Sup guys! Here is the first chapter of the BotB Valentine spin-off! The last chapter of the actual fic is going to be a really long one and it probably won't be out until next week, so since I had a spare moment I thought I'd upload this to tide you guys over. The style is a little different but I think it fits Valentine better, so I hope you enjoy it all the same! Also this particular chapter is set before the events of BotB.

Also if there is anyone out there who hasn't read BotB, this shouldn't spoil things for you too much, but I'd definitely recommend reading some of that before I post any more.

Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day my loves ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own TMI or any of its characters. Neither do I own a Valentine, so I have adopted you all. No, you do not get a say in this.


Valentine's Day

The fourteenth of February.

This was a date that had both pleased and puzzled Valentine Morgenstern over the years. The reasons as to why it should delight him are obvious, but what confused him was why. It wasn't his birthday, nor did it hold any other significance within his life. So why, on this day, did his entire town act like he was the most important person in the world?

It's not like he minded, of course. He had always felt that his arrival had truly enriched the town and its people, so he could understand why they would all feel the need to recognise him. To truly appreciate his presence and all that he'd done for them, simply by just being there.

Yes, Valentine's Day seemed like a fitting tribute. This is perhaps why he'd never questioned its existence.

Of course, his children and wife had tried explaining to him several times that it was an almost worldwide occasion which celebrated love and relationships, but he found this idea so preposterous that he simply dismissed it.

Seriously, why would people think it necessary to dedicate an entire day to romance? Why was romance any more important than other concepts? Take abstinence, for example. Abstinence represented discipline and strength. Why shouldn't that be championed over romance, something that clearly advocated the complete opposite?

Valentine definitely thought there should be a National Abstinence Day.

So this is why, using this logic, he concluded that Valentine's Day must have absolutely nothing to do with romance at all. After all, balance is vital in the world so if there was no such thing as National Abstinence Day – or so his terribly misguided son, Jonathan, claimed – or even National Indifference Day, then Valentine's Day must have some other purpose.

That purpose being the celebration of Valentine Morgenstern himself.

Being a simple man with distaste for the Internet and all other 'corruptive' mediums, he had never found out otherwise and so, eventually, his family gave up and let him indulge his fantasy.

This is how the fourteenth of February managed to become one of Valentine's favourite dates, second only to the first of August: the Swiss National Day.

He woke up bright and early that morning, ready to grace the rest of his town with their inspiration. He pulled on his best suit, fixed his best red tie into place and with the utmost elegance, strode down the staircase with his best smile.

"Good morning, dear," his wife smirked as he grandly pushed aside the living room door. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you, too," Valentine winked, handing her a box of Lindor chocolates. He chuckled internally. Obviously, he'd discovered the true reason behind the date – praising himself - long ago, but he continued to humour his wife over the years. Jocelyn Morgenstern was the only person in the world who had the honour of appreciating him in ways that others could not, and since his mood happened to be significantly brighter, romance tended to be a by-product of the celebration. He decided it didn't hurt to shower her with gifts, just so she could know quite how much he appreciated her. It must be hard, he thought, for her to have to live in his magnanimous shadow every day, so he figured he would help to lessen her burden occasionally.

"Lindor." Jocelyn's smile turned wry. "Thank you, darling."

"Anything for you, my love…" Valentine stooped down to press a chaste kiss to her lips, though he let it linger for longer than he'd intended. That was about as much restraint as he could show when it came to his redheaded spitfire. On second thoughts, perhaps National Abstinence Day wouldn't be such a good idea. Not for him, at least.

They weren't as young as they used to be, but they definitely made up for that in-

"Oh god!" An anguished cry put a stop to Valentine's thoughts. He turned to glare at his son in the hallway who'd just walked in on them. "I thought you guys wanted me to start eating breakfast in the morning? I assumed that meant you'd also want me to be able to keep it down, because if not, then please keep going."

Valentine shrugged, then moved in towards his wife once more but she held him at arm's length, giggling to herself.

"And here it comes…" Jonathan groaned, holding a hand to his mouth as he ran away from them as quickly as possible. Valentine rolled his eyes. For an upholder of the Morgenstern name, his wayward son was not quite the fearless, proud heir he'd envisioned. His appearance and that glorious white-blonde hair in particular, was the only thing that helped remind him that he should not yet lose hope. It was in his blood. At some point, preferably soon, his genetics would kick in and Jonathan would be worthy to bear the Morgenstern legacy.

"Aaaaaaaaaaah!" He heard a higher-pitched whine from the direction Jonathan had just ran in. Clarissa. Not a name he would have chosen, but he'd grown to accept it. "Mum! Jonathan just puked up in the sink!"

"Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern!" Jocelyn jumped up, all thoughts of passion gone and her face slowly reddening until it almost matched her hair. "Just wait until I get in there!"

"Ugh Clary!" His son moaned as more gagging sounds could be heard. "Mum! Clary just barfed all over me!"

"You know the smell of sick makes me sick!" His daughter argued.

"Your face makes me sick!"

"Your mum makes me sick! No, wait, I didn't-"

"MUM!"

"Oh for goodness' sake!" Jocelyn cried. "Can't I leave you two alone for one minute!? Val, I better…"

"It's fine, do what you must." Valentine reluctantly let his wife go and headed towards the front door. "I'll see you tonight, my love!" He called, trying to block out what was unfolding in the kitchen.

It may have been Valentine's Day, but it was just another normal morning in the Morgenstern household.


Indeed it is!

So what did you guys think? Since this isn't a running story like BotB, the chapters will vary in length, mood and timeline too but that way I can post whenever I have a new idea. If you have anything you want to see in particular, let me know.

Thank you for reading!

smim xx