It's been a while since I wrote anything Tangled-related. I guess this should technically be a crossover, but there's really mostly focuses on the Tangled characters so... I don't know. I could change it. It's also been a while since I've tried my hand at humor. It's not exactly my strong point, but here we go. I know that this has probably been done like a thousand times, but I wanted to give my take on it.
A treaty from Kingdom Whos-not, a hunting invitation from Prince Whos-it, a letter from Duke What's-his-nose, fifty ball invitations from who-knows-where, another treaty from Kingdom Whats-it, a letter from Count Something-or-other. And there's still about ten thousand more to go!
King Jonathan sighed and rested his chin in his hand. He hated going through the mail. Picking out the most important ones and choosing which needed a personal reply, which needed a personal attendance, which just needed a signature, which needed his personal opinion, etc. There seemed to be a surplus of them lately. Mostly ball invitations, and wedding invitations, and such. He had been at this all day. His brain was going numb. Summer was a very popular time for parties, he supposed. But, really. He couldn't go to all of them and it was very difficult sometimes to decide which one to go to without offending someone and starting a war. And this wasn't even any of the legal documents! This was just the mail!
There was a knock at the door which suddenly stopped the intense buzzing in his head, which he hadn't realized had been occurring until it ceased. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his chair. "Come in!" he called.
The door opened and in walked his daughter, Rapunzel. She was holding a tea tray and smiling brightly at him as she closed the door behind her. "I thought you could use a snack," she said.
Jonathan eyed the tray as she approached and set it down on his desk beside the stack of papers. "Are those your homemade jam tarts?"
"Mm-hmm," she said, "And they're fresh."
Jonathan set down the paper he was holding and reached for one of them. "Alright, maybe just one."
Rapunzel smiled and sat down on the significantly smaller chair on the other side of the desk, taking one of the two tea cups for herself. "What are you working on?" she wondered.
"Oh just sorting through this week's mail," Jonathan replied, biting into the jam tart.
Rapunzel glanced at the pile of papers in front of him. "All that?" she asked, "Anything interesting?"
"Mostly ball invitations," Jonathan said, "Although I have found a couple congratulations on your marriage."
"But I got married a year ago."
Jonathan shrugged. "It just shows you how high on the priority list we are in some kingdoms."
Rapunzel stood up and picked up a few papers in the stack and began looking at them herself. She nodded. "You're right," she said, "All ball invitations. I didn't realize so many people threw balls."
"You wouldn't because I usually ignore most of them and only send you to the best ones," Jonathan said, smirking.
Rapunzel looked up from the papers in her hands and gave a small, amused smile. She began looking through the papers once more. "Oh look. A coronation," she said.
"Really? Whose?" Jonathan asked.
"A uh... Queen Elsa's of Arendelle?" Rapunzel read the invitation.
Jonathan stroked his beard. "Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar. I think the family might be related on your mother's side. Distantly."
Rapunzel continued looking at the invitation. "Where's Arendelle?"
"North. Way up north," Jonathan replied, "Small kingdom up in the mountains. You have to take a boat to get there. Far easier than attempting to get there by carriage."
Rapunzel finally looked up from the invitation. "Are you going to go?" she asked.
Jonathan sighed. "Well seeing as it's a coronation of a relative, distant or not, I probably should, but I've already got a full schedule," he said, glancing sourly at the other invitations beside him, "Maybe I should send a representative..."
"I could go!" Rapunzel said.
Jonathan looked at her. "You...?" he began.
"Yeah! I could bring Eugene. It could be lots of fun!"
Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Eugene?" he repeated, "Rapunzel, I don't know if you know this, but coronations aren't exactly the liveliest events in the world."
"I know," Rapunzel said, waving away his worries with a flick of her hand, "But it says there's a ball afterwards and Eugene can have fun at that."
"Alright, if you're sure you really want to..." Jonathan said slowly.
"Thank you! I'm going to go tell Eugene!" Rapunzel cried. She kissed his cheek and then skipped out of the room.
Jonathan smiled until he could no longer hear her prancing footsteps. Then he turned back to the stack of papers before him. A letter from Lord What-not, a wedding invitation from Princess What's-she-called...
"Look, Eugene! There it is!"
"Did we really have to travel by boat?"
"Yes, otherwise our carriage might have fallen apart on those huge mountains and then we'd end up walking to Arendelle. Then how unhappy would you be?"
"Anything's better than puking over the edge of the ship the entire time."
"You never even puked once."
"I came close!"
"You never even went to the edge."
"I thought about it."
"You did not."
"I did so!"
"You did not. Now shush! You're spoiling the moment."
Rapunzel leaned over the edge of the ship so she could get a better view of the kingdom. It was small like her father had said, at least smaller than Corona, but it was inviting and pleasant-looking. Several other ships were pulling into the docks as well and she could see people flocking in towards the castle which sat at the center of the town.
"Eugene!" Rapunzel cried, "We're going to meet so many foreigners!"
"You've met foreigners before," he pointed out.
"I know, but they're all going to be here, together, in one place!"
Eugene raised an eyebrow. "What difference does that make?"
"Because we can see them all together!" Rapunzel cried, "For comparisons!"
Eugene was still staring at her blankly. Rapunzel shook her head. If he didn't understand why this should be interesting, there was no use explaining it to him.
The ship finally docked and Rapunzel and Eugene headed for the ramp. "Now you behave yourself," Rapunzel warned.
"Me? When don't I?" Eugene asked, raising his arms.
Rapunzel tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I'm thinking of our engagement ball and a certain food fight. Do you happen to remember that?"
"Now what would a young, charming, devilishly handsome young man know about food fights?"
"I don't know. Why don't you go find one and ask him?"
Eugene's face dropped. "Rapunzel..."
Rapunzel smirked. "Okay, I'm sorry. But really, we're visiting royalty. We need to give a good impression."
Eugene fixed the Corona crest pinned to his sash. "Can do," he said, grinning.
They stepped off the ship and onto the docks. They were completely surrounded by nobles and dignitaries, some foreign, some not. But all of them were dressed up in their finest for the coronation.
"Look at these over-stuffed peacocks," Eugene muttered to Rapunzel.
"Eugene," Rapunzel reprimanded him.
"No, but seriously. Look at that guy over there. "Excuse me, do you think you'll be able to see my sleeves from the next country? My tailor said yes, but I'm not so sure. I might have to make them puffier.""
""Oh, pardon me, sir. I did not mean to stifle you with my excessive perfume! Perhaps my skirt made from a circus tent will distract you!""
"Eugene, if anyone hears..." Although she was beginning to giggle.
""Oh! I'm not sure if my wig is big enough! Perhaps I should go to that guy's tailor and see if he will be able to put more puff in it!""
Rapunzel was doing her best to stifle her giggling. ""Excuse me, young lady! I did not mean to knock you over with my over-stuffed breeches!"" she had her input, gesturing to a man nearby.
Rapunzel and Eugene both laughed as they headed towards the castle with the other dignitaries.
Rapunzel and Eugene sat in the very back corner of the chapel for the coronation ceremony. And Eugene was bored stiff. This was worse than church. The only sound in the room was a choir chanting some foreign language above them. The queen- or almost queen, whatever she was- wasn't even present for the longest time. Just the bishop standing at the front. What even was going on?
Eugene glanced around at the other people in the room. Most people were holding it together like Rapunzel was at his side (how did she do it?). But then he saw one man near the front who seemed to have fallen asleep against someone's shoulder, mouth hanging open and a stream of drool dripping out onto the other man's coat sleeve. Gross. Eugene wondered if the two men knew each other. Probably not because if he had someone drooling on him and he knew the person, he would get that person off him right away.
He glanced away from the drooler and shoulder-drool-guy and began looking around the room again. There was nothing remotely interesting to look at, not even a painting or anything.
A fly suddenly landed on his sleeve and he swatted it away. He watched it as it flew away and went and landed on the man's shoulder in front of him. It took a moment before the man noticed and swatted it away as well.
Flies are more stealthy than people give them credit for. Eugene thought.
The fly landed on another noble's sleeve. And the next victim does not even realize that I am here. I slowly creep up its colorful appendage. Why do these strange creatures only have four anyways? But I creep along anyways. Closer, closer to my target and... The noble swatted it away. Aaahhh! No! So close! On to find my next victim!
The fly flew around the room. Loop-de-loop-de-loop-de-loop. Aaaaand... land. It landed on a woman's shoulder. Ah-ha! Perfect! I shall not make the same mistake as I did last time. I am not on an appendage as before. The victim will never know I am here! Ha ha! So I shall just... The woman swatted at it. Nooo! Alright onto the next!
How come my victims are always aware of my presence so soon? Perhaps it is the buzzing? I have spoken to my superiors about the buzzing before, but they think it is outrageous. How could victims so large and ridiculously colorful with only four appendages be alerted by mere buzzing. So the mystery remains just that. A mystery.
The fly finally landed in a man's particularly large, curly mass of hair. Aahh! What is this? I have gone off course! Where am I? A forest? A forest of the devil's snares! I am lost! God send help! I am dying! I cannot escape! Help! Help! Hel... Oh.
The fly emerged. Huzzah! I am free! Now onto my next victim! Who shall it be? Perhaps after a few more loop-de-loops I can...
"Eugene. Stand," Rapunzel muttered.
Eugene suddenly realized that everyone was standing up around him. He quickly took his eyes off the fly and stood up as well. He saw the queen standing at the front holding a scepter and an orb while the bishop was chanting some strange words.
"...Queen Elsa of Arendelle," the bishop finished.
"Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" everyone repeated.
"Look, Eugene! A chocolate fountain! Have you ever seen anything like it before?"
Rapunzel pulled Eugene along the refreshments table by the hand, marveling at each concoction in turn. Eugene had to admit, there were some pretty extravagant dishes. There was a giant flower entirely sculpted out of chocolate.
"And chocolate-covered strawberries! And chocolate truffles! And chocolate pudding! And chocolate cake! And chocolate ice cream..."
"Is there anything here that isn't chocolate?" Eugene wondered.
"Yeah! I saw a pot of soup over there," Rapunzel said, pointing.
Eugene approached the pot and looked inside. He turned back to Rapunzel, eyebrows raised. "That's chocolate fondue," he said dryly.
"Hmm. Maybe this is just the chocolate table," Rapunzel said thoughtfully, "I thought I saw more tables on the other side of the room."
"I hope so. Because I'm hungry and while chocolate's good, too much can ruin one's physique," Eugene said, resting his hands on his hips and puffing out his chest slightly.
Rapunzel smirked. "Hmm, yes. We wouldn't want that now, would we?" she said.
"What ever would you do with a fat husband?"
Rapunzel stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "I'd still love you anyway," she replied, "I love you for all your other faults already, don't I?"
Eugene was grinning. "What faults? I thought you married the perfect man?"
Rapunzel just smiled. "Come on, let's see if there's another table."
A they made their way across the ballroom, around nobles and dignitaries of all shapes and sizes, they were eventually stopped by one short, round, mustachioed man who reminded Eugene greatly of a tomato. Red hair, red clothes, red face. The rims of his glasses were even red!
He bowed deeply to Rapunzel. "Forgive me," he said, "But do I have the honor of addressing the princess of Corona?"
Rapunzel smiled and curtsied herself. "Indeed," she said formally.
Tomato-man gave a toothy grin. Eugene was surprised his teeth weren't red too. "It is a pleasure- no! It is a privilege to meet you, your highness. I am Lord Peterson of Laconia."
"Pleasure," Rapunzel said, nodding.
There was something about this guy that irked Eugene and he instinctively wanted to take Rapunzel away from the scene. But he held his ground and let them carry on.
"Did you know that you can see some of your yearly lanterns from our fair kingdom?"
"They really are quite remarkable."
"I have always had such a fascination with them and the remarkable princess tied to them and have always promised myself that one day I would meet that princess."
"I am flattered."
"Stories of your beauty have stretched far and wide, and I may I be so bold to say that none of it has been exaggerated in the least."
Eugene just watched them, still unsure of what to do. Lord Tomato-man finally noticed him staring. "May we help you with something, sir?" he asked.
Eugene frowned. "No. I just..."
Rapunzel put a hand on his shoulder. "Lord Peterson, may I introduce my husband, Eugene Fitzherbert."
Lord Tomato-man gawked at Eugene. "Your husband?" he repeated.
"Yes," Rapunzel said.
"I was not aware your highness was married."
Believe it, pal. Eugene put an arm around Rapunzel's waist. Probably not entirely appropriate, but the protectiveness that had been roaring from within ever since Tomato-man had popped up finally took over. "Well, as you can see..." Rapunzel replied.
Lord Tomato-man gave a slight bow. "It was a pleasure to meet you, princess," he said, "But if you'll excuse me, I have something to attend to."
With that he turned on his bright red heel and disappeared into the crowd. As soon as he was gone, Eugene felt Rapunzel shudder beneath his grip. "He was a creep," she said.
"Oh good. I thought it was just me," Eugene said.
Rapunzel wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "Thank you," she said.
"For what?" he asked.
"For being my husband."
Rapunzel smiled up at him. "Now let's go find that refreshments table."
They did find it and it was covered in an array of all sorts of delicacies. They each took their share of food and met up at the end of the table to order drinks.
"Just some punch, please," Rapunzel told the man.
"Lemonade, blackberry, raspberry, grape, or strawberry?"
"Oh, uhhh... raspberry? I guess."
The man pulled out a glass and poured some dark pink liquid into it then handed it to her. "Thank you," she said, then moved aside.
Eugene ordered his drink. Rapunzel didn't hear what it was, but she knew it wasn't punch. He approached, holding a glass full of dark liquid. "What did you get?" she asked suspiciously.
"Don't worry, it's just wine," he said coolly.
"Wine? Really?" Rapunzel asked, surprised.
"Yeah, supposedly the wine's really good here. At least that's what the pushy duchess or whatever she was, was saying behind me. Then after raving about it through the whole line, she insisted that I probably couldn't handle it."
"So of course you had to get it then," Rapunzel said, rolling her eyes.
"Of course! I couldn't let her get away with that."
Rapunzel shook her head, laughing slightly. "Well go ahead then. Give it a try."
Eugene raised his eyebrows, then he slowly raised the cup to his lips. Rapunzel watched him expectantly. He took a breath and then finally took a sip. Immediately he began to sputter and cough violently. "Holy- mother!" He sputtered some more. "That is RANCID!"
"Tried the wine, huh?"
They both turned to find a young man with red hair and wearing a white suit standing behind them, holding a glass of champagne.
"Yeah," Rapunzel said, gesturing to Eugene who was finally recovering from his sip, "Apparently it's rancid."
"Extremely," Eugene said.
"I know it," the young man said, "My kingdom get's its wine imported from the same place Arendelle does. The taste is enough to put you off drinking for life."
"Your kingdom?" Rapunzel asked.
"Oh, I've been so bad with that today. Forgive me," he bowed, "Prince Hans of the Southern Isles."
Rapunzel curtsied. "Princess Rapunzel of Corona and my husband, Eugene Fitzherbert."
The prince smiled. Suddenly trumpets blared and everyone turned. "Queen Elsa of Arendelle!" a page announced.
At the front of the room, the queen entered, with her head held high and her long purple cape flowing out behind her. She stood at the front, smiling out at the crowd.
"Princess Anna of Arendelle!" the page announced, gesturing to the other side of the room.
It took a moment, but the princess finally emerged and hurried to the queen's side. She gave a small wave to the crowd and smiled. Everyone applauded, including Rapunzel and Eugene.
The prince was staring at the front of the room, even though everyone else had gone back to what they were doing. "Excuse me," he said, without taking his eyes off whatever he was looking at, "I have something very important I must see to."
So much had happened in just a few short hours. They arrived in Arendelle, they sat through the coronation as Arendelle got its new queen, they put up with pushy nobles and excessive chocolate at the ball, but the real kicker was when it was revealed that the newly crowned queen had ice powers and froze over the entire kingdom. Then the queen ran away and the princess took off after her, leaving her new fiancee, that prince from the Southern Isles, in charge.
"Ice powers. Really?" Eugene grumbled as he slipped his cloak over his head, "I thought I had seen my share of magic after finding a girl with glowing healing hair in a tower."
"Honestly, Eugene," Rapunzel said, already wearing her own cloak, "Magic is everywhere if you look hard enough."
"But ice powers?" Eugene said again, "You don't see that everywhere."
"And not everybody freezes everything in sight, stranding you in the middle of nowhere."
"This takes "getting the cold shoulder" to a whole other level."
"It's not like they invited us here to intentionally strand us here in the cold."
Eugene ignored her. "That's it. We're going to die here as royal ice-pops."
Rapunzel rolled her eyes. "Stop being so dramatic."
"Goodbye cold, cruel world!"
"We could have gone somewhere warm like Agrabah or something. Lots of sun and sand. But no." He slipped into a terrible impression of his wife, ""We have a duty to go. It'll just be a quick, uneventful visit." Yeah. Uneventful like our first visit to the Snuggly Duckling uneventful."
"Hey, it was your choice to go there! And it wasn't my fault you were a wanted criminal."
"All I'm saying is I'm opting out of the next coronation we're invited to."
"Even if it's on a nice tropical island with warm sandy beaches where they serve those drinks with the little paper umbrellas in them?"
Eugene glanced at her. "Is there such a kingdom?"
"I don't know, but would you?" she asked.
Eugene grumbled to himself. "Well there's no hope of that now. Our ship is stuck in the forked..."
"Unimportant. And we aren't going anywhere until the yard..."
"Whatever. Unfreezes. Which by the look and feel of things, is not going to be any time soon."
"Look, Eugene. I got a blanket!"
"Is it just me, or does it feel like it's getting colder?"
"I think you're just being dramatic again."
"No, really. Look at the sky. You can't even see the sun anymore."
Rapunzel knew he was right, but she was determined to be optimistic. She threw the blanket around both of them and cuddled up against him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
The wind was definitely picking up now too, but Rapunzel wasn't going to say anything because she knew any moment now that Eugene...
"And now with the wind!"
There it was.
"Could this be any worse?" he practically wailed, "I conclude that it cannot."
Rapunzel did not respond to his complaining. She merely said, "Wrap the blanket tighter."
He did so, but did not stop his whining. "We are going to die as popsicles! I told you so!" he continued on, "This is the worst thing to ever happen to me!"
"Really? Because I have a frying pan that could put up a good argument if you don't stop acting like such a big baby."
"Who's acting like a baby? I'm just speaking truth. This could not possibly get any worse!"
"You know that's the ultimate jinx, right?"
Eugene scoffed. "Please. It's already bad enough, I don't think... what is that coming towards us?"
Rapunzel pulled her head out of the blanket to see what he was referring to. An enormous white mass was hurtling towards them at an alarmingly fast rate. A huge cloud of snow, originating from the castle, was just about to hit them straight on.
Rapunzel's eyes widened. "Duck!" she cried.
She ducked underneath the blanket and Eugene did the same. They felt the blizzard hit them full on against their makeshift tent like a shower of needles. The blanket took the worst it, but they still felt the impact of the shards of ice thumping against their backs. Eugene wrapped his arms around Rapunzel, attempting to block as much of the pounding from her as possible.
"We... we need to find shelter!" Rapunzel shouted above the wind.
Eugene agreed and they attempted to stand while still keeping the blanket around themselves. They began to move forward, completely surrounded by white.
"So, still think I'm being dramatic?" Eugene asked.
Rapunzel nudged him as the fought against the wind. "You're the one who jinxed us!" she reminded him.
"I have never been more grateful for the sun in my entire life!" Eugene declared, turning his face towards the sky, "Look at it! It's so bright and beautiful and warm!"
Rapunzel strolled by his side. "Yes it is, isn't it?"
"I'm so glad we got out of that alive!"
"And you didn't turn into a popsicle," Rapunzel said.
"I almost did!" Eugene replied, "Remember how our blanket looked by the time we got to that house? Frozen solid. That could have been us!"
Rapunzel just smiled and linked her arm through his. "Come on, our ship's leaving soon. You don't want to be stuck here again, do you?"
"Ha! No thank you! Where's that ship?"
They headed for the docks. Other dignitaries and nobles were also piling onto their own ships, now that summer had returned and the fjord was thawed. Everyone was rather anxious to leave after the little misadventure with the endless winter set off by the queen. However, it turned out she could also thaw her winter, and once she collected herself and returned, that's just what she did.
As Rapunzel and Eugene came up to the docks, they saw a couple of Arendelle guards dragging the Southern Isles prince onto one of the ships. Right. Also, that guy had committed treason by attempting to kill the queen and the princess so he could take over the throne. What a dirt bag.
Eugene was the first to board their ship, Rapunzel following close behind. She came up beside him. "I don't remember you liking the ship this much on our way here," she teased.
"It suddenly has a special appeal about it," Eugene replied, "The salty sea air, the wind blowing in my face. What a day to be out on the water!"
"You won't puke this time?"
"I think my bowels have been frozen into submission."
Rapunzel rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth tweaked. "You're impossible."
Eugene grinned. "And you love me anyway."
Rapunzel smiled back. She grabbed his collar, pulled him down to her level, and pressed her lips against his. He kissed her back, slow and deep. When they finally pulled back, they were both slightly breathless.
"But," Eugene said, "I'm picking our next vacation spot."
The end. Hope you enjoyed!