A/N: Dammit! Seeing as I forgot last three chapters, cause I'm smart like that shut up, here's the disclaimer!
Disclaimer: The idiot you see here doesn't own Naruto, only Flynn. And that dream-verse.
Oi! I made you! I am your creator! BOW DOWN FOOLISH MORTAL.
Edit: Yep, changed the rating slightly - this isn't gonna be all humour ya know! And I added Jashin in the characters, cause he is a pretty big part of this story.
I do forget these things a lot, sue me! -.-"
Warning: Slight gore. Maybe. Mentions of blood. Torture - as in, getting up with the sun.
I'm so cruel.
"Foolish heathen!" His voice boomed, dark and malicious. "You may call me kami-sama, or as my devoted followers call me...Jashin."
I had to crane my neck to look up at Jashin. The fella was fucking huge. Around five times my height, I swear. Never mind that this was (supposed to be) a dream, I was terrified shitless. He just had an aura of...death around him.
"Are..you a God -eh?" I asked silently, noting how my lips didn't work no matter how much I willed them to. He seemed to be able to hear me somehow...or my thoughts. Is he a mind reader?! Quick don't think dirty thoughts!
Jashin just smirked even wider at me. "I am the God of Pain and Suffering, heathen," he said in that deep voice. I squinted up at him. "Do I call you Jashin or Kami-sama then? 'Cause the way you said that sounds like there's more gods...please tell me there aren't more gods."
The smirk dropped suddenly and the fist that propped up his head dropped and clenched the end of the arm of the bone-throne, and Jashin leaned forward until his eyes were in front of me, blazing in anger. I gulped and flinched at the suffocating Killer intent that flowed forth suddenly.
"It's Jashin-sama," He hissed, and I nodded hastily. "R-Right, yeah, Jashin-sama, sorry," I squeaked. Then he leaned back and smirked as if nothing happened. Dammit.
I let out a sigh of relief as the pressure in the air dropped. "So, um, Jashin-sama, why am I here?" I asked. I really hoped I didn't drink something funny. My brows furrowed as a thought came to me. "In fact...why am I in this world? Universe? I - wasn't I killed by a truck?" I added (I pushed that tiny part of me that whispered you're dead, you should be panicking right now away) uncertainly.
Jashin's booming laughter rang out again as he threw his head back and laughed - hopefully not at my expense. When he got over that, he grinned wickedly at me. "Well," he began nonchalantly, "I thought that life here was a bit too boring for me. And so I looked over at another world, and I see someone with an equally boring life! (Yeah, a crazy god and a 13 year old can relate..sure) So I think to myself, 'What would happen if I add some weakling from a different world to this one?' So with divine intervention, I killed you!" He said happily. Nice to know my death made the God happy, so nice.
"And just as your spirit lost it's connection to it's world, and before it gained it's connection to the afterlife, I interfered and sent you here!" I tried to digest this information. So, I died...because Jashin-sama was bored? "I died because you were bored?" I echoed my thoughts blankly. He seemed to ponder it for a moment before nodding. "Pretty much."
My head hung. "Wow." I sighed, and another thought came to me - seemed to get a lot of them lately. "Wait, if you took my spirit and put it here, why do I have a body -eh?" I asked.
"Hmm? Oh, that was child's play. I just created a carbon copy of your old body and placed your spirit in it - even if it was pretty messed up after that crash. You're lucky that you're already dead." He replied, with a raised eye-brow.
"Wait - what? My body...this body has been hit by a truck and is still working? Wh- but how-?!" I cried, my arms flapping around to indicate my stress, although I probably resembled a retarded chicken.
The raised brow raised higher. "I'm a God." He deadpanned. Comprehension dawned on me. I suppose sticking a soul in a body that should have stopped functioning and getting it to work was nothing to him...
"Oh...wait. I'm dead -eh?!" I yelped, the last part of that statement registering. Jashin-sama just smirked at me. Probably enjoyed watching me panic.
My mind shut down for a bit.
How does that even work oh my god I'm dead in a body that should have stopped working ages ago and now I am conversing to a God in my dreams who just told me he killed me and threw me into another universe because he was bored I am so confused oh my God - Jashin - help!
And bounced back in full panic mode. I would have probably been hyperventilating if I could move my lips. "Oh, and did I mention that most of your vital organs are crushed?" He added cheerfully - or as cheerfully as he could get while still maintaining the deadly aura.
"Yep! Your heart was torn in half, your left lung has ripped, your stomach was reduced to mush, your bladder exploded, I think, your intestines are scrambled..."
"O-Ok! I get the message Jashin-sama -eh!" I interrupted. It was rather unnerving to hear that your insides are all messed up. "So...if my stomach is in pieces and my bladder is...exploded...does that mean I don't have to eat or go to the toilet anymore?" I asked curiously. It would explain the T&I thing.
Jashin-sama nodded. "But the only downside is that you can't eat food - unless, of course, you want it to rot it your body and attract flies," he added that little part, and I twitched. "Ok, no eating, no going toilet...um, anything else?" I asked, still dizzy after taking in the fact that I was dead and in a dead body with dead organs and to my surprise (and dread) Jashin nodded.
"I've also had to supress your memories. Wouldn't want you to give away that you know too much, right?" He grinned-slash-smirked. I vaguely wondered how he could pull that off. "Supressed memories?" I echoed after him, lost.
"Aa. But now, time to have a little pain!" Jashin snapped his fingers, and it felt as if someone let a fire in my head. I fell to my knees, clutching my head and squeezing my eyes shut as memories began springing up painfully.
Sitting down after a long day at school to watch one of my favourite animes, Naruto.
Placing my Akatsuki plushies all over my bedroom.
Watching as Naruto therapy-jutsu'd Gaara.
Crying as the Akatsuki members died.
Flashes of Shippuden and Sai, Naruto, Sakura, Yamato, Tsunade, Lee, Kiba and others.
The Kage Summit being interrupted by a certain Uchiha.
Oh. Oh. Oh my - I looked up at Jashin who was smirking more widely than before at me, and realised that I was talking to the Jashin-sama. "You...well. Shit." I said rather meekly. Jashin just laughed at me.
"So...currently, I'm in the Naruverse...which shouldn't frikken' exist but does -eh?" I said incredulously. "And that wish I made after I died...came true? Well fuck!" I swore.
And another realisation came to me - I was getting a lot of those wasn't I? "Well, doesn't this mean I'm a Jashinist now? Because I know Jashin-sama exists and stuff?" I wondered idly. "Afraid so, heathen. Welcome to the one true religion!" Jashin snickered with an evil undertone.
"There's...no backing out of this, is there?" I sighed.
Movement caught my attention. Looking up, I watched dumbly as Jashin grabbed the gleaming scythe that was beside him. It had three wicked looking blades with kanji running along the edges, shortening from top to bottom...and they were heading towards me fast!
Before I could do anything there was a squelch! as the smallest of the blades speared my body, tearing through my entire torso. My mouth popped open in surprise when I didn't die immediately - even if it was a dream.
I registered a burning sensation flowing through me, followed by what felt like ice running in my veins and painful jolts, and as I stared at my chest black kanji ran from the blades and around my body, glowing white before fading away into my skin. Just as suddenly as the pain came it stopped, replaced with numbness.
Jashin-sama gave me a shit-eating grin and yanked the scythe back out of me, sending me skidding across the ground on my side as I was carried by its momentum. I huffed and sat up, noting the huge ass gaping hole in my chest.
"Now that you're a Jashinist, you are immortal," he informed me. I presumed that the pain I just felt was my conversion, probably.
"What I just did there was your initiation to Jashinism. Meaning that if you commit sacrilege you will be vaporized instantly, immortal or no."
...I knew he was a fucking mind reader.
"Well, seeing as how you are pretty much immortal already the rules change a bit. As most of your nervous system has been shot to hell, you can't really register high levels of pain, although there are parts in your body that will react normally, as if you were alive. So while this immortality doesn't come with immunity to pain, you won't feel most of it.
"But as you are only a recent member of Jashinism, the immortality is watered down. You cannot die through starvation, being stabbed through the heart or other vital organs or by bleeding to death, but you can die from dehydration, old age - which is past two hundred years - and decapitation.
"To get fully fledged immortality, you must sacrifice more heathens. About a thousand. I trust you know how to sacrifice them, yes?" He said, and I nodded. "Yeah, I get the...sacrifice's blood..." Damn did that sound weird and wrong to say. "...and ingest it, then draw your symbol in my blood 'n stab myself in the heart. Boom. They're dead." I answered.
But the way Jashin smirked made me think that there was a catch. "Am I missing something?" I wondered. "Yes, actually. You need to learn the Curse jutsu to sacrifice the heathens. And only one other Jashinist knows it." I gulped. "Um, care to tell me who?" I asked meekly. "Now where would be the fun in that?" He grinned. Damn. I knew who it was but I was in denial. No way was I seeking him out, the crazy bastard...
"You'll be needing this," Jashin interrupted my thoughts, and a chain necklace with the symbol of Jashin appeared on the ground in front of me with another click of his fingers. I took it, examining the gleaming metal, before attaching the clasp at the back of my neck, the rosary now hanging from me.
"Um, Jashin-sama? Will...I still have the necklace when I wake up?" I asked. And there it was, Jashin's Evil Smirk in full force. "Everything inflicted on you here will stay with you in your waking hours, yes," he replied, snickering.
And then I realised I went from being an atheist to a Jashinist in a single dream.
"Night night~" Jashin cackled, "I'll be seeing you again!" The ground beneath my feet suddenly grew cracks and shattered, sending me cascading down into nothingness as his laughter rang in my ears.
I jerked to consciousness as the dim dawn burned my retinas. Shielding them from the pale light, I realised that I was panting hard and beads of sweats were gathering on my forehead.
Looking over, I saw Naruto was still asleep. I had to 'aww!' at him because he was snuggling his pillow, snoring softly. Oh my god I am in THE Uzumaki Naruto's house! I've just had a sleepover with THE Uzumaki Naruto oh my Jashin! Suck it fangirls! I crowed mentally.
My hand wandering to my neck, I found that the necklace Jashin-sama gave me was still there. "So it was real..." I muttered.
I let out a groan at the agony in my joints. Working with Gai...urgh, the youthfulness kills! I let out a shudder at the memory of green before massaging my cramped thighs. Owowowow!
And I froze as I realised something. Hesitantly peeking down the top of my robe I saw that the hole in my chest was still there! I groaned when I realised I'd have to get it bandaged and stitched up. I was just glad it wasn't spraying blood everywhere, although a bit of blood was staining my already dirty clothes.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eye. I had two options: 1. Go back to sleep (really tempting seeing as how it was only 7 am) and let Naruto see the huge hole in my chest and have to explain, or 2. Leave the warm, comfy bed and leave a note explaining where I went to avoid any awkward scenes.
I sighed. I needed coffee for this...
I threw the covers off me, which landed in a muffled thump to my right, and stood up, stretching. I looked down at my white robe with disdain, noting how I was wearing it for over a day. I need a shower, I decided. But I don't have any clothes to change into... I bit my lip. Fuck it, I'll just take some of Naruto's and buy him some more later. I grabbed a shirt and a pair of three-quarter lengths before I left the room, closing the door behind me quietly.
I took me a few minutes to find the shower, and I hopped in the hot water, scrubbing off the dirt from the last few days. I dried myself off and patted my hair down with a towel, leaving it damp. I pulled on black shorts which would have fallen down if not for the belt, and a bright orange t-shirt which fell down mid-thigh. I mean, I know I'm kind of small but this is ridiculous! I thought dejectedly.
I decided to throw the robe in the bin, it was too filthy (and slightly blood-soaked) to wear again. Moving through the empty ramen cups I found a pencil and a piece of paper and began writing.
Sorry for leaving before you woke up, but I couldn't go back to sleep and you looked too peaceful (you were hugging your pillow and mumbling Sakura's name...you pervert) so I decided to leave you be.
And sorry for taking your clothes! I couldn't wear that white dress thing, it was way too dirty. I promise to buy you some more shit when I get money ok?
Thanks for letting us sleep here!
I scanned the note, and deemed it acceptable before leaving it on the table for Naruto to find. I left the apartment, and scowled at the sun which was barely over the horizon. It's too early...
I shoved my hands in my pockets, absently wandering through Konoha's streets, shivering as the warm breezed rustled my damp hair. What did I need? Clothes, money, that big-ass wound that should have killed me in my chest stitched up...I sighed. I suppose the wound would have to be dealt with first.
I hoped the nurses and doctors didn't notice I was that one body in the morgue..."Oh!" I exclaimed suddenly, earning funny looks from the shopkeepers that were opening up. That would explain why I woke up surrounded by dead bodies! The doctors thought I was one...which I actually was. I forgot about that.
Hmm...where is the hospital...? Ah, sure, if I keep wandering I'll come across it quickly...right? Right!
About forty minutes later I arrived at my destination in a bad mood. "Fucking finally..." I growled under my breath.
As soon as I entered the building the smell of antiseptic was horrible and stung my nose. "Urgh.." I groaned, covering my nose and continuing forward bravely. I walked up to reception and tapped on the desk to get the nurse's attention.
"Yo, can I get a check up?" I asked. Her eyebrow was raised at me, but she nodded anyway and called up someone to come and give me the check up. I hope it's free... I sighed mentally. If it wasn't...I was a fast enough runner, I think.
Soon, a plump cheerful-looking nurse came into view. "Are you here for a check-up dearie?" She asked, and I nodded. "It's, um, free right?" I asked, and she smiled at me. "Of course! Now right this way..."
She began leading me through the twisting corridors, passing by doors 33...34...35...36...
"Here we are!" She exclaimed, successfully jolting me out of my daydream of coffee. She led me into a pristine white room with a dentist-like chair in the middle of the room.
"So, let's start now," she said brightly. She began by taking my temperature, shocked when it read 15C - room temperature. Her face paled dramatically, and she glanced up at my grin before continuing with the check up.
She began tapping on my knee with a small hammer - which I couldn't feel, thank Jashin - and frowned as she wrote down the results. Then she picked up a stethoscope.
"Lift your shirt up dear - nothing to worry about, we're both women here," she said cheerfully - well, a bit less cheerful than before. Shrugging, I lifted the top off and the nurse let out a tiny scream at the sight of the hole in my chest. Her mouth dropped open.
"H-H-H-How?" She stammered, and I shrugged. "Hey, the Hokage knows about this...problem, but can you patch me up?" I said dismissively. Well, I wasn't sure if the Hokage knew, but what she didn't know didn't hurt her, right?
Mutely, she nodded and got a sterilized needle and string. She began sowing me together, and it felt weird since I couldn't feel it. It was just numb...Weird, but Jashin-sama warned me about not being able to properly feel things.
When she had finished my front and back and washed off the blood, I pulled my shirt back down and waved at her as I walked away. "Thank you~" I sang on my way out. Now to run before they notice I was a dead body in a morgue-!
Thankfully, I managed to get out before, I don't know, I was chased by medics or something. Konoha medics were crazy, from what I could recall from the anime. I observed my surroundings in a different light. There was that bookstore Naruto Sexy Jutsu'd in...and the hot springs where Jiraiya and Naruto met...and Ichiraku Ramen! Amazing...
I stopped mid-path, staring into the cloudless blue sky. I was in the Konoha, I knew the Uzumaki Naruto, son of the Yondaime, and the Kyuubi container, and the Copy-nin and famed interrogator Ibiki (formerly dubbed Scar-y). Lots of shit happened here, the Pein invasion, the Chuunin Exams, the Hokage's death, and I had the knowledge to stop it.
With this whole immortal jazz going on, I could help save a lot of lives. I could stop some pain people would have to deal with, I could help make this world a better place. But where would I start? Who would I save first? I suppose I had to find out when I was first, and how much time until, say, the Wave mission. That's where shit started to go down.
Although, seeing as I'm not a kunoichi it's going to be hard to get approval from the Hokage to go on missions, even if I could go with Gai's team. What with them being my minders, babysitters, it would be very troublesome to get out of the village as I'd be under constant supervision - not surprising. I was a seemingly normal teenager who just popped out of nowhere, with a dead body, no chakra, nothing. Of course I would be under scrutiny.
But a more important problem - what would I need to do to be seen as strong enough to go on missions as an unoffical ninja? Hell, could they even do that? I shook my head. Might as well not dwell on that...but I definitely needed to get stronger. Stronger to protect and save.
I sighed. Damn it, three days before all this happened, all this supernatural shite, I was at home. Home. A place I knew, with my family, with technology, without the weight of people's lives resting on my back. And it was all ripped away from me - because Jashin-sama was bored!
I suppose he could have done worse things, maybe reincarnated me into Naruto's body or something, or tortured me, or...or something. But he gave me immortality - something of a nightmare, to be honest, who would want to watch everything they know and love crumble and wither and die?
And in this world of blood-shed and hate, where little ol' me with not a scrap of fighting skills was thrown into, immortality would be saving my ass a lot. God knows I'd be killed straight away was I - was I not dead.
I gulped. It was still hard to swallow. This entire world was created by a man, Kishimoto, it was black and white and animated and fake. Or supposed to be. But here were living human beings, peacefully continuing on with life without the horrible knowledge that war was coming so soon.
And then there was me. Who was I? A girl with a sheltered life, with no means to protect herself, who hated pain, fighting, putting effort into things... I just wanted to be an artist! I had no chakra, no jutsu, no skills..and here, surrounded by ninja, that would get me killed. Again. And Jashin knows I don't want that to happen again - once was enough thanks!
So in the end, what was there to be done? Well, this was before Shippuden, so I had time, at least. Time to get stronger, to plan out how exactly I was going to go through with this. I mean, I didn't exactly have a choice did I? I couldn't just sit back and watch events unfold around me while I knew that I could stop them, make this world just a tiny bit better.
...to start off, I needed a cup of coffee. Badly.
Grinning, I stared down at my (ruined) hoodie and my over-the-shoulder bag. My hoodie was white, and on the back there was a silver design of interlocking gears. In other words, badass. My bag...can you believe it?
Had my homework.
Throughout dying and being sent to another universe, my fucking homework follows me! The only good thing about having my English, Irish and History books were that I could still learn my language, and look at the history of my country...and that's it. I suppose I kept my English book for the sake of being able to actually read something.
Although, I will have to read in private, I mused. After all, I'm dyslexic now... And the other thing in my bag was a six-pack of coke! Thank god for my addiction to the stuff which led to me bringing them, right? A world without coke...is a horrible world indeed.
I put on my hoodie, brushing it down adoringly and ignoring the blood stains and tears in it. It felt good to have something from my world...
Damn it, I was going to miss Mom, Dad, my dogs...my laptop... I felt like crying. I'll never go on the internet again! I lamented. I'll never see the end of One Piece... Noo! Oda-sama, why?! I feel depressed now...
I sighed, and slung the bag over my shoulder, settling it at my hip as I continued through the village with my hands stuffed in my pockets, and thought about my current situation.
~ One hour ago~
Walking through the village, I continued to stare around me in awe as I took in Konoha. It was so peaceful at the moment, albeit it being too early in the morning for anyone to be conscious.
A breeze blew through the village, and caused goosebumps to run up my arms. I shivered and drew them closer to my body, shoving my hands in the over-sized pockets.
'Hey, I wonder where my clothes went?' I wondered suddenly. 'I've been here for two days and only now I notice my clothes have been taken? Damn it. I miss my hoodie! It was so awesome...and my bag! My bag hand my cokes in it...daaammnn it! I need my lovely, fitting clothes back!'
I frowned lightly as I planned out how to rescue my clothes. 'So, what do I know about the hospital? It stinks, the medics are crazy-good...Where would they keep my clothes then? They changed me into...I don't know, a formal death robe or something, which I've destroyed completely, which means they've taken my hoodie, pants, shoes, bag... But where dammit?!'
I passed by a... I looked up at the sign, which was covered in kanji. I glanced inside. There were booths, tables, chairs... a café then? I sniffed at the air, and the sweet scent sent my stomach growling like a beast.
I sighed. It looked so nice too...but I had no money. Just as I was about to continue on my aimless walk through the Leaf, a commotion caught my attention. Looking back inside, I spotted a cowering shinobi. I didn't recognize him so he was probably a background character, although the glowering, killer-intent-imitting kunoichi behind him, who just toppled over her chair, with dango all over her fish net shirt was...
I winced. Oooh, that poor soul. Out of all the things to do, you shouldn't spill Anko's dango. From what the anime showed, she was as much as a dango addict as Naruto was a ramaniac.
"You spilt my dango," Anko hissed, causing the shinobi to flinch. "You. Spilt. My. Dango." Suddenly, she was standing beside the soon-to-be-dead shinobi, holding a kunai to his neck.
"Give me one reason."
'Oh shit she's crazy...time for the awesome Flynn to make her appearance!'
I dashed off inside, well aware that this was potential suicide. 'Good thing I'm immortal huh?'
"Heeey- hi!" I chirped, skidding to a stop beside the purple-haired kunoichi. She glanced over me before snarling, "And who are you, gaki?" I grinned and put my hands on my hips, posing.
"The amazing, epically epic Ryder Flynn!" I greeted. Her response was to flick the kunai towards me, forcing me to duck hastily to avoid being stabbed in the eye. "Well, aren't you friendly," I muttered under my breath, dusting myself off and smiling again, plan forming in mind. I was gonna be a hero and save the ninja's life!
"So! I heard you like dango. And I heard you lost your dango." I said. Anko cocked an eyebrow, prompting me to say, "And if you help me out with a small favour - and leave this poor guy alone - I'll get you more dango!" I offered.
Bam! Get her to help me find my clothes, and save this poor...victim...ninja...dude. Can you say hitting two birds with one stone? Anko eyed me for a moment, staring at my baggy top, my messy-as-hell hair, my smile...
She smirked. "You owe me, gaki. You better buy me a shit ton of dango," she said, and the shinobi she was threatening ran for the wind out of the café. "Hell yes!" I cheered. I was tempted to do a booty-wriggle-victory dance, but resisted.
"So what d'you need help with?" She asked when we were out of the café. I thought over what to tell her. "...long story short, the hospital thought I was dead and stole my clothes, and I want them back 'cause I'm fucking freezing, but I don't know where they are so we gon' be all stealthy and stuff like ninja and steal them back." I nodded, satisfied with my answer.
Anko grinned cockily at me. "You're not half-bad gaki, but I'm in this for the dango...and for the shits n' giggles." She informed me, and I nodded. I didn't really expect anything less. "I'm Mitarashi Anko, the best kunoichi there is, remember that gaki!" She added.
"Okay, let's go steal some clothes!" I declared, pointing in a random direction and marching off.
"The hospital's the other way idiot."
"I knew that."
Peering left, I saw an empty hallway. Peering right, I saw the exact same. "All clear," I whispered, and rolled stealthily towards the next corner. I peeked over the corner, and ducked back quickly when I saw a medic's coat. Holding my breath, I waited until she was gone until I head a thump.
I poked my head out from the corner, dead-panning when I saw the medic lying on the floor unconscious with a needle sticking out of his neck. I looked up from the unconscious medic and saw a grinning Anko.
"Isn't that going a bit far?" I questioned, and she shrugged. "I'm helping you out here brat, so be grateful."
I sighed. "True." I then proceeded to roll down the corridor, stopping after seven rolls dizzily. "O-Ok, we got a lead on where my clothes are?" I asked after a moment. Anko nodded. "Down in room...17-something." She informed me.
I twitched. "That's like, two corridors back!" I grumbled. Anko just smiled that infuriating smile.
"Ok, Transformers, roll out!" I said happily, and rolled back down where I came from, with Anko rolling right behind me.
Why were we rolling you ask? Well, Anko wanted this to be fun since I couldn't run on walls and such (she found out when I simply stared at her as she climbed up a three story building) and told me that if I didn't roll everywhere, I was going to get "a kunai up where the sun don't shine". I decided to listen.
We stopped when we reached the doors marked from 170 to 180. "Ok gaki, I'll check every second room," Anko whisper-yelled - as this was a stealth mission, of course - and began slamming every door to the side and dashing in.
I opened the door marked 171 and switched on the lights. There was a few shelves of medicinal herbs, and a couple of beds, but other than that it was empty, so I moved onto room 173 while Anko was at room 176.
I blinked as the lights flickered on. There was a low table, possibly for surgery. It was sparkling clean, and there were surgery tools like scalpels (cue memory of Ibiki) and what not.
And on the table, was my folded hoodie, bag and jeans! Grinning like a maniac, I rushed over to inspect my clothes. Most of the big tears in my hoodie were sown up, although there was still faint blood stains and tears. My jeans were shredded up and caked in blood and dirt, so I ignored those. My Vans were slightly tattered, but other than that the checkered shoes were fine.
"My babies~" I wailed, and snuggled my hoodie and bag. How I had missed my darling Vans! I quickly put them on my bare feet, which were numb due to dead nerves, and tied my hoodie around my waist as I rummaged through my bag and found its contents still there.
"Anko!" I called. "Mission complete!" Anko skidded into the room, pouting. "Already? And I almost had ten medics down..." Ignoring that last part, I said, "Now we have to retreat without the enemy finding out we've entered their fortress!"
Anko was silent for a moment (probably doubting my maturity) before smiling right along with me. "Right! Whoever gets out of here first wins! OnetwothreeGO!" And she ran off with superior ninja skills, leaving me to sprint as fast as I could behind her...which wasn't very fast.
After a few minutes of ignoring the shouts of people as I shoved them aside roughly I emerged out of the hospital, panting like hell. I hunched over, hands on knees, and took huge breaths of air.
"D-D-Damn...hah..ninja being all...hahh...speedy n' stuff.." I wheezed. Anko grinned down at me. "I win! You have to buy me my dango now gaki! Ahaha!" She cheered. Catching my breath, I straightened, and sighed. "Ok, let's go get that dango now.." I muttered and trudged off after Anko who was doing a victory dance wiggle.
We reached the café Anko was in before, with the purple haired kunoichi rushing off to order some dango while I slouched off to a booth. Anko came back, and after a few minutes off awkward silence, the waitress came with a plate of dango, which Anko grinned a, "Itadakimasu!" before devouring it quickly. The waitress came back with another plate, and another, and another...
I watched in awe as the tower of plates climbed higher and higher, Anko inhaling all the dango in record speeds. "Damn..." I whispered. After even more plates, Anko patted her belly and sighed, "I'm full!" I let out a breath of relief.
"Finally!" I grumbled just as the waitress came over with our bill. I looked at it, at the squiggles of kanji that were running up and down the page and frowned. "Uh-huh...uh-huh...yep...alright...ye- I can't read this," I said finally and tossed the bill to Anko.
She raised an eye-brow at me. "I'm dyslexic," I explained. "Ah, right," she said, and scanned over the contents before throwing the bill back down. "You gotta pay 15,000 ryou gaki," she cackled.
I nodded, and smiled serenely at her. "Hey, Anko?" Anko stopped picking her teeth with a dango stick and grunted to show she was listening. "Can I tell you a secret?" I continued in a hushed voice.
Suddenly Anko was up in my face, grinning. "Oh? The gaki has some dirt on someone?" she said, in a tone that suggested we were talking about robbing a bank. I nodded. "Yeah, it's really, reaallly important!" I said, eyes wide.
"I won't tell!" Anko snickered. "...promise?" I whispered in a lower voice, and when she nodded, I looked around before leaning in even closer and whispering in her ear, "I'm broke."
Anko sat back in her seat and smiled. No grins, smirks or cackles, just a gentle half-smile.
"Did I ever tell you about this great spot I found?"
"No, what of it?"
"Yes, well, it's the perfect place to hide bodies. Let me show you!"
And that's how I found myself legging it out of the café away from a murderous ninja with a waitress screaming at us to pay.
I had to sprint around the village like crazy to lose her, and she's still after my blood. Making sure everything was comfortable, and fucking hell was it, I set off at a slow walk. Preserving my energy for running was a very good idea at the present time.
I laced my fingers behind my head and looked around at the market place I had wound up in. More people were up and about now and there were stalls with fruit, vegetables, cheese, clothes, weapons, books, you name it, set up everywhere. In my old town, we never had market days like this, so it was thrilling to walk through the vendors, listening to haggling and admiring all the merchandise.
"GAKI!" And there was my cue to hide! Quickly I ducked behind a stall just as Anko came blazing down the street, kunai in hand and a murderous expression on her face. Strangely enough, it suited her.
She passed, and I stepped out from the stall, nodding my thanks at the bewildered merchant and continuing on my merry way. Sighing, I squinted up at the sun. Judging by the exact angle it was at in proportion to the horizon and that birdy over there, it was still too early to be up.
I'm sure Naruto wasn't up yet... Wait - how long had I been out here? I left at seven, and so maybe...about two hours? Nine then...hmm...would there be a team meeting around now - or in a few hours time, with Silver's tendency to be a bit tardy - ?
Oh, but I was technically on Gai's team wasn't I? Did he mention something about a team meeting...? I thought back to the terrifying time of green, youth and exercise. Well, if they did I probably left before he said it. They would probably meet at the same place as yesterday right?
With that in mind, I set off in the semi-familiar route that Old Man Hiruzen took me in the other day, and after a while of wondering I found my destination.
"Thank Jashin it didn't take as long as when I tried to find the hospital," I yawned, stretching. I wasn't built for mornings, ok? And unless I had four cups of coffee or more it was hard to think straight, let alone run from an insane kunoichi, so cut me some slack.
I found a comfortable-enough looking spot under the shade of a tree, and I gladly lay down on the soft grass and closed my eyes. I inhaled the sweet scent of nature, and the sound of the breeze through the leaves and the distant murmur of the village was enough to get me asleep in less than thirty seconds.
A/N: So remember when I said I wouldn't take forever to upload?
...yeah me neither.
And now we have immortal!Flynn on our hands :D Shit's gonna go down...
*strikes pose* Don't worry! I actually have a plot for this! c;
And yes, Jashin was basically like, "Fuck it, Imma fuck shit up" and messed up the Naru plot, by sending a Narutard in! :D And no, he did not answer her "wish" when she died. He just did it for the lulz.
You bad bad person you.
It was really fun to write him for whatever reason xD And that bit of seriousness in there, no clue where that came from.
Oh Anko, you dango addict... XD
I've had "Potato potato ching chong tomato" stuck in my head for ages. FFS WHYYY?
Thanks to all ye lovely people out there who reviewed!
1000 Faces of Pain, Inazuma Kaiten, Meatbun Attack, animewatcher4685, Demon skitty, Mina'sMadness, WindWhistle21, RedHotPyroDemon, RavenSentByLucifer (bitch get yo ass on FB), Warflower and graverobber-exploits!
That's everyone that's reviewed so far! :D Thankies so much! *begins shooting cookies from the Cookie-Launcher-o-matic*
Ahahaha, the weirdest thing happened just now! I was just casually swinging my foot around, and suddenly there's this sharp pain, and I reach down and pull out a shard of glass from my heel - I don't even know how it got there - and my foot was pumping blood! I got it bandaged up now, but the last time I bleed that much was when I was crawling around and a piece from Monopoly speared my hand. Oh, good times, good times.
And I will try my best not to take too long to upload again, but there's a certain thing called real life who despises my guts - literally, they haven't stopped hurting since this morning - and I am a slow-ass writer.
So sorry in advance yoi ^^"
Question: Who here watches One Piece? :D If you do, who's your favourite out of the Monster trio?
Slán go fóill, I'm outta here bitchatchos! *disappears in poof of rainbow smoke*