A/N Hello, all, and welcome to my wonderful mockery of Sonic '06! It goes by many names, Sonic '06, Sonic Next Gen, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, the worst Sonic game ever to be created... By the way, I personally, loved this game, but I also love poking fun at games and criticizing them to death, so here we are! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Sonic Underground and their music, any of these characters, Soleanna, the game plot, etc.
It was Soleanna's greatest (and only) celebration. All the townspeople were crowded along the sides of the river. There was a boat floating along, it had a teenage girl on it waving like the diva she was. She had gotten a haircut that she had gotten from a butcher store, and some of the feathers got stuck in her red hair. To make it seem more natural, she had put other various decorations in it. Although this made her seem like a strange Christmas ornament, no one commented. She was wearing a white dress that barely covered her. She had on high heels.
The boat slowed to a stop as it reached the altar. It was large, and had an engraving of an eagle on it. No one knew what this eagle was for. The girl stepped off the boat, went up the stairs, and was handed a torch. This torch had magical properties that made people hallucinate, so the moment that the teen looked into it, she saw the city being consumed by a fire produced by a comically large beast. She began floating up somehow until she was at eye level with this demon, and it looked at her, and roared at her in the face, its fiery spit about to reach her-
"Miss Elise?" one of the concerned priestesses asked, for Elise had been zoning out for over ten minutes.
"It...it's all right," Elise reassured even though she felt nauseated. "We give thanks to the blessed flames. May we always continue to have peace. Sun of Soleanna, guide and watch over us with your eternal light." And she brought the torch to the altar, setting the display on fire. That was pointless, why do we do that every year? the princess wondered as fireworks exploded in the sky, lighting up the night with their majestic glow-
And then everything went to hell.
Bombs that came from the sky suddenly exploded, knocking Elise and everyone else on the platform over. A large man with a bald head, red coat, tight, shiny black pants, and large mustache flew down in a hovercraft.
"Greetings, princess of Soleanna," he greeted while arbitrary menacing music played in the background. "I am Doctor Eggman, as you should know, since I blew up half of the moon with a cannon. Seriously, don't you know me? Anyway, I have come here to kidnap you for my diabolical plan that will most likely fail! Haha!" He took a step forward and pointed at Elise. "However, for my plan to go wrong, I will need the Gems of Eternity-er, the Chaos Emeralds! Now, princess..." He gestured behind him. "This way, please."
Elise slowly shook her head and stepped back as any clichéd damsel in distress would. Suddenly, a green wind swirled up all around, circling the altar. It came to a stop at a ledge, and Elise was surprised, to say the least. A green hedgehog with hair that looked like bats riding a hoverboard! What was this?! Then, a pink blur did the same, stopping next to the green one. A pink hedgehog on a motorbike? Finally, a blue blur - a blue wind, really - circled around, and stopped in front of the other two. This one was (surprise, surprise) a blue hedgehog. They then pulled out musical instruments, introduced themselves as the "Sonic Underground", started playing a bad song apparently called "Society Girl", and-
And then Elise snapped back to reality. There was only a blue one, and she felt Déjà vu. Was that...?
It destroyed all the robots, ran up to Elise, and said, "I'm Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog!" in a rather nasal voice, then picked up the princess bridal style and ran off.
"Waaaaaaah! I'm being kidnapped by a blue porcupine thingy!" Elise yelled as Sonic dodged missiles. "Heeeeelp!"
"Shut up! I'm trying to help you!" Sonic yelled over the wind somehow (Shouldn't traveling at the speed of sound stop sound? Meh), narrowly missing another projectile.
"Unhand me, felon!" Elise cried dramatically. She then pulled a purse out of nowhere and started whacking him with it.
"Gyah! Stop! Do you want to DIE?!" Sonic asked, still running.
Overlooking this scene, a silver hedgehog whos hair looked like a four-leaf clover clenched his fist. "I've finally found him. The Iblis Trigger. Wait, why did I say that?"
A/N So that's the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed! Review? This is my first fanfiction that I've uploaded, so some feedback would be nice. See y'all next time!