South Park Wars Revenge Of The Three

By Shadowgate


A very recent time ago in a small town not located in a galaxy far, far away workmen were working on a septic tank and they struck a stone with ancient writing on it.

A big light beamed up in the air.

Wendy and Stan were by the mayor's office when Wendy yelled "look Stan the workmen hit something!"

Cartman said "Goddamn that's a bright light."

Kyle said "Shit Cartman I thought you were the only one who could fuck up a septic tank in this town."

Cartman replied back "shut up Jew."

All of the sudden the bright light transformed into a big space ship sending out waves. A crown was presented and Wendy placed it on her head. A message in red letters appeared on the space ship that said "if anyone in this town bears evil in their heart or a desire for revenge in general they will stand against thy new found queen."

Stan says "Wendy you're my queen always."

Stan takes Wendy by her hand while Kyle and Kenny rush to Wendy's side.

Wendy then says "well let's board the spaceship."

Kyle says "who'd want revenge against you Wendy? I'm sure Cartman is over the humiliating beating you gave him."

As they board the space ship Cartman yells "I seriously won't try to hurt you Wendy."

Stan said "right just like in the movie Jabba the Hut never wanted to hurt the princess."

Kyle responded "Cartman is fat and slimey like Jabba the Hut as well."

Kenny, Stan, and Kyle all laughed.

Cartman yelled "fuck you and your queen."

Kenny said "Cartman those waves gave us special powers."

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny raise their hands in the air and lift Cartman.

Cartman says "shit, what the fuck!"

Stan snaps "you dare insult my queen!"

Stan used his other hand to motion Cartman's pants down.

Stan says "ha now I've exposed you in your underwear."

Stan continues to use the force and sends Cartman butt first into the wooden South Park sign and continues sending him forward and back.

Cartman yells "ouch please stop beating my ass!"

Stan stops Cartman in midair and says "are you going to apologize to my queen?"

Cartman says "I'm sorry I insulted you oh Queen Wendy."

Kenny says "you also have to say you're a fat sissy boy and your mom still puts diapers on you."

Cartman started wailing and all three of his captors laughed hysterically before lowering him to the ground.

Wendy said "if Cartman won't be the one seeking revenge then who will?"

Terrance, Bill and Fossy jumped on to the space ship and Terrance said "I can use the force as well."

The three known bullies along with a fourth boy in a totally dark suit and hood got on the ship. They entered through one door and Queen Wendy along with her three loyal fighters entered through another.

The space ship took off.

Down on the ground in the town of South Park a transgender reporter with a long beard reported "a spaceship was seen taking off. One young lady identified as Wendy Testaburger was appointed queen and boys were seen being able to use the force just like in Star Wars. Will these children come back and what ancient scroll was hit that allowed them this power? Parents can't do anything about it and oh no my thigh is itching, oohhhh."

On the ship Terrance Mephesto states "I am Darth Hideous and as you Bill and Fossy can see there are statues of the dark ones."

Darth Hideous points to the statues "Darth Plageous, Darth Sidious, Darth Vader, and Darth Chef."

Bill said "Darth Chef is gay."

Fossy in turn said "he was a gay pedophile."

Stan busts through the door and says "don't you talk bad about Chef you asshole."

Kyle asked "what vengeance are you seeking against the Queen?"

Darth Hideous stated "it's you I'm after Kyle and you bow to that queen. Now you will face my apprentice Darth Tornado."

The unknown boy in a dark suit and hood flipped off a big table and pulled a red light saber

Kenny, Kyle, and Stan all pulled blue light sabers

Kenny moved forward and they started a sword fight.

After two minutes Kenny's evil opponent tripped him and with a quick swing of his light saber Kenny was decapitated.

Stan yelled "NO" and charged inward knocking the evil sword fighter down and cut his light saber into two pieces rendering it useless.

Stan said "take your hood off and identify yourself."

After the evil one took his hood off and revealed himself as Craig Tucker Stan observed tears flowing down Craig's face.

Craig said "I got involved and tapped into a side of me I wish I hadn't. I let the anger over the trip to Peru eat me alive. I'm truly feeling sorry for having just killed Kenny. Stan if you want you can go ahead and behead me since I took a life."

Kyle walked up and handcuffed Craig's hands behind his back.

Bill said "you're gay Kyle and now I'm going to blast you."

Fossy said "I'll blast you as well."

Bill and Fossy pulled out blasters but Kyle put up his hands and used the force to break both of their necks.

Kyle said "you're going to regret seeking revenge against us over the whole science project Terrance Mephesto."

Terrance pulled a red light saber and said "just because there are two of you do not assume you have the advantage."

Stan and Kyle both charged into Terrance and Terrance put up his sword for defense but he was overwhelmed and tossed his weapon to the corner.

Kyle stabbed Terrance through his heart killing him instantly.

Stan said "what will we do with Craig?"

Queen Wendy says "let's lock him in a cage while you and I make love near the special fire place located in the back of this space ship."

Stan jumps for joy and says "woo hoo!"