Thank you all for the reviews, favorites and follows!

Its not often that I truly think anything I write is good, but I really enjoy the way this turned out and had a really fun time writing it :)

Enjoy some Hook versus the world!

Disclaimer: I own nothing


The episode last night was SO SASSY. I loved it, how about you?

I glance down the street.

Don't do it Jones.

Looking at the cold, blank asphalt I close my eyes and sigh in frustration.

I was a naval officer. A navigator. A fearsome pirate who sailed the treacherous seas of many lands.

I was not bloody going to ask for directions.

I growl in frustration.

I could turn right or left from Granny's establishment. Glancing left, dark shadows circle the skies awaiting their chosen victims to cross their paths.

Right it is then.

Fortunately, this shop Emma referred to as a grocer is located on this side of the main street.

What good fortune. This 'shopping' undoubtedly should not be too bothersome.

Entering the shop, I cannot take two steps inside before I am greeted by a young woman with a nametag. "May I help you?"

I would compare this to being offered a treasure map with directions.

Not like asking for directions myself.

Not at all.

I smile at her as she looks me over, and, never one to waste an offered opportunity, I reply.

"If you could be so kind as to point me in the direction of groceries, darling, I would be ever grateful."

"I see," she says slowly as she's eyeing me in disbelief; "Well you've certainly come to the right place."

"Aye," I flash a smile and press on, "now, where would these groceries be found?"

She tears her eyes away from my appendage and narrows them.

I am not sure what I've done to deserve that.

"You're in a grocery store." She says sarcastically.


"Where do you think they are?"

For someone who inquired whether I needed assistance, she wasn't being very helpful.

She sighs in frustration, "I don't know what you're playing at with the pirate…Jack Sparrow or whatever get-up you have going on, but seriously? I don't get paid enough for this."

And she stalks off.

Well that was unhelpful.

And rude.

I look nothing like that drunken fool.

I grunt in displeasure. Back to square one, or rather, square two. I did locate this establishment on my own after all.

At a loss, I pull out the parchment Emma intended to use for her groceries.

She's written down a list.

A bloody list.

Well that would have been helpful knowledge earlier.

I glance at the first item.


Fresh baked goods would require a baker. Would there really be a baker in a grocery shop?

I look around the shop myself when I spot a large sign hanging with the words "BAKERY".

Well, I supposed there is.

How convenient.

After choosing one of the many possibilities of bread (truly, there were an infinite number of them…) I glance to the second item.



Not bloody likely.

With the help of the man behind the 'deli' counter (who was decidedly more helpful and seemed to share my displeasure); we determined that ham would be a suitable replacement for the treacherous item that brig called meat.

Proud of my accomplishments, I continued through the list.

Cheese, milk, tomatoes, pears, oranges…

It was all quite straightforward once you got the hang of it, so, gathering it all in a small basket I found at the front of the store in very little time, I turned to the last item on the list.


What the hell are those?

I had the strangest feeling that I did not want to know.

Luckily, the aisle headers informed me that they would be found in aisle 4.

Walking down the aisle, (while receiving the most incredulous look from one of the other customers), I locate the rose colored package and furrow my brow. This is unlike the other items Emma has written down.

I look down both sides of the aisle quickly, grab one from the shelf and flee.

As I exit the aisle, I find myself once again in front of the young woman from the front of the shop.

And behind her is David.

"Hook?" he says is shock and amusement, "what are you doing here?"

I stare back at him, holding up his daughter's basket of requests with my hook, and the package of tampons in my hand.

Aye, it certainly is as humiliating as it sounds.

"I could ask you the same question, mate." I say hastily as I casually drop the package into the basket.

His eyes follow the movement and I groan internally.

To his credit, he truly does try to keep a straight face and not laugh as openly as he wishes to.

"I got a call at the sheriff's office about a strange man wandering the aisles at the local grocers so I came to check it out."

His smirk tells me everything.

Don't deny it David, you knew.

"Well it's your bloody fault, isn't it?" I snap as I brush past them and make my way to where I have determined (from my many circles of the shop) that people go to pay for their goods.

I know he's following me.

I unload my basket (carefully hiding the offending package under the bread) as I continue my outburst.

"Make sure she doesn't leave Granny's, Hook. Make sure you keep her from going outside, Hook. Well that's what I did! But she's so stubborn that I have to come for her, didn't I? And now I'm here at the bloody grocery shop buying bread, milk and having to see bologna again too soon for my liking and trying to figure out whatever the bloody hell tampons are!"

I heave in a breath and turn back towards him.

"And to top it all off, you're probably here to haul me off to the brig for being a public menace or something equally as charming," I run a hand through my hair remembering Swan's words, "and Emma isn't going to bail me out this time."

He opens his mouth as if to reply, but only shuts it again. With a small smile (but I can see he really, truly, wants to laugh in my face, the bloody arse), he nods and says he'll wait for me outside.

I blink. Not what I expected.

Five minutes and an argument with the man at the payment booth later…(I did not in fact 'rob a bank' for the apparently rather large collection of money I had tucked away in my leathers contrary to popular belief)…I exit the establishment and walk past David.

As he follows me, I call behind me, "The milk will spoil if I do not return these to Emma. You may lock me up after, I will not resist you."

Though nothings to say I won't break out first chance I get.

"Hook, don't be an idiot. As much as I would love to, I'm not going to lock you up."

This gives me pause.

I glance at him beside me.

"That doesn't seem like your style, mate."

He chuckles, "Careful, I could still break out the handcuffs."

I nod silently with a warm smile on my face as we continue down the road.

As we arrive in front of Granny's he stops me.

"Thank you." He laughs again. "I'd never thought I'd be saying that to you."

I didn't doubt that he did.

But then again, I'd never thought he would say those words to me either.

"For what?"

He shrugs and looks anywhere but at me, "For finding her. For bringing her back," he gestures to the bags I carry, "for keeping your word and keeping her safe."

Bloody hell.

Suddenly the cold, blank asphalt beneath my feet becomes exponentially more fascinating.

"Don't mention it, mate." I shrug, "I wasn't doing it for you."

"I know, and so does she."

When I muster the courage to shift my glance, he's already across the street.

I let out a long breath and shake my head with a smile as I head inside and up the stairs to Emma and Henry's room.

I took the stairs two steps at a time.

It wasn't because my heart ached to see the smile on her face when she opened the door.

Or the chance that my hand would brush hers as I passed her a bag of groceries.

Or the sound of her laughter when she asks of my perilous adventure to retrieve them.

None of these reasons.

I clearly didn't want the milk to spoil.


I really hope you liked it!

Please review and let me know what you thought or if you want to fangirl about the episode :)