Omake for Vapors (Ch.45.): Another possible quick event if Sasuke had been present in the office... and then some.

Vapors is the Naruto SI WIP by ElectraSev5n that I have come to love.

Disclaimer: This means I do not own anything but what is written below. Got it? No money to me. No real fame. Maybe just a look, and then another look at the Vapors story itself.

Rated M for Mature, as in people who don't give a crap about suing. Maybe a little parody/humor, and mature contact, but mostly it is made for dirty minds like people who should be reading this.


One moment. Nothing too bad or good or worrisomely active going on.

Uchiha Sasuke laid out on the couch in the office, one book from a large stack in his hands. He was so into reading, memorizing it, preparing to use it, that he didn't even notice when his own 'sempai' entered the room.

Momentarily, Tsunade jotted down a note on a scrap piece of paper below the 'important' stuff to have the boy do a small stint and training with some hunter nin. Kakashi, and summarily Aiko, had done a good job in training him up but all this time in the office seemed to be doing him ill.

Aiko walked into the room, stoic, calm and as professional as ever. This was the start.

From behind her wooden desk grown into the floor, Senju Tsunade-hime blinked, stiffened and twitched her perfect nose like a rabbit, sniffing out the predator. She was a strong person, the medic-nin. Absolute top of her field and defeated in it by no one, even the horrible experimenters like Kabuto. She was a Senju, strong, and a kunoichi idolized by female ninja in villages across the continent-even ones that were not Konoha.

But she sniffed out a predator. She thought maybe it started out with "Uzu" but could be wrong.

"What now?" the Hokage asked.

Sasuke pursed his lips, thinking she was talking to him. "Hn?" It was an expression on his face, the Uchiha arrogance that had seemed to breed true, that said he was clueless. The conceit of a prodigy who forgot his own faults.

Sasuke did not look up at the non reply from his sensei. But there was a quick snap of petite, strong fingers and suddenly froze, a mouse trapped in a set trap-having walked into it before it noticed the wooden planks set so 'securely.' Aiko was staring at him, and not at the Hokage. Her blue eyes were large with less of a eyelid flap than some in Konoha. Her petite stature and growing young curves accentuated a sort of power instead of wrapping her up in sweetness for once.

His shoulders, broadening a little as he aged and puberty hit him, were actually filling out just a little in his thin profile. Suddenly they pulled in and his head dropped forward, downward, almost as if bowing to the other girl. His eyes were wide now, full in the blackness and disappearing his eyebrows against the wideness they seemed to have acquired. He looked five again, a child at his beloved mama or otouto.

Tsunade blinked, rubbed her eyes, but the look didn't go away. She titled her head at the reaction, biting her lip to hide the smile at the boy's sudden resemblance to a puppy. Or maybe a kitten?

"I want," the girl began, her voice somehow being a toddler's words in a command, "chocolate." There was a vague second when Tsunade had the urge to reach into her rare cocoa stash, but she repressed it. "Now." The leader of the village almost twitched when her fingers toddled towards the hidden drawer. The only boy was gone in a Shunshin without a sound or movement. A nearby plant toddled a little on its circular potter like a penny tossed and landed, before settling long up.

Then Aiko was looking at her and the creepy commander was gone, replaced with that professional kunoichi she had heard a little about that Kakashi was so glaringly protective of. And then her walls crumbled and she almost burst into tears.


"So, you have pets?" Tenten asked?

"Well, I do have a little dragon. And speaking of, if I don't bring by some Tempura for him or something, I'll probably find my couch and bed scorched when I get home." She looked up. "Waiter!" She signaled the guy down.


"So, what are some things you like to do?" Tenten asked from between Aiko's legs as she worked out some of the knots on the slightly 'younger' girl's back on their second date. Weapons of choice for her were, well, anything she could throw, but she had some personal close-up options in her repertoire as well. Learning to oil them up the right way had lead to her learning a little bit of massage techniques. Using them on herself was a must against two taijutsu users like her teammates, Neji and Lee.

Aiko gave off a moan into the pillow her head was dumped in. To the two senseis hiding in the trees trying to pretend the girls didn't know they were there, it sounded a little too pornographic for their comfort. Tenten fondled a knot at the center of her back and tickled the lower girl's spine and the whimper that she received made her smile, somewhat happy that she was helping, and then the ninja in her smiled almost predatorily at causing someone pain, even if it was a good sort of pain.

The two sensais in the trees whimpered. And planned to drag Asuma off to the bar later. If they were having this problem with two professional kunoichi, what was the fangirl doing?!

When Aiko caught her breath, she took a deep second one, and turned her head so the other girl could hear her reply. "Well, I like to keep busy so I do a lot of things. How are your calisthenics?" It was said with such naughtiness that the two men hiding from the young teenagers couldn't help but feel whimpers fill their mouths. As professional, highly skilled assassins though, they didn't let them out-surprising for the 'Green Beast', I know.

Tenten shrugged, and hoped deeply it wouldn't involve running, Gai did that enough for all of them.

"And do you have any allergies?"

"Well, I dislike most nuts."

"Really? WHY?" Aiko leaned forward momentarily as the words came out louder than she meant them to as the other girl hit a particularly tired muscle.

"Well, they don't taste bad but they are so dry that I find it kind of annoying."

"Well, I cook a lot, so how about a picnic ToMoRrOw?! Urgle-" Aiko's head was back in the pillow as Tenten leaned very comfortably forward.

"Deal." She stated with a smile. "I will bring drinks and non-eatables."

The two senseis walked off later from sp-ahem, from chaperoning their precious girls' date an hour later. They needed water, color in their faces and some clean thoughts in their heads.


Aiko went home that night with glazed eyes, an unnatural smile, and the urge to cook. She was floating from cloud nine. From the proceeds, Hinata and Karin would eat well for a week as well and her bribes to them for getting out of some scut work were handled.

'Thank Kami I perfected my chocolate recipes from scratch so many years ago,' the girl told herself. She made one vendor very happy with her purchase of a C-rank order of those strange beans that no one else wanted vaguely related to coffee beans he sold for a pretty penny.

'That girl is all my business for the useless bean,' the same vendor thought. She grinned and kissed him on the cheek when she received what she thought was her weakly killing. Her order was quickly sealed away. He was old, vaguely kind of ugly and used up, but he had a beautiful smile when the beautiful little girl bought the eight bathtub parcels worth of 'some useless bean.' No losers in that deal.

She cooked a soup, pot stickers, and half a dozen desserts. The sandwiches were made up then; three meats, a few kinds of cheeses and plenty of lettuce and tomato with pickles and some mayo.

Hiding at her ankles was the blissed out non-scaled devil smiling like a Cheshire at the remains of his prized Tempura and sweet stuff.


Their third date was held in another small park-this one with grass and a bench but nothing to hold the attention of most children. It was apparently deserted. They ignored the presence of the three male senseis hiding badly a few yards away and the three students with nosebleeds using them as possible shields. (Ino, Shikamura and Choji were all imagining very naughty things now that it had entered their heads.)

"What did you get to drink?" Aiko asked the panda-head-tailed girl.

Tenten raised her hands, a couple of styrofoam cups in a back with extra utensils and plates. In her left hand was a bag of "Is that Saki?"

Before the senseis could interrupt, Tenten nodded. "I figure we would start the date off with a sip for fun, but I have green tea and some soda as well."

"Hm, yummy." Aiko said. "Have you tried the stuff?" she asked.

Tenten blushed. "Yeah, I drink it a lot."

"Why?" Aiko said. Her nose flattened and then stretched as if trying to smell the pungent odor.

"Um," she began, blushing as they sat for the picnic. She took out a scroll and unsealed a few basic weapons necessity. "I'll show you." A few kunai were bright and shiny, showing they were still a little wet from the lacquer she used. It was a pungent odor. Then she took out a thermos of warm sake.

"Wow," Aiko said, blinking a little. It was as if someone with serous finger nail hard-on had sad down in front of her. She looked at Tenten's nice hands. The nails had just a bit of white above the parts that still 'lived,' but not much beyond the actual ends of her fingertips. 'It's much like mine,' she thought, buffing them slightly.

"Yeah, they smell a lot alike." She shuffled a deck of cards and then her legs moved a little to get comfortable. "Have you ever seen some insane nin lick their kunai or shuriken?"

Aiko didn't have to think about it. "Yes. A few times."

"When I get a little... happy with them-"

Aiko snickered, she knew how the other girl could become weapon happy.

"Shiiiiiiny." Aiko laughed in a pretend glazed-eye look that Tenten could get. Tenten shoved her slightly but smiled.

"Yeah that." She passed Aiko some cards. "Anyway, I favor the use of some specific oils that are not exactly good to go down the digestive track."

"Poison?"

"Toxic, yes. Anyway, whenever I get the urge to, you know, lick something," All eight people blushed. "I take a bit of sake from the cup instead."

"Huh," Aiko mumbled, taking that in. Tenten served her a little, then she sipped at it. The stuff was only lightly alcoholic but it tasted a lot like she thought nail polish remover tasted. It was an interesting fact though, and an idea. "It's probably a good idea not to be a complete lightweight as well." Inwardly she began to come up with a small regimen to get her body used to alcohol. She didn't intend to drink much but if a mission required it she didn't want to end up shitfaced and in the middle of enemy territory.

Without voicing it, the three senseis cough*chaperoning*cough the two young ladies starting having the same basic thought along that vein.

After a couple rounds of cards and a cup of the alcoholic beverage each, they spread out the food and talked more. Aiko was becoming fond of this 'mission' and very fond of the other girl. The food was delicious, there were compliments and the six people hiding badly were very jealous of the food and it took a couple genjutsus to hide the loud moaning of bellies that would not remain quiet.

Tenten was becoming fond of the Uzumaki girl as well, and as good as the food was, she was anxious to try the desert. So when she collapsed in a pleasurable ball of yum at her first taste of rich, dark chocolate, Aiko smiled and advanced. It was her turn to be in charge. This was her version of revenge for the moanfully delightful massage in which neither of them walked away disappointed.

The other six, however, were a different story. The three students passed out with nosebleeds. The senseis were not far behind but they recovered. Later, the three grown men would hunt down some alcohol to share their misery in that was much harder than sake.


After a good date, it was becoming almost routine for Uzumaki Aiko to barge into Tsunade's office and give her a thanks gift. Sometimes it was just a hug and a moment away from boring paperwork. Her second date had followed with a nik-nak ball of soft cloth and squeezable gel balls to pass between her hands and keep her busy when they were not holding an ink brush.

The third ended with a hug and a small pack tiny creamy globules of something sweet and dark colored.

The note said: One is cherry, one is dark, thanks for the advice, and remember to sit first."

Tsunade was glad for the advice. Her small faint at the deliciousness of the chocolate truffles almost caused the ANBU watching an incident.


A vaguely seperate omake...

["Soda?" Aiko asked, suddenly suspicious and she dropped her bags. They landed softly, as if in slow motion. There was no thump of it. The Uzumaki girl put her arms down, ready to draw on weapons if need be.

Tenten glared, also suspicious. "Pepsi," she said slowly.

Aiko sighed, smiled and relaxed. "Oh good. I thought for a moment out fun time was going to be interrupted by a damn Cola fucker."

"Heathens," Tenten said with a sniff as she rolled out a large blue beach towel and then took Aiko's hands when they sat.

From her hiding spot, Ino huffed. What was wrong with Coca Cola?!]