'11:00pm'
'On a Sunday'
'Philadelphia, PA'
"Sup, bitches?" shouted Mac as he entered Paddy's Pub, subtly flexing his muscles.
Dennis and Dee were behind the bar, cheering on Frank and Charlie who were on the ground wrestling. Their shirts had been thrown to the side and they were both oiled up.
"Charlie and Frank are wrestling," explained Dennis, not looking away from the intense display. "I've got 30 bucks on Frank. Come on, Frank, you asshole!"
"… Why are Charlie and Frank wrestling?" asked Mac as he sat at the bar and opened a beer.
"Because we're all bored as shit." answered Sweet Dee before finishing her drink and throwing it at Frank's head. "Come on Charlie! Draw blood! Kill the dick!"
Charlie climbed on Frank's back and latched his arms around Frank's neck until he was unconscious.
"Shit." muttered Dennis.
"Hah! In yo' face! Suck it. Suck it. Suck it 'til ya drop. Haha, loser!" said Dee.
Charlie got up and sat at the bar to take a long swig of his beer as Dennis handed over his money to Dee.
"So what do we do now?" breathed Charlie as he regained his shirt.
The gang was silent for a short while.
"Get drunk?" they began in unison.
"Get drunk." they finished in unison.
Frank lay unconscious on the floor as the gang clinked their drinks and began to down them.
'Two hours later'
"Dude…" Charlie began to slur. "He's still not moving."
The whole gang stared at Frank's unconscious body through half-lidded eyes.
"He'll-" Dennis withheld a burp. "He'll be fine. Dee, go drive him home." he finished before necking another beer.
"Umm, no. I'm drunk as shit." she said, stumbling over some of her words.
"It's not like you can't get another car. You always do. It's kinda cool, actually." said Mac with a drunken smile.
Dee thought for a moment.
"Yeah, alright." she said as he stood up and held onto the bar for balance. "Charlie, get him into the car." She picked up her bag and walked to the door like an ungainly bird.
"Well I'll see you guys tomorrow." Charlie mumbled, stretching out the last syllable as he dragged Frank out of the pub, which left a trail of oil across the floor.
"One last shot?" asked Dennis, already pouring two out.
"Hell yeah, dude." Mac replied before they both downed the liquid. "That's disgusting."
"Shut up, pussy. Let's go home." he slurred as he picked up the bar keys and walked towards the door.
As Mac got up out of his seat, Dennis slipped on Frank's oily residue and fell forwards towards one of the tables. Before Mac's drunken cat-like reflexes could react, Dennis smacked his head against the edge of the table, which knocked him out cold.
"Oh, shit. Dennis!" Mac ran forward, treading carefully over Frank's juices and turned Dennis over. He kneeled down.
"Dennis!" he shouted. He tapped Dennis' cheek with his hand. "Dennis!" he repeated.
He got up and went quickly into the toilets and came back out with Charlie's janitorial bucket.
Mac threw the dirty water over Dennis' face, which caused him to jolt back into consciousness.
"Dude, you okay?" Mac said leaning over Dennis.
Dennis stared at Mac for a long time.
"Dude?" Mac repeated.
Dennis grabbed the front of Mac's sleeveless shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.
'Dennis Bangs Ronald McDonald'
A/N
My first It's Always Sunny fic.
The show is so homoerotic, I'm surprised there isn't more out there.
Chapter 2 will be uploaded soon, plus I also have a Mac/Charlie fic planned, too.
Thanks for reading!