A/N: I will get back to Penny and Albert the rabbit. However Missy just wouldn't leave me
alone. She insisted I stop and write her story out. Hence the title. Truth be told as always it's
really a Sheldon and Penny story. However Missy helped them get there. I would like to remind
you that I don't watch the show. However I'm tortured with previews and people insist on
telling me things. So I do have some knowledge of what goes on. Still I'm not happy.

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own any part of The Big Bang Theory.

It's been 31 days since Sheldon Cooper got his head out of his ass, as the hippies would say.

He'd called his sister and admitted to her, he had made what was one of the worst mistakes of
his life. He had initiated a kiss with Amy on Valentine's Day.

"She's your girlfriend Shelly! Why the hell wouldn't you kiss her on Valentines Day? Why
the hell would that be a mistake?" Missy practically shouted at him, over the Skype.

"Because the results didn't turn out as I expected! That's why! Now it's worse then ever!"
Sheldon said dejectedly.

Missy had learned long ago that sometimes you had to word things Shelly's way to get
him to tell you what was going one. Especially if feelings were involved.

"What result did you expect to get from your experiment, Dr. Cooper."

Looking sadly at his sister he replied..."I thought if I gave her a kiss it would stop her
constant need to touch me and lessen her pushing me to have coitus with her. It has
done nothing but increase her need to such a high level I find myself avoiding her
at all costs."

"Oh Shelly!" Missy moaned. She could see how her brainy brother would think that
would lessen Amy's need for something physical from him. The problem was Sheldon
didn't understand a darn thing about dating and sexual urges. That she decided was
her fault. She was his twin it was her responsibility to help him. Maybe despite there
mother's belief that Sheldon would fall in love. Missy was wondering if maybe he
truly had no interest in the kind of relationships the rest of world was into. She really
didn't think he was gay, but if he was she'd deal with it and help him.

"Shelly when you willing kiss a girl. To her, that makes her think your heading towards
having sex with her."

"Oh! I don't know what to do. I want to keep her friendship, but Missy I cannot tolerate
her touch. Please tell me what to do!" He said sadly.

"Let me ask you something Shelly. Is there anyone man or woman that you would
be in physical relationship with?"

He didn't answer her. Sheldon looked down at his lap.

"I'm your twin sister Shelly. I wont judge you whatever your answer is." Missy coaxed

"There is a woman. She is very far out of my league."He finally answered her.

"Do I know her?" Missy asked.

Sheldon nodded his head but refrained from looking up at his sister.

Missy closed her eyes for a moment and said a silent prayer that the woman was
who she hoped it was.

"Who is she Shelly?" Missy whispers.

Looking up at her biting his lip. Missy has never seen her brother so unsure in
her life.

His cheeks tinging pink he finally whispers..."Penny"

Missy lets out an audible sigh.

What Sheldon didn't know was that Missy had become friends with Penny after
the one time she'd been to Pasadena to see her. She frankly could never understand
what it was that Penny saw in Leonard at first. She'd been a non-judging friend
the times Penny had drunk dialed her and complained about Leonard.

From the sex, to the jealousy, to the not believing she could be an actress of any
worth. She'd also heard about Bestie Amy. How Penny just didn't have the heart
to end the friendship. More because it might end her friendship with Sheldon.
Penny told her how Sheldon drove her crazy and then all the sweet things he
would do.

It was always hard for Missy not to give her opinion. Penny always called her
back the next day and asked her to forget whatever it was she'd said to her while

"Shelly why haven't you ever asked her out? There have been times when she
wasn't with some other guy."

"I did once. She turned me down. Said I was just trying to make Amy jealous."

"Were you trying to do that?" Missy asked.

"No. I thought it was my chance. She sent me away. So I did what made her
happy. I did what she told me to do. I went and made it right with Amy."

"Oh Shelly!"

"Then there is the Bros before Hos. So what choice did I have?"

"Bros before hos? Who the hell told you that bull crap?" Missy snapped at him.

"Well Leonard,Howard, and Raj. It's a code not to be violated." He said.

"Sheldon I know for a fact Leonard has never followed the Bros before Hos
code. If you use that eidetic memory your always bragging on you'd realize
it too."

Sheldon got that look on his face when he was scanning his memory. As close
as Missy could ever describe it is a computer running through it's memory banks.
Not that she'd ever admit it to him but it always made her see how truly massive
her brother's brain was.

Missy thought some more about Leonard and company. Suddenly her memory
honed in on the one time Sheldon had come home tail between his legs. Something
about when he went to the Antarctic and a can opener.

So she turned to him and told him to explain to her what exactly it had meant and
did he realize it was Penny who had made his so called three friends come to Texas
and bring him back. Missy was now positive the only reason Leonard did it was to
get in Penny's pants.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper if I tell you how to fix this will you do exactly as I tell you?
You can't deviate from the plan an inch. Just so you know before you agree or not.
You're going to hurt people. Better to do it now then for you to wake up in 20 years
and wonder why the hell your in a relationship with someone you can't tolerate.

As for Leonard he puts up with a lot from you, but he damaged your scientific community
reputation. You should have explained to me a long time ago about exactly what went
wrong in the Antarctic."

"Arctic. You said the wrong end of the earth." Sheldon interrupted her.

Missy sneered at him and he made a zipping motion across his lips. The same
motion she demanded he do as a child when her patience was quickly coming
to an end.

"Now then are you going to man up and turn back into that confident know it
all I love? Do you agree to my terms?" Missy waited for him to unzip his lips.

Sheldon sat up straight, tried to school his face into a look of confidence and

For the next twenty minutes Missy told Sheldon exactly what he would do to
fix the mess that was his life. Whether or not he got the right girl in the end
well only time would tell. At least Missy knew her brother wasn't going to
be in a one-sided relationship he was miserable in anymore.

Thai night, everyone is gathered in 4A. Sheldon shouldn't have been surprised
that not a single one of his friends said one word about his two pieces of
luggage sitting near the door. Nor that his laptop was in it's case and his coat
was hanging on the back of his computer chair. They were all oblivious to their
the Apocalypse came he wouldn't be at all surprised to see
them all perish. Despite the emergency drills he has had over the years.

Once everyone is done eating and all plates cleared away. Sheldon stands up
in front of them.

"If you all would give me a moment please. I have something to tell you."

"Sheldon this isn't going to be long winded is it? The ladies haven't seen Enders
Game yet." Leonard says.

"No Leonard not long winded at all." Then Sheldon picks up his coat and puts it on.

"Are you going somewhere Sheldon?" Amy asks wondering what her boyfriend
is up to now.

"Yes I am. I'm taking a sabbatical. I've already informed Gabblehauser. I'll be
gone two months."

"Sheldon you should have discussed this with me first. I am your girlfriend.
I may not be able to take time off at such short notice."Amy interjected.

"Were my girlfriend Amy. I'm ending our relationship. I'm not happy in it. In
fact I'm quite miserable. Leonard you have two months to decide if you want
to keep renting the apartment on your own or find another place to live.
I have already paid my half of the utilities and rent for the next 60 days. I'll
come back to collect the rest of my belongings then. I'm turning my phone
and email off. You will have no further contact with me until my return."

Then his six stunned friends watched him grab up his laptop and luggage
and walk out the door.

"Amy do something!" Penny cried.

"No! I have put up with his nonsense far too long. Let him go see how long
he can last without Leonard and I to guide him through life. He'll be back
in a couple of days tops." Amy said firmly.

"Leonard?" Penny asked when he just shook his head thinking about how he'd
be Sheldon free for a few days.

Penny flew out of her chair and out the door of 4A letting the door bang shut
behind her. Twice she almost went head first down the stairs in her rush
to reach Sheldon before he disappeared.

"Sheldon Wait! Sheldon Wait!" Penny yelled as she came crashing through
the front doors of the apartment building.

"Give me a moment please." Sheldon told the cab driver who had just got
done putting his luggage in the trunk.

He walked over to where Penny was now bent over hands on her knees
gasping for air.

Looking up at him she gasps..."You can't go! Please!"

He gives her a moment to control her breathing and stand upright.

"I must go. I have lost my focus. These last three years I have tried to please
everyone but myself." He reached out and put a hand on each of her shoulders
squeezing lightly.

"Sheldon what am I supposed to do while you're gone?"Penny asked
realizing how much she would miss him.

"Go get your dream Penny. Do you want me to tell you what's standing
between you and walking down that red carpet to get the golden statue
statue you covet?" He asks looking down into her emerald eyes.

She hesitates for just a moment. Sheldon wont lie to her, but does she
want to hear the truth?

"Yes tell me." She answers biting her lip.

"Leonard and a bottle of wine. Those are the two things that have always
been standing in your way. Only you can remove them. Only you can chase
your dream and catch it." Sheldon is quiet for a moment as he watches
her absorb what he's said.

"Amy isn't the girl Penny. She never was. She never will be. All I ever
wanted was a friend to discuss my work with. I let other peoples social
concepts affect what I wanted. I let them detour me off my path.

I know what I want. I need to make changes in myself first. Then I have
every intention of coming back here and getting my dreams. Both of them."

Then Sheldon surprised Penny even more. He took his right hand and
caressed her cheek for a moment. Then he used his index finger to tilt
her chin up.

As he leaned down to her Sheldon whispered..."I will come back for my
dream." Then he kissed her.

For the first time in her life. Penny believed in that perfect kiss. It wasn't
hard, crushing, and desperate like you'd think in that situation.

It was slow and sweet. So warm it touched her heart and warmed it too.
Which later when she thought back on it surprised her. Until that perfect
kiss Penny had no idea exactly how cold her heart had become.

Penny watched him hesitate for just a moment before he turned and
walked to the cab. He never looked back and she never looked away.

When she could no longer see the cab, Penny went back into 2311 Los
Robles. She went up the flights of stairs as quickly as she came down

Penny never even hesitated. She went into her own apartment. She locked
her door and sent Leonard a text she'd talk to him in the morning.

When she grabbed the first bottle of wine off the island and proceeded to
dump it down the sink, Penny realized she didn't need to give any thought
at all about what she was going to do.

Sheldon was right. Only Penny could clear the way to reach her dream of
the red carpet and Oscar.

While you would think Sheldon headed to Texas you'd be wrong. He
didn't stray far, just to Los Angeles.

First he hired a realtor. After all he'd need some where to live while he
was in Los Angeles. Lets face it. If she could find him a place to live that
he didn't complain about, she earned her money. She found him a condo
to rent. One that had it's own exercise room. Equipment included. Then
he hired a trainer. While he wanted to increase his muscle mass a little.
Sheldon had no intention of turning into one of the neanderthals Penny
had seemed so fond of. Being more physically fit could help his mental
abilities and the exercise would most likely help relieve some of his stress.

Then he hired someone to teach him to drive. I promise you, that poor
man earned his money more then the realtor did. At the end of 60 days
though Sheldon was not only a legally licensed CA. driver. He was also
the proud owner of brand new Lexus SUV. Sheldon figured when he got
back to 2311 Los Robles he will have burnt most of his proverbial bridges.
He hated the bus with a passion and a taxi wasn't much better.

The final person Sheldon hired was a stylist. Let's face it. Lots of people
just don't know how to dress. What better place to find someone to help
you with that then Los Angeles.

After talking to Sheldon for half an hour the stylist looked at him and
said..."Who said you can't wear your Flash shirt, thermal shirt, and
chinos when you're at home at night or home on the weekend?"

At the end of 60 days the stylist would tell people..."If people think
Dr. Cooper is difficult, well they've never met and A-list movie star.
Talk about having demanding phobias, quirks, and issues. Dr. Cooper
was the easiest person I've helped in the last two years."

The stylist did however agree with everyone else about one thing. No
plaid pants no matter where you are. Possible exception Christmas
Eve p.j.'s. Otherwise Sheldon was to burn every pair he owned. No
he wasn't allowed to even donate them. According to the stylist no
one was that desperate for pants.

Sheldon really liked the stylist. He understood how hard it would be
for Sheldon to change his look. How comfortable people became in
one style of clothing. He had a few tricks to help Sheldon adjust.

The stylist always said, when people are ready for a change it's so
much easier. It was.

Sheldon bought 3 dress jackets. A dark blue, black, and a nice charcoal
grey. Three pairs of dress pants to match each jacket. A variety of dress
shirts. Both long and short sleeved. Several ties. Not plain ones either.
Some stripes, plaids and even a couple of comic book characters. No
matter how much Sheldon pleaded he got one black bow tie. Which he
was told was strictly for a tuxedo.

Then they went shoe shopping. Sheldon swore his stylist was as passionate
about men's shoes as Penny was about those Blanco manolo shoes she
drooled over.

3 pairs of black dress shoes, one pair in grey. A couple of pair of high
dollar sneakers to go with the three pair of jeans Sheldon had been forced
into taking. As a treat for Sheldon, the stylist found him a pair of plaid
bedroom slippers. Which Sheldon had to swear he would never wear outside of his home.

He convinced Sheldon to grow his hair just a little bit longer so it could
be styled just a tad differently. He even got Sheldon some stylish sunglasses
for when he was driving.

There was one piece of clothing that Sheldon absolutely fell in love with.
A dark brown leather jacket and matching gloves for when it was cold out.

It had taken a bit of patience for the stylist to talk Sheldon out of the
messenger bag. He finally convinced him a more mature serious scientist
would use a briefcase. Not that he'd say it out loud but the stylist was pretty
sure Sheldon, being able to code in his own password for the lock on it was
the turning point. As a nice doing business with you gift. The stylist gave
him a dark brown leather backpack to go with his jacket. Way more useful
during a Zombie Apocalypse then a small messenger bag was.

Sheldon Skyped Missy every other day. It was on the 15th day he had been
gone from Pasadena that Missy informed him.

"Leonard tried to stir the shit pot Shelly." Missy said.

"What could Leonard possibly have in a toilet bowl that he would need
to stir?" Sheldon asked completely confused by his sisters statement.

"He told Momma you went insane. Ran away from home. Said he was
hoping you was here in Texas with her. He wanted to check up on you.
See how you were doing." Missy rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh dear. Is Mom upset? I did just talk to her two days ago. Should I call
her? "Sheldon asked.

"No." Missy did hesitate a moment, biting her lip. He wasn't going to be
happy with what she was about to tell him. However it had been the only
way to keep their mother home bound and not out scouring the countryside
for her little Shelly.

"Well I had to tell her what you were really up to. I'm sorry Sheldon it
was the only way. She was ready to get in her car and scour the roadsides
for your dead body."Missy wiped at her eyes, believing he'll be very upset
thinking she betrayed him.

"This calmed Mom down? In effect making Leonard's excrement pot
stirring ineffective?" He quietly asked.

"Yes." Missy replied.

"Then you did the right thing Missy." He gave her a rare smile of approval.

Grinning Missy told him..."Mom said to tell you how proud she is of you.
You know willing to change. She knows how hard it is for you to not live
by your schedules and stuff."

"I should reward her faith in me. Please tell her I shall try my very best to
come home for Thanksgiving this year." He sighed knowing that his mother
would take "shall try" as a promise.

As promised Penny went over and saw Leonard the morning after Sheldon
left. She'd gotten a plastic bag and went about her apartment planning on
picking up any of his personal items to return to him.

Penny was shocked to find there were no personal items of Leonard's except
a package of condoms. Medium size and a tube of lubricant. The lubricant she'd
tossed out. She was sure dryness wouldn't be a problem for her, any longer.

Penny was pleasantly surprised though to find several items of Sheldon's
around the apartment. A biography about Einstein, a box of latex gloves
(for those times she gave in and let him clean), the original Star Trek dvd
set, dvd set for season 5, a small bottle of hand sanitizer(even though
she had a big bottle by both her bathroom and kitchen sinks), a magazine
about global warming, another about physics (that gave her a headache two
paragraphs in), CP3O coffee mug she'd bought him ( he insisted it stay in
her apartment for when he had hot cocoa there) and finally a whiteboard
(hidden in her closet just in case he came up with something brilliant while
chatting about mundane nonsense with her).

What did she know about her relationship with Sheldon other then the items
he left there. She always had a package of hot dogs in the freezer and a jar
of Mama Italia Marinara Spaghetti Sauce in the cupboard. There was always
a diet coke or a Mt. Dew specifically for him. She had box of mixed flavored
teas for when he was upset.

That was all she needed to tell her exactly what her relationship with Leonard
had been about all these years. Medium size condoms and a tube of lubricant.
The lubricant she'd tossed out. She was sure dryness wouldn't be a problem for
her, any longer.

So she marched into 4A. Handed Leonard the condoms told him she was sorry
but he was never going to be the guy she needed.

Then Penny went back to her apartment and while she cleaned she thought
about how she was going to seriously go after her dream.

She needed to spend less time at the Cheesecake Factory and more time auditioning.
She couldn't be fussy she'd audition for anything but porn.

Penny needed enough money to cover her expenses for the next 60 days. Her
gaze fell onto her collection of Care Bears. Unlike the guys, once she'd moved
up to middle school she'd stopped collecting them. She kept them for sentimental
reasons and the occasional need of something to cuddle that didn't judge her or
want to have sex with her.

A quick search through Ebay and Penny knew exactly how to cover her expenses.
She even admitted she wasn't sad about it. Now if it had been her shoes that would
be different.

That very night she listed them on Craigslist. In four different sets. The next morning
she got a call would Penny take fifty dollars less if the woman took all four sets. Penny
agreed and they met later that morning at the Cheesecake Factory.

41 days later and 25 failed auditions. Although she did get 10 call backs. Penny hit
pay dirt. So to speak. It wasn't even at an audition it was at the Cheesecake Factory.

A man in his mid fifties had been coming in a couple of times a week for the last few
months. He always sat at Penny's table and they chatted a lot.

Mr. Savage managed to redirect their conversations when Penny would ask him what
he did for a living. He did tell her he was happily married for 20 years and had 2
awesome daughters.

He always encouraged her to talk about her life on the farm and her incredibly smart
neighbors. For some reason Penny could never understand was the only
person she told about what happened when she chased Sheldon down the stairs at
2311 Los Robles. She told him how she was going to make her dream come true.
That's why she was only working on Mondays and Sundays now. The rest of her
time was spent at auditions. Penny told him how ashamed she'd been when she'd
finally figured out that it was all about sex with Leonard. From there she went on
to dumping out all alcohol in her apartment. Figuring out she'd need money to live
on. Incredibly how she sold her Care Bears.

With the tip he left her that night he added his business card. Turned out
was a writer. Television was his specialty. On the back of his business card he left
a note for her. 10:00AM his office.

Mr. Savage had an idea. One he wanted to take to a network. Just one thing he
needed Penny's permission. After all they were her stories.

He even had one script already written. had made some noticeable changes
though. The lead would be a blonde female from Nebraska who was the genius.
For years shows had, more leading men then women. He wanted to make this
about a woman's journey. There had already been a lot of movies etc about
women trying to make it in show business. Let the man struggle to find his
way this time. He could make him a waiter if she wanted or he could be a
janitor. The point was Mr. Savage needed Penny. He was pretty sure if the
network went for the idea, she'd be perfect to play the part of the genius.

17 days after that Penny was at Howard and Bernadette's. It was the first
time she'd seen them since Sheldon left and she broke up with Leonard.

"I need a good lawyer Howard. Someone who knows Hollywood contracts.
I don't have the first idea of where to look and Sheldon wont be back for
another 3 days. You're great at searching. Can you help me out?" Penny

"Well I do have a cousin in Los Angeles. Corporate law. I'm sure he knows
someone. I'll make sure I check up on whoever he tells me. I'm happy
for you Penny. Leaving Leonard was the right thing to do." Howard couldn't
have been more surprised when Penny wrapped her arms around him and
making one of Howards fantasies come true she whispered in his ear...
" Thank you."

Not exactly the way Howard fantasized about it. However considering
how much he loved Bernadette he was taking it as a win.

3 days later Penny was happily rushing up the stairs to 4B. The lawyer
Howard helped her find was great. He wasn't going to bled her dry
and he'd made some changes to the network contract that tilted things
even more in her favor.

When she reached the landing though Penny's heart almost stopped
beating. The door to 4A was open.

A jean clad butt was sticking up in the air bent over a moving box.

Leonard had stuck a note under her door 10 days ago. She should
tell Sheldon he found another place to move and he took the couch.
He was the one who'd paid for it after all.

The jean clad butt righted itself. The tall not so lanky man anymore, 2 Ph.d Dr. Sheldon Cooper turned around and smiled at her.



Holding her hand out Penny walked through the open door to 4A.

"I'm Penn..." She never go to finish. Which when she'd tell her children
years later she couldn't have been happier. Because that was when
their father said..."I'm here to collect my dream." Like all princes in fairy tales
he sealed that statement with her second perfect kiss.