A/N: Ah what the hell? I'm going to write at least one one-shot for every crack pairing I ship.

And somehow, I actually really like Crenny. I don't even know why, but gosh it just seems like they'd be quite cute together. Maybe Kenny can get Craig to lighten up, hehe.


Kenny preferred to stay in his own group of friends. His group and Craig's gang seemed to be unspoken rivals for whatever reason, but sometimes, Kenny liked to hang out with them.

Out of the four main members of Craig's group, he liked to hang out with Craig the most. Of course, Craig never seemed to like nor dislike Kenny's company, which just made Kenny curious about him. What did Craig like? Was he that bad boy that nobody should touch? Was he just misunderstood? For the fourth grade, Craig really seemed to be more calm and collected, or more mature, than the others.

The first time Kenny had gone over to Craig's house, it had been sort of awkward, at least for him anyway.

"Hey Craig! Can I come over after school?" Kenny cheerfully asked in homeroom. Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were somehow trapped in Nebraska, and Kenny was glad that he didn't go with them.

"Why?" Craig deadpanned. He didn't smile at Kenny, but didn't frown. He looked like he had no absolute display of emotion at all.

"Um...because I want to?" Kenny asked. He didn't know why Craig managed to make him so uncomfortable at times. Kenny was usually the one to make people feel awkward, he wasn't used to the tables being turned on him.

Craig continued to just stare at Kenny. His gaze made Kenny want to turn away, but he couldn't, feeling like he was trapped in an invisible cage that Craig's emotionless violet eyes had built.

"Fine." Craig had said after a period of agonizing silence. Kenny didn't know what to feel. He felt sweaty, awkward, uncomfortable, but, most confusingly, infatuated.

He never paid the kid much attention in kindergarten through third grade. Why was he fascinating Kenny so quickly?

Throughout the day, Kenny just couldn't get his mind off the blue clad boy. He had so many questions about Craig, but couldn't get the nerve to ask him. Approaching somebody and saying "Why are you like that," would most likely be unacceptable in society anyway.

Still though, Kenny found himself looking over at Craig in class, wondering why he was so...different.


Kenny rang Craig's doorbell, nervously clutching at his own sleeves, mind still on the subject of Craig. No girl had ever made Kenny nervous, or even made him think about her at all. So why was Craig any different?

"Oh. McCormick." Craig greeted. Kenny looked over his shoulder, and couldn't help but ask where his parents were.

"Out," was all he replied. Kenny shuffled into the house, and Craig shut the door.

"W-what do you want to do?" Kenny asked. Apparently his speech was overcome with his own nervousness. He wondered how Clyde put up with him.

Craig gestured to the couch, and Kenny sat. Why doesn't he talk? Kenny's mind thought. Another question to add to the gallery. Craig sat beside him, and stared him down. He pulled his parka strings just the slightest bit tighter.

"So let's talk McCormick. Why did you decide to come over to my house of all places?" Craig asked. This was the longest that Kenny had ever heard him talk. He had such a monotonous and flat voice, but it still intrigued Kenny.

"There was nowhere to go?"

"Nobody hangs out with me voluntarily. Tell me why you came." Craig said. Kenny could feel his eyes boring into him, judging him. Nothing ever made Kenny scared, or nervous, especially because he's gone to Hell multiple times. Why was this stoic boy making him more startled than Satan?

"I told you why. And why do you keep calling me McCormick? My name is Kenny."

"I don't know you 'Kenny,'-" Craig spat out his name like it was something poisonous, "and you haven't clarified why you decided to come over. Shouldn't you be whoring yourself at Red's house?"

Kenny squeaked, trying to make words come out of his mouth. "I just thought that you'd be cool to hang out with."

"You shouldn't try. I don't let in people easily." Craig told him. He had still never taken his eyes off of Kenny.

"But everyone can make friends Craig. I don't think you're an exception." Kenny replied after forming the coherent sentences in his head.

"You don't want to know me McCormick."

"Please Craig, stop acting so dramatic. You and I both know that you're probably just a kid with non-existent problems." Kenny told him. Craig subtly curved his lips into a smile. He was the first kid to try to get to open him up. He was so straight up about it too, Craig liked that.

But he didn't know Kenny yet...


And now, Kenny went to Craig's house every day. His parents were home occasionally, cooking the two kids dinner, or rather hot cocoa. Craig's sister, Ruby, had finally gotten used to the blonde boy being around, and no longer treated him like a piece of trash.

It had been over a month since Kenny had first visited Craig. And even though he got to know Craig more, he still couldn't help but hold the same fascination for him as he had when he first met him. He liked to vent to Craig about problems such as his parents fighting, and Craig offered his helpful advice to Kenny, such as 'Your family consists of a bunch of dicks, so...'

Of course, Kenny has tried to hug him a couple of times, but Craig simply pushed the boy away without a frown or a smile. Just that same stoic expression that has remained on his face since forever. And of course, his fascination with Craig grew. He was constantly on Kenny's mind...he was like some kind of enigma that wasn't meant to be solved. He wanted so desperately to solve him though...

His slight obsession grew to the point where, even when Kenny was with his main group of friends, he would constantly be aloof in his own thoughts. Even Cartman had picked up on Kenny's behavior. He liked to coin the phrase "Earth to poor boy," to capture Kenny's attention, at least for a couple of seconds.


"You're staring again Kenny." Craig said, his eyes still glued to the television screen. He didn't have to glance at the blonde to know that he was being stared at again. He considered it to be because Kenny was a little weird.

Kenny looked startled. "Oh...sorry." He turned to face the television. His fascination was turning into an obsession, Kenny was realizing that. Maybe...maybe he had a crush on Craig? He shook his head no. He liked women, not men.

"What were you nodding at?" Craig asked. Kenny was startled again as he turned back.

"N-nothing." He stammered. Craig raised an eyebrow, telling Kenny that he didn't believe his response. Kenny shot him an awkward smile, and Craig rolled his eyes and faced the television screen.

Kenny turned to face Craig again. It had been a goal of his to get Craig to smile, was that considered gay? It had also been a goal of his to hug Craig without getting pushed away, was that gay? He reconsidered his thoughts that he had about the apathetic child, and some realization was dawned on him.

He, Kenny McCormick, might be...was in love with Craig Tucker. Had he had a crush on him the whole time?

Kenny fiddled with his fingers and stared at the ground. He could feel Craig's gaze on him shortly afterwards, along with the click of the television being turned off. Kenny brought his hands up to his face, then brought his knees up to his chest. Oh shit.

"What?" Craig asked, a bit confused. Kenny sighed. Of course he liked Craig, nobody was supposed to be that obsessed with another individual that much.

"Do you think I'm weird?" Kenny asked. He wanted to at least know what Craig thought of him.

"Mmm, well...kinda. You seem really 'up there' Kenny." Craig admitted, and pointed towards the ceiling.

"And do you think if a person has thoughts about another person constantly, and has goals to reach with that person, is that considered being in love with that person?"

"Depends on what kind of thoughts you're thinking of." Craig replied.

"Thoughts about...say how to figure someone out?" Kenny asked. Craig eyed him for a moment, before asking;

"I guess it depends on how often you see that person, right?" Craig said, this time with a hidden smirk. He knew what Kenny was trying to get at.

"What if you see that person every day? And one of your goals is to get them to hug you? Would that count as being in love?" Kenny asked.

"Maybe it does. What are your other goals?" Craig was on the verge of laughing for once in his life. Kenny could have at least tried to make this whole situation less obvious.

"Oh uh...one of that person's goals is to make the other person laugh, and to make the other person smile, and to get the other person to...um...be able to be happy for once." Kenny said. Where had this random sweat on his forehead come from?

Craig had a ghost of a smile on his lips, before saying "Kenny, I'm not a dipshit, are you talking about me?"

Kenny tightened his parka strings again. "No I was talking about-"

"Kenny."

"Okay I was talking about you!" Kenny exclaimed. Craig smirked and Kenny gasped in mock surprise.

"You have some gay ass goals, Kenny."

"But I achieved one, didn't I?" Kenny replied with a grin. Craig's smirk faded away back into the same monotonous expression that he's had for many years.

"So what...do you wanna go out or something?" Craig muttered.

"O-oh...yeah...yeah," Kenny said with obvious nervousness in his voice. Craig shrugged, as if were no big deal that Kenny was his first boyfriend. "Wait—what are we supposed to do now?"

Craig put an arm around Kenny, which prompted the blonde boy to lean into him. "Maybe one day you'll achieve your other goals...though I wouldn't count on it."

He laughed, thinking that he could use the same tactic on Craig as he had other girls. He first took his parka hood down, and then leaned in and kissed Craig's lips. He tasted like chocolate...that was a new flavor. Usually he wouldn't give such perfunctory kisses, but this was his first time with a boy. When Kenny pulled away, Craig looked slightly flustered.

"What the hell was that?" Craig asked.

"I kissed you. Duh," Kenny said, as if it were an obvious answer. "By the way, you taste like chocolate."

"You tasted like whorange...no but seriously, you tasted like orange." Craig said. Kenny shrugged.

"Can I have more chocolate?" He asked, a mischievous grin taking over his facial expression.

"Can't have too many sweets or you'll get sick." Craig stated matter-of-factly, and retrieved his arm. Kenny pressed his head onto the other boy's shoulder.

"It isn't necessarily bad to have a sugar rush..." Kenny pointed out. He got up and kissed Craig again anyway, not leaving Craig much choice. He just loved how Craig tasted, if that made any sense.

Craig was the one to pull away this time, remarking that he has had enough fruit for today. Kenny only smiled and resumed his earlier position; leaned up against Craig.

Tomorrow, he was going to make Craig smile if it killed him.