5The Side Never Spoken
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or Jacob no matter how much I want to...
Bella Swan was never a very selfish person. Or at least she wasn't unless it came to Jacob Black. If it involved him, she got very territorial, but she never dared show it. To anyone. Ever.
They had grown up together and her feelings for him had grown right along with them. Secret through they were, some people caught wind of them but, out of courtesy for her, they never told.
Just when Bella thought she could reveal her feelings, she was broken. Secretly of course. She had driven to his house and marched to his small garage where they had spent most of their time together. She opened her mouth to call out to him when she heard a noise that sounded a whole heck of a lot like Bella's best friend Shelby gasping out Jacob's name.
Bella looked inside the garage and wished she hadn't. Even though she was in her sophomore year of high school, she did not want to see her secret crush and her best friend tangled together on Jacob's couch ravenously making out.
She gasped and they broke apart immediately. Shelby's gaze looked hazy like she was under a spell and Jake looked very embarrassed.
" Oh, sorry to interrupt you guys... I'll be going now. See you later guys," Bella said, the words shattering her swollen heart. And she ran. Ran to her truck. Ran away from the two best people in her life all because she couldn't handle the pain at the memory that would haunt her.
She wrenched open the door of her truck but a tan hand stopped her. Bella looked up to see the beautiful face of the man who held her heart but didn't know it.
" Sorry you had to see that Bells," he laughed. She managed to crack a grin even though she felt like crying.
" Does she make you happy, Jacob?" Bella asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
He paused for a moment and then slowly nodded. Her heart shattered once again. But she hid the pain she knew would've shown on her face and in her eyes.
" Then don't apologize for doing something that makes you happy," Bella said and a flicker of an unknown emotion showed in Jacob's eyes before he sighed relieved.
" Thanks Bells, I was worried you'd freak out on me. I know I would've if I'd caught my two besties makin' out!" he laughed.
Bella forced a laugh for his sake and flicked two of her fingers in departure as she climbed into her truck and drove off sobbing the whole way home.
The next time she say him was at the beach in La Push snuggling with Shelby by the huge bonfire Jake and his friends made every year at the start of the fall. When Shelby saw Bella, she called her over to the couple.
Bella sat on the far side of the log, as far away from them as she could without falling off the log. Shelby pulled out her phone and she and Jacob posed together and she took the picture. Bella thought her heart was going to explode from pain and longing.
" So, Bella, what are you doing during the fall break?" Jacob asked, smiling over at her. Bella gulped and shrugged saying that she didn't have anything planned yet. Shelby looked over at her and said,
" Maybe you can join us for a few days. You wouldn't mind would you Jake?"
He shook his head and smiled again. Bella faked another smile for his benefit.
It was much later the next time she saw Jacob, right before fall break. She was taking a walk down to the beach from her house because her truck had broken down and she wasn't going to go to him to fix it.
She heard the distant growl of his motorcycle and Bella looked for a way to hide from him lest Shelby be with him. But fate was jerk, as Jacob had said multiple times.
The sound became louder and louder until it was right behind her. She dared not look at him in fear her broken heart would cause the tears that were always waiting to flow from her eyes.
" Whatcha doin' wandering all by yourself, Bells?" his voice called out and she could hear the smile in it.
" What does it look like, Jacob? I'm hunting elephants obviously," she said sarcastically, rolling her head back to glance at him.
She heard his laugh and he walked next to her. She noticed his girlfriend wasn't with him and she wondered why. She stole a passing glance at his beautiful face before blushing and quickly looking away.
" But seriously, what are you doing, Bells?" he asked me and she looked at him and rolled her eyes but refused to answer. Jacob chuckled as he realized she wasn't going to answer him.
" Fine don't tell me. I'll weasel it out of you sooner or later," he laughed. Bella blushed again out of guilt for loving a taken man. And a man taken by her very best friend at the least. They walked on silently, Jake rolling his bike along with them.
" Are you sure you're okay with me and Shelby, Bells?" he asked, shocking her.
" Absolutely Jacob. You guys... deserve each other I guess," Bella shrugged. " I'm cool with it totally." She was lying through her teeth but she only did it to make him happy. After all, she would rather him be happy with another than miserable with her.
" Shelby's not sure you're cool with it so you might want to talk to her bout it," he said followed by another batch of silence. They were nearing his house; she knew because she knew the way to his house by heart.
" Oh well, see ya later Bells," he said, quickly hugging her and taking the turn to his house. Bella caught herself thinking, " If only I knew the way to his heart as well as to his house."
It was the first day of fall break, three days after their encounter on the road down La Push. Bella was meeting up with Shelby over lunch just to talk. It had been a few days since they had really been alone together so the logical decision was to have lunch.
They went to a small coffee shop in town and ordered some coffee and pastries. Shelby pulled out her phone and showed Bella a picture. It was a black background with white words on it. It said:
Tell me what numbers you think of me:
I love your laugh
I love your smile
I love your hair
I love your style
I love you
I wish we had something
I wish you'd get run over by a bus
I wish we were friends
I wish you'd go away
I wish you'd leave me alone
I wish you were mine
" Jake showed me this and asked me what I would say. I said 1,2,3, and 5. What would you say?" Shelby asked.
" Hmmm, I would say no to 7,8,9, and 10," Bella said thinking of the things that she wouldn't want to happen.
" What about 6 and 11?" Shelby asked, sounding a little concerned.
" Oh... yeah. Those two I guess," she said slowly. Bella mentally slapped herself for slipping up. Shelby laughed and Bella joined in quickly. The conversation quickly moved on to other, less painful topics.
Three days later, it was Wednesday and Bella had nothing to do. Jacob had called to say that they couldn't hang as planned because he was spending the day with his girl. Shelby was his girl. Her truck was in the shop. So she walked to the beach again, having never made it the first time. She really hoped she wouldn't run into them.
After a thirty minute walk to First Beach, she finally walked onto the sand. The beach was mostly vacant except for a few dedicated surfers. The soothing sound of the waves pulsing calmed the not-so-cheerful thoughts in Bella's mind.
She found the driftwood tree that she and Jake had sat on so many times. She ran her hand along the grain of the wood, memories rushing into her mind. Memories of a different Jake, of a single Jake. Of a Jake she might have had a chance with.
The tears started whelming up before she could stop them. She heard a voice call her name and she turned around. Through the blur of her tears, she saw tan skin and black hair. Her heart leapt, thinking it was Jake before her saw him up close. It was Embry.
She tried to smile at him as he sat on the trunk with her. He saw her tears immediately and looked at her concerned.
" What's the matter?" Embry asked looking into her face.
" It's nothing really, just... nothing," she quivered. He didn't buy it. He never did. He eventually coaxed it out of her.
" It's just that I'm mad at someone who I have no right to be mad at. Two someones really. They're happy but I'm not and I'm mad at them for no reason," she explained.
" I think I may know what you're talking about but even if I'm wrong, are you sure you have no right to be mad?" Embry said laughing.
" What do you mean, Em?" Bella asked, cocking her head to the side.
" Why are you mad at this someone?" he asked carefully.
" She... she... I... I have no real reason to be mad honestly," she said.
" What did she do to give you no reason to be mad at her?" Embry asked, laughing.
" I'll give you the story with fake names. Okay so, Katie is best friends with Cason. Katie is also really good friends with Hanna. All of a sudden, Katie thinks that she loves Cason but Cason tells her that he's now dating Hanna. Katie is heartbroken but can't tell anyone because she thinks that people would think she's a slut for taking a taken man. And she also doesn't want Hanna to hate her so she never ever interferes with their relationship even though he always acts like he'd almost rather not date Hanna," Bella explained. Embry was shaking with laughter even though she was being quite serious.
" You make Hanna sound like the slut not Katie!" he laughed out, gasping for breath.
" And that's so funny why?" Bella asked raising an eyebrow at him.
" Because Shel- I mean 'Hanna' is a slut!" Embry said still laughing his head off.
" Wha-what do you mean she's a slut?" she stammered, shocked.
" Do you know how many guys she's been with and how quickly she goes through them? Do you know how many guys she's got hooked around her fingers right now? Do you know how many of those guys she's been with since she started dating Ja- I mean Cason?" Embry asked.
" Are you serious?! There's no way she'd cheat on such a great guy like Ja-Cason! Right?" Bella exclaimed, thoroughly shocked and disgusted with her own best friend.
Embry only shrugged and Bella couldn't believe Shelby could be so heartless. Jacob was the perfect boyfriend, nice and funny and sweet and sexy and loyal and warm and just plain perfect. How could Shelby not see what was in front of her? Bella certainly could but Bella wasn't his girl. Shelby was. But Bella could change that. All she had to do was say five little words and their little relationship would be over. Shelby's cheating on you. It would be so easy. Easier than lying. But Bella wasn't like that.
Bella refused to do that to them. Better to let them figure it out themselves than to tear them apart. Bella could handle Shelby hating her, but she would shrivel up into nothing if Jacob hated her. No. She couldn't. She wouldn't.
It was hard to be around Jake now that Bella knew he was being cheated on. Bella avoided any alone time with Shelby because she couldn't trust her brain or her mouth not to say anything.
Jake and Shelby were still going steady by the time Christmas Break rolled around. Bella still refused to tell them but her defenses were breaking down. She yearned to tell him that Shelby was playing him. It even went so far as to she couldn't even talk to Jacob.
It was December 22, three days before Christmas Eve, when Bella broke. She couldn't keep silent any longer.
"Jake, I can't do this. I can't do this any more. I have to tell you or I'm going to explode," she cried to him.
"Well then tell me," Jacob said cracking a grin.
"Okay, here it goes. Shelby's cheating on you. If you don't believe me, ask Embry. Or Eric. Or Tyler. Or even ask Ben. She's got them wrapped around her finger. She's cheating on you and I couldn't tell you because I don't want to make either of you unhappy but I can't hold it in any longer because I'm not a good secret-keeper but I only did it because I lov-like you a lot because you're my best friend and I don't want to hurt you!" Bella rushed out, not giving him a chance to stop her.
During her speech, the grin slowly slipped off his face to be replaced by a solemn expression. At the end, his face was closed off and cold.
"Thanks Bella but I think I would know if my girlfriend were cheating on me," he said.
"Please Jake, just listen to me please-" she cut off at his frozen glare.
"I think it would be best if you stayed away from us, Bella." Her heart thundered to a halt and shattered. She could almost hear it crack. But she only murmured a sorry and looked one more time at his face, tears slightly blurring her vision.
He saw the tears and looked a bit shocked but just turned his head away from her. When she turned and started to walk away, she thought she heard his voice, calling her back. She knew it was only her imagination and her broken heart trying to fix the damage.
Jacob's POV:
Were those tears for me? Or were they more from the words I had said? I didn't know and I couldn't tell. I never could. Not anymore ever since I started to date Shelby. I didn't really know what I saw in her.
I mean yeah she's pretty hot with her tall, slender body with curves most girls would kill for. And with her sleek long blonde hair and blue-greenish hazel eyes, any guy would go for her. But I thought I saw a beauty on the inside not only on the outside.
Now, I didn't know what to do. Bella, my very best friend since birth basically, had told me that the very girl I kissed every night and every morning and all hours in between was cheating on me.
I didn't know what to think. I walked down to the beach and sat on the driftwood tree that was kinda Bella's and mine. I smiled as I remembered all the things we had gone through together through the years. My mom's death, my sisters leaving me to take care of the bitter old man who lost his wife, Bella's mother leaving her and her father when Bella was ten, and worst of all, when Bella's mother tried to take Bella away from Charlie and Forks for good. Just like today except I'm the one who drove her away. I I felt like shit for it.
But I couldn't go after her. I had promised Shelby that I would spend the day with her and plus my ego couldn't handle it. My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I took it out and checked it. One text from Shelby and one from Bella. The one from Shelby read:
Hey babe. Sorry can't hang out today maybe tomorrow. 3 love you
Bella's read:
Sorry for interfering. I'll leave you alone. See you sometime later I guess. Miss you
I was a terrible person. It was official. I hated myself. After about ten minutes of self hate, I heard a pair of footsteps and I turned around to look. It was Leah, Embry's older sister, and my friend Sam, who was dating Leah. I half smiled in greeting and then turned to face the waves again.
"Jake, whatcha doin' all alone? Where's Bella?" Leah asked. Bella and her had become friends since she met her and Sam. The question burned at me. Where was Bella? Probably at her house moping because her best friend had dumped her flat.
"Jake?" Sam asked, looking at me strangely. I jerked my head up at him meeting his eyes for the first time. "What's wrong? You're sure acting weird."
"Sorry, Sam, I just got a lot on my mind is all," I said looking up at him and Leah, who was now starting to giggle like a mad woman.
"Jakey's got a girl problem!" Leah giggled. Then she couldn't hold it in and she started to shake with laughter.
"Why is that so funny?" Sam whispered to me. I shrugged and stared at Leah as she was almost rolling in the ground with her mirth. Once she got a hold of herself she looked at me.
"So... who's the lucky lady to have the one and only Jacob Black worried about?" Leah asked teasingly. I felt blood rushing to my cheeks but my dark skin hid it.
"Bella," I mumbled but Leah wouldn't have it. "Who did you say, Jake?" she cackled. "Couldn't hear you."
"I said Bella. I'm worried about Bella. Happy now?" I said, more blood rushing to my cheeks.
"Ecstatic!" Leah hollered while Sam asked me,"Why are you worried about Bella?"
"Because I think I was an idiot. Wait scratch that. I was an idiot for sure and now I don't know what to do about it," I explained. Leah sobered up and peered at me.
"Bella thinks that Shelby's cheating on me and I got mad and told her to not come beck for a while if that's how she thought of me and my girlfriend," I admitted sheepishly.
I felt a solid smack on the back of my head and knew Leah was expressing her opinion for what I had done. I knew it was a bad thing to do but Shelby was my girlfriend and Bella had accused her of things she wouldn't do to me. Or would she?
What am I thinking? Of course she wouldn't! Would she? Gah! I don't even know anymore.
I had to see her just to be sure. I said my goodbyes to Sam and Leah and went along my way to Shelby's house.
I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I knocked again and still no answer. I checked and the door was unlocked so for some reason, I went inside. The front room was empty and the lights were off.
What was I doing? She obviously wasn't here so I should leave. But I didn't. I continued on further into the house when I heard a noise coming from upstairs. Like footsteps coming down the stairs.
Then I saw her. Or her back I should say. Her back to me wrapped around another guy. Not just any guy. Clayton Fleming, the player of Forks. I was an idiot.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I yelled. I was livid and I had every single right to be.
"Jay! What are you doing here?" Shelby gasped, eyes locking on mine. Clayton set her down, her legs unwrapping from around his waist.
"What am I doing here? I'm here to check up on my girlfriend to make sure she's not sick and what do I find? Her cheating on me! What a day, huh? You're busy, huh? Can't hang out today, huh? What a shitload of bullshit, Shelby!" I screamed at her.
Her eyes widened, never having seen me this angry. I'd never felt this angry. I was a fool for not listening to Bella. I should've listened. Instead I sent her away. She may never forgive me.
"Jay, please listen. It's not what it looks like. I was only-"
"Only what? Go ahead and say it. You were only cheating on me with this son of a bitch. We're done. We're so done. Good luck trying to find someone better. Maybe this idiot will take you but I'll make sure everyone I know will know that Shelby Sanders is a liar and a cheater," I finished.
She tried to talk to me but I stormed out and didn't look back. I had only one thought on my mind. To get to Bella to forgive me.
BPOV
Bella felt like crap. Here she was, a seventeen year old moping because her best friend was mad at her. She felt like a third grader and it wasn't a fun feeling.
So after twenty minutes of moping, she got up and called her friend Angela over to her house, needing some company. And on a whim, she also called Tony, a guy friend because she needed some guy company as well.
The thing was, Tony was gay so she didn't have to worry about him hitting on her, not that he didn't still but she knew he wasn't serious because he had Miguel, his boyfriend. When they arrived, Bella invited them in and told them her plan.
She was going to bake until she felt better and when she felt better she was going to drop off a plate of cookies as a offering to Jake. Angela 'oohed' and Tony grinned knowing it would at least soften this Jake up.
At the end of her baking fest, Bella, Angela, and Tony had managed to bake two cakes, one pie, 10 batches of cookies of twenty each, one plate of brownies, and five dozen cupcakes all in three hours. She felt very proud of herself.
Tony pulled her outside on the porch while they were cleaning up all the pots and pans. The look in his eyes said that he meant business.
"Bella, honey, this Jake guy must mean a lot to you if you'd go through all this trouble for him. What's the situation?" he asked. Bella's eyes welled up with tears.
"Can I tell you the truth?" Tony nodded.
"I've never told anyone this. I'm in love with Jake. I have been for a long time but never told because he either played it off as a joke and didn't get it or he was dating my best friend. It's just I'm in love with him and I can't help it and I can't do anything about it. He's in love with Shelby and he's only ever thought of me as anything but his best friend and if he doesn't feel the same I'm going to explode and I can't even be mad at him for not caring. I mean how could anyone love me? I'm pathetic. Here I am, almost a grown-woman and I'm bawling like a three year old. I can't help it. I'm in love with Jacob Black and he doesn't even care!" I vented, bawling my eyes out. I wasn't angry at Jake, just frustrated that I couldn't have him.
"Who says I don't care?" Jake's voice rang out. I gasped and whipped around.
There he stood, looking like a male model in a tight black shirt and dark washed jeans, his longer hair whipping in the breeze. He had an awe-struck look on his face.
"You love me?" he asked, stepping toward them.
"Yeah, she's been in love with ya in case you didn't hear," Tony joked. "And I see why. You didn't tell me your Jake was this easy on the eyes. Why haven't you jumped his bones yet? I know I would've!"
Bella laughed at Tony's antics. He laughed with her but he was quite serious.
"You really and truly love me?" Jacob asked her, taking another step towards them. Tony nudged Bella on the shoulder with his elbow and went inside to help Angela.
"Yeah, Jake. I have been since you built those motorcycles with me. It's hard not to fall in love when the man who not only saved you from your deep depression but also has always been there for you. I'm sorry if it causes an inconvenience with you and Shelby. Speaking of which, why are you here?" Bella said.
Jacob looked down at his shoes, a sheepish look crossing his face as well as an angry one."You see, Bells, you were right. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you and had to find out the hard way," he said not looking at her.
Bella was appalled and said,"Don't tell me you..." she couldn't continue.
"Caught her in the act? Yeah I did. Clayton Fleming had my girlfriend attached to his face when I walked in. Not only is she dumped but she's humiliated," Jacob explained.
"Please, Bells, forgive me for not listening and for sending you away. I'll do anything if you'd just forgive me," he begged.
Bella pretended to think about it, knowing that she'd forgiven him the moment she'd seen him in front of her porch.
"I guess... if you promise never to do it again," Bella said, trying not to laugh at his stricken expression.
His face soon changed to relief and he bounded up the three steps and caught her small body in a bear hug that squeezed all the air out of her body. But she didn't complain because she was enjoying the feel of him too much to do anything.
Then he did something Bella did not expect. He grabbed her face with both hands and tenderly pressed his lips to hers. Bella melted into him and just stayed there, too joyous to do anything. He pressed his lips firmer to hers and caressed them with his own. She them responded and kissed him back.
He wrapped his large warm arms around her more tightly and kissed her deeper, their lips moving in harmony. Bella's soul was singing and her heart pounding. Her lungs, on the other hand, were not so happy. They demanded she breathe so Bella had to break away to take a quick breath but Jake's lips chased her own and met them again.
In that moment, Bella would've died a very happy woman. She melted further into his embrace and broke away to rest her head against his chest. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and breathed for a moment as well.
And then he rocked her world with five words she thought she would never hear pass his lips to her ears.
"I love you, too, Bella."
OMG I love you's are said, finally! The longest one-shot Ive ever written... Please review and show me a little love. I need it. Please...
KAT OUT =^-^=