals in the RV chuckling sadistically. God, if you're listening, please, I beg of you, please... Just let me die.