90A/N: Twilight isn't mine.
Hello, Readers!
No, you are not hallucinating. This really is me, giving you a new story. Before I introduce my new story, I want to tell you all a little bit about what's been going on.
I started reading Fanfiction about four years, and I fell in love instantly. I loved Twilight and I loved the love that Bella and Edward had, so when I stumbled upon this site, I was in heaven. I have always loved reading so getting the opportunity to read stories about my favorite characters, I felt there was nothing better. I read all the time. All day and all night I would be locked up in my room reading story after story because I just could not get enough. Two years ago I thought, why don't I try writing for once? I loved to write and I had countless ideas brewing in my head all the time, so why not? I jumped in to soon and I've realized that now. I don't regret posting my first story because it's brought me to where I am now; a better writer. I wasn't ready for the criticism that comes with writing Fanfiction, and criticism still hurts but I've realized that you can't please everybody and in the end, it's my story. I'm writing it because I want to share it with all of you and hoping that you all love it as much as I do. I lost my love for Fanfiction. I quit reading entirely, deleted my stories and just forgot about all of this because I was overwhelmed. I needed a break and I was just..done. Taking this break has made me realize how much I love Fanfiction, reading and writing both.
With that being said, this story that I'm sharing is very personal. It's based off of my life right now. The emotions behind the story are real although the plot is not. I am transferring my life into a story that one day I hope will come true. This was a lot easier for me to write than any story because it's so personal. The words flowed out in a way they never have before. I hope you fall in love with this story as much as I have. I will try to update as often as possible. I have a very busy life right now. I am in my senior year of high school, I'm taking college classes, and I have three dance classes, so bear with me if the updates aren't as frequent as every week.
Please, enjoy!
BPOV
I sighed as I slumped down in the uncomfortable school desk. I hated coming to English class.
Why?
Because he was in this class.
And because he was in this class, I could never concentrate. He sat right in front of me, granting me a wonderful view of the back of his head. Which is nice by the way. Messy, tousled, gorgeous mop of hair that I would just love to caress and run my fingers through day in and day out.
I let out a sad sigh as I realized that dream would never happen. I would never get the chance to run my fingers through his perfectly messy hair, or touch him anywhere, ever. He would arrive soon, and I would do the same thing I did every day.
Stare at the door until I saw him.
Look away only to look back a second later and watch him walk to his desk with his head down, books in tow.
I'd watch him slide gracefully into seat…..and then stare at the back of his perfect head.
Sure, I realized how weird this all was, but I couldn't help myself. I'd never, never, ever seen anyone like him. He was the epitome of what I wanted in a guy. Tall, perfect, smart, perfect, kind, perfect, good looking, perfect, quiet, and well, perfect.
I rolled my eyes at myself. You sound ridiculous, Bella.
I knew this, too. It didn't stop me from thinking all of this nonetheless. I'm sure there were things about him that weren't perfect, but to me, that made him even more perfect. The way his hair was never in place, the way he would stumble over his big feet as he walked into class, how he would tap his leg while writing, or the way his large hands held a pencil, tapping it as he thought. All these little things he did were what drew me to him, were what made me want him more than I'd ever wanted anything.
And the saddest thing is that I've felt this way for over a year, and I've only spoken to him maybe, three times. I knew next to nothing about him, and yet, he was the only thing I thought about. He was on my mind from the time I woke up to the time I fell asleep, he was on my mind.
This wasn't healthy, I'm sure of hit, but I did nothing to stop it. Truthfully, I didn't want to stop. Even though he wasn't mine, and probably never would be, he was still the best part of my day. Just seeing him once a day in English, it was like fix for me. I needed it. I craved it.
I had been this way ever since he moved here last fall. I walked into class and saw him sitting in the first seat and I about stumbled on my face. We didn't get new students here very often and when we did, I barely saw them. He was different, however. From the moment I saw him, I knew he was different.
I just didn't realize how different he would be.
Sure, I'd had crushes over the years. At the time, I would have sworn it was love. Now, of course, I know differently. What I felt for those other boys was like a heroin addict smoking a cigarette. Unfulfilling and nothing to remember. Seeing them now I don't know what I was ever thinking liking them. They were nothing like him. And never would compare in my eyes.
I sighed and was broken out of my thoughts as I saw him walk in.
My breath caught as I watched him stumble in the door way. He looked particularly divine today. Messy hair, jeans, and his usually black North Face zip up sweater. His eyes met mine for a fraction of a second and embarrassingly, I felt heat creep up into my face and soon a full blown blush was there. I looked down and swallowed.
How did he do that with just one look?
I bit my lip, suddenly holding back tears.
He'd never want me. Why would he? I was nobody. Nobody important.
I was just ugly, overweight, Bella Swan.
A/N: Soo? What did you think? Did you like it?
I put he in italics for a reason….let's see if any of you can guess why I did that. The first person to answer correctly will be my "reviewer" of the week.
I know you are all anxious to hit that button, so go ahead….
REVIEW!