A/N: I just want to give a big thank you to everyone that reviewed, faved, and followed this story. I'm really glad you guys like it so far!
Yugioh13 – Thank you so much for leaving a review. Michael was such a tool in the movie and the worst boyfriend ever to Anastasia. She put up with his crap for two years and seeing him make out with another girl was the last straw for her. You're right though; James treats her better and definitely cares about her more than Michael ever did. samalama1993 – Thanks!
The taxi pulled up in front of James's house and Jay and I stepped out. Seth paid the driver before stepping out as well. We walked onto the sidewalk and Seth and Jay's jaws practically hit the ground once they saw the place. James and I had only been living here for a few weeks or so and he told me that he wanted to have a housewarming party once we were all settled in.
"So, what do you guys think?" I asked, enthused.
"Holy shit, it's amazing. You two have definitely outdone yourselves," Seth said, in awe.
"Just wait until you see the inside," I said excitedly as we walked through the yard.
"No offense, but I think it's a bit much," Jay said.
"I don't think it is a bit much, I think it's right on the money," Seth grinned.
"Yeah, and Channing Tatum lives right up the street," I gigged a bit.
"Which means that it's the sexiest street in America," Seth chuckled.
Jay rolled his eyes, "Jesus, will you two stop talking about Channing Tatum."
"Well, I think he's attractive," Seth argued.
"Couldn't agree with you more," I laughed.
We walked up to the fogged glass door and Seth knocked. The door swung open a few seconds later and there stood a very excited James, "Seth! What's up man? I'm so glad you're here!" he exclaimed, giving Seth a hug. Then he gave me a hug which only lasted a couple seconds because he noticed Jay.
"Hey Johnny, what's up?" James asked, causing me to face palm myself. Even after meeting him about a hundred times, James still managed to get Jay's name wrong.
"It's uh, Jay," Jay mumbled with an awkward smile.
"I'll never forget it again, man. Good to see you," James said before hugging him as well. Then he led us inside.
"Really cool, this place is beautiful, man," Seth said.
"This place is like a piece of me, you two just stepped inside me," James said, motioning to Jay and Seth.
"You let us both come inside you," Seth chuckled a bit. I couldn't help but snicker at the obvious innuendo.
James draped his arm over my shoulder and smirked, "I'm gonna go light up by the coffee table, care to join me?"
"Maybe later, I'm gonna grab a drink and do some mingling first," I replied, wiggling out of his arms
I turned around and froze in my tracks. There on the other side of the room was Michael – fucking- Cera. He was snorting lines of cocaine off the table and smacking Rihanna's ass, who retaliated by bitch slapping him across the face.
"What is 'that' doing here?!" I growled, clenching my fists.
"Look, Anastasia I can explain…." James started to say but I cut him off.
"Explain what?! That you invited the same asshole that not only ripped my heart out but also spread all those rumors about me!" I exclaimed, shocked.
James sighed. "I almost kicked his ass when he showed up but he told me that he didn't want any trouble and that he would leave you alone."
"James, he's already drunk and coked up, do you honestly think he's gonna keep his word?" I asked dryly, folding my arms.
"If he tries anything I'll give you my revolver and you can shoot his dick off," he said.
"Just forget it, I'm not gonna let him ruin my fun," I said, trying to stay positive.
"That's the spirit," he grinned, kissing me on the cheek.
After that James, Seth, and I sat down by the penis statue and began discussing ideas for Pineapple Express 2.
"So, Red has become the drug lord and he wants to assassinate Woody Harrelson because he's gonna make a speech that makes all weed legal. Then he kidnaps you and threatens to kill you if Saul and Dale don't assassinate Woody Harrelson in time. Oh, and you're gonna get tortured by Red as well. It's gonna be more fucked up than Saw," Seth explained to me.
"Sounds pretty exciting and fucked up," I laughed.
"So does that mean you're in?" James asked.
"Of course, I'd love to reprise the role of Saul's feisty, weed smoking girlfriend," I replied, "Speaking of Danny McBride, where is he? I thought for sure you invited him…."
James shook his head, "No, I didn't because he's an ass! The last time I invited him to my party he got drunk, pissed all over my art and furniture, and passed out in the bathtub!"
I just sighed and rubbed my temples. Although he had a tendency to be an annoying douche sometimes, Danny was still one of my best friends and I couldn't believe James had the nerve to not invite him.
I decided to go outside to the pool where I ran into Jonah and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. We talked for a bit until Michael stumbled over and slapped my ass. "I see you've still got a great ass on you baby," he slurred. "Why didn't you come find me when you got here huh?"
"Because I have nothing to say to you Michael! You broke my heart and told all those lies to the paparazzi! You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me but somehow that didn't stop you! You hurt me in so many different ways that I never thought were possible!" I shouted.
Chris put his hand on my shoulder and whispered "he's not worth it" in my ear before he glared at Michael, "Look, she obviously doesn't want to talk to you so just go somewhere else alright?"
Michael grinned, "Hey Chris, does this coke smell funny to you?" he asked and blew a fistful of cocaine in Chris's face.
"Are you fucking crazy?!" I yelled, trying to shove Michael away from Chris. Chris was losing his shit because he'd never done cocaine before. I tried to get Chris to calm down -which he did, somewhat- but then Michael tried to blow more cocaine in his mustache and he started freaking out again.
I went back inside and poured myself some vodka before I went in the living room. Everyone was crowded around Craig while he was playing notes on a keyboard. I pushed past a few people and stood beside James.
"Alright fellas, I want you to be real sexy right now. We're gonna sing to all the ladies. All the fellas go like this, in your Barry White voice: take your panties off," Craig sang lowly. Everyone laughed and mimicked him.
"C'mon Rihanna take your panties off for meee!" Craig crooned.
"C'mon Craig, can you fuck off of me?" She retorted, swaying her head from side to side.
I roared with laughter, as did everyone else. Craig turned to James and me and grinned, "How about the host of the party and his sexy lady?"
James and I exchanged smirks before belting out "We ain't got no panties on!" Everyone laughed again and repeated the line.
My fun was put on pause when I saw Jay leave the room. I felt terrible for him. Seth wasn't spending time with him like he said he would and now he was miserable. The only reason why he was here in the first place was because of us.
After that Seth, Jonah, Martin Starr, David Krumholtz, Kevin Hart, and Mindy Kaling all sat down on the couches around the coffee table. I sat down next to James and lit a joint before taking a drag.
David, Kevin, and Seth were currently telling James why the house wasn't safe for kids. "A kid could fall off this fucking railing," Seth said, pointing to it.
"That's why you have the railings so they don't fall off," James said dryly.
"Don't you and your girlfriend want to have kids someday?" David asked smugly.
"Of course we do and when that time comes we'll make this place more kid-friendly," I retorted.
"It looks fine the way it is! They only way something bad will happen is if our kids are accident prone," James argued.
"Oh, and we're gonna have to hide the penis statue and the painting with the pear nipples on it from the kids for a few years," I chortled.
"Why? It's art not porn!"
"Once we tell them about the birds and the bees then you can put them back where they were!"
Before James could protest any more, Jay walked over to us. He looked even more miserable than he did before. If he had a choice between jumping off the Grand Canyon and being at this party, he would probably pick the first option.
"Hey Jay, you alright?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Um, do you know where I can get a pack of cigarettes around here?" he inquired.
I nodded and got up from the couch, much to James's dismay. "Yeah, there's a place about four blocks away. Just let me grab my cardigan and I'll go with you if you want?"
"I'd like that, thanks," he smiled a bit.
I grabbed my black cardigan with white skulls on it off one of the coat hangers in the hallway and put it on before heading back to the living room. I looked at Seth and raised a brow, "Are you coming?"
"Give me this much time, this much joint time," Seth replied, holding up his joint.
"Seriously?!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms.
"Alright, alright I'm coming," Seth muttered, handing his joint to James.
James took it and looked at me,"Hey, when you get back there's something I want to ask you."
"Oh really? Mind giving me a hint as to what that 'something' is?" I teased.
"Nope, you'll just have to wait to find out," he grinned.
Once we got to the store, I went to the back to grab some M&M's. Then I went over to Jay who already had his cigarettes and an orange soda. "Would it make you feel better if I hung out with you when we go back to James's?" I asked.
He shook his head, "I'm not really liking it over there, no offense. I think I'm just gonna head back to Seth's place."
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "Jay, you know I love you right? You're one of my best friends and I haven't seen you in forever and I'd really like it if you came back to the party."
Before Jay could say anything else, we turned to see an old woman behind the counter yelling at a father and daughter for asking to use the bathroom. Sheesh, what a cranky, old bitch.
We walked over to Seth and he handed me a Milky Way. "This cash register lady is mean and I have anxiety so will you buy this for me Anastasia? I promise I'll pay you back later, but when I'm stoned I can't do this," he said.
I smirked, "Sure, but don't expect me to bite my tongue if she decides to cop an attitude with me."
Suddenly, the whole store began to shake very violently. Seth was sent to the ground and a display rack fell on top of him. I screamed and clung to Jay as the store continued to shake. My eyes widened in shock as blue beams unexpectedly burst through the sky. They beamed on some of the people in the store and the people stared up into them. I began to hyperventilate as they hovered in the air for a few seconds before being sucked up into the sky like a vacuum cleaner.
Then, the shaking stopped and Seth got up and looked at us. "Are you guys okay?" he asked, urgently.
I shook my head and tried to speak but no words came out. The cashier lady started yelling at us and a huge chunk of ceiling fell and crushed her. Blood was now splattered all over the walls. We all screamed and ran out of the store as fast as we could.
It was absolute chaos outside; cars were crashing into buildings, people were screaming and running, and tons of buildings were now engulfed in flames.
"We're going back to Franco's!" Seth barked as we continued to sprint down the street.
"Why?!" Jay shot back as Seth pulled him out of the way of a speeding taxi.
"We have to warn them! Plus, it's the only place where we'll be safe at this point!" I cried, agreeing with Seth.
The taxi crashed into another vehicle and instantly burst into flames. We all screamed again before Seth looked at Jay. "We are going back to Franco's!"
"Oh, Goddammit!" Jay mumbled.