It wasn't until later, much later that Gohan realized that he wasn't going home. He wasn't sure how old he was really, time was different in space, it had no meaning. He had only his thoughts and what little Freeza said about earth to bide his time. He wondered if everybody was Ok. He knew that they had to have beat the bad guys, after all if they had wished his dad back, he had no doubt that they would have won, his daddy was the strongest. Whenever he thought that though, he only saw a growing pool of red blood and glassy sightless eyes.

If he was honest, it was all he could see whenever he closed his eyes really. Unless he was unconscious, a state he found himself in more often than not actually. He found that Raditz' views were not uncommon among the crew. In other words, crying was not an option, only an annoyance. When he had first received his collar- given to him after one of Freeza's rages, something about not having enough control over the monkeys- he had cried. It wasn't that long since arriving on the ship and Gohan only could hold his tears back for so long.

What he had received for his tears was enough to make him never cry again.

His tearless eyes now understood, viscerally, the philosophies of his former life. He called it that because he didn't want to relate his current situation in anyway to the dream that was his life on earth. Whenever he got supplements for dinner, whenever he was allowed no sleep for who knows how long, whenever he was punished for simply existing as an lower class creature, he could only do all he could to separate his past from his present.

He had become a low rung trainee, or so he assumed. With all of the 'training sessions' where he supposedly learned how to 'fight' he was left afterward to clean the mess and tend to the equipment. When his tail was crushed, when his arm was nearly detached, when his puke was bloody he still cleaned the mess and tended to the equipment. When he was left unconscious, as was common, he was left until he woke up, or was woken up, to clean the mess and tend the equipment. He was rather numb to it all, he surmised.

Thankfully, he guessed, he had his own little bed chamber to himself. Apparently it belonged to the monkeys on the ship. Gohan was left to assume that that meant that it used to be Raditz's and whomever else had a monkey tail and looked like him. It was small and only received enough supplements to keep him alive and able to train- monkeys don't deserve real food, bitch- and he had a slightly cushioned area to sleep in. He knew that considering his treatment thus far, it was miraculous. He knew that it was only because nobody wanted to use the same rooms as monkeys and they were scared of some 'Vegeta' but Gohan was only thankful.

As far as cleaning himself, he was able to do so after training- well after cleaning. It was an electronic cleansing device, but Gohan was still grateful, it took the blood out of his clothes and the grease out of his hair. As was norm for trainees he wore a black undersuit and white armor. Only those approved for purging were permitted to wear the envied navy blue.

When Gohan had first found out what that particular word, purging, had meant he had vowed to keep his place at the lower rung of trainees. Not that it was that hard, being a Saiyan monkey and a kid. No, he wanted nothing to do with causing others pain and death. He had experienced enough himself to last a million planets. If he wasn't barely surviving himself, he would see if he could help the planets being destroyed, but a quick punch to the abdomen always 'purged' such thoughts from his head. Among other things.

It was an average day, wake up, go to training, prep the room, teacher comes in and directs the sparring matches, class ends, go to back after everyone leaves and tend to immediate dangerous injuries, clean up the mess of blood- teeth and other debris, go to the back and clean everything else, and then head for chambers to eat, sleep, and begin again. It was as he was limping back to his chambers as he always did that he was run into. Expecting the usual attack Gohan had let himself fall to the ground and lay in a fetal position, protecting all he could of himself. Outside the training chamber, fighting back was something to be punished for. Gohan would rather one average set of injuries over the injuries he got when he was feeling a bit more rebellious.

He had laid there until he realized that he wasn't going to be punished. No, as he sat up he looked to see that there was more than one person fleeing down the hallway, like the person who had knocked him over. He looked to where they were running from and he heard a bang followed by an explosion. That made him nervous. As an explosion of that magnitude on a spaceship was indeed something to be concerned about. Seeing as he was not dead yet however, he decided that for now at least, it wouldn't lead to the ship's complete destruction.

That is, he was thinking until he was hit by a stray beam of light. He wasn't the only one, no the people running down the hallway were hit as well, and those still alive and able kept running. Gohan himself was sitting on the ground shocked. Where his left shoulder was, there was a slice running clean through from the outside of his shoulder to about the center of his arm. In shock, the usual pain didn't seem to hit him yet; he numbly realized that the beam must have sautered the wound a bit as it went through- the lack of profuse bleeding made him think this.

As if through a tunnel, he heard high pitched screaming; it was familiar and it sent chills down his spine,

"What do you mean the Ginyu force has not responded since they landed?! It has been more than enough time for them to make it there and back to me with the Dragon Balls!" at this another beam sliced through the hallway, taking down even more runners and slicing through the outside of Gohan's ear. As the pain kicked in, along with a healthy amount of numbing adrenalin, Gohan dreaded what would undoubtedly come next. He had heard about and now would witness a superpowered temper-tantrum. More and more beams shot through the hallway, and form the far off explosions he heard, they weren't the only beams being shot off. He received another slice further down on his same left arm and a deep slice to his lower left cheek and jaw.

"Sire, it is likely that they destroyed the planet, even if they have not returned yet!" A panicked, pleading voice wheedled. The words making Gohan's heart stop.

"We received word anyway that there are more powerful and plentiful Dragon Balls on Namek. I have commanded we set course at once and we are but a few short months away, they will be yours to use as you wish, lord Freeza" The shaking voice wavered slightly, but Gohan could only repeat what he had said earlier in his head, 'destroyed the planet'. His home, where his heart was, destroyed? He told himself that it wasn't true, and like his father had beaten Vegeta he was sure he could take these Ginyu Force people, but there were the doubts. He didn't even know if Daddy had defeated Vegeta and his partner, who were supposedly stronger then Raditz. Then this force was sent, that was stronger than Vegeta?

Gohan felt like he was choking. He felt like his heart was being chipped away at, like it was being squeezed right through his chest, before he knew it as his vision was going blank, a surge of electric gold pumped through him. It was as though he was invincible. And he was mad.

So very mad.

No more putting up with his situation, his everything that he knew to be good was on the destroyed earth, the place where he was Gohan. With that gone who was he even. As his rage grew so did his power. He could feel his wounds sliding away, but all too soon he was interrupted. His collar, the very one bestowed upon him by this new life, was electrocuting him. It was pumping so many vaults through his system he was sure that he wouldn't be able to ever move properly again, his nerves felt as though they were vibrating and tingling and on fire. He heard before he passed out, other lower class lucky enough to receive the collar screaming- one of them sounded really close, but he couldn't be sure that wasn't himself.

After what he was dubbing the incident, things went back to normal. Gohan was roughly awakened, and forced to clean the mess of the hallway that he was in, then allowed back to his chamber as though nothing had happened. Thankfully, he was able to sneak a trip to the regen tanks; with so many needing usage after Freeza's freakout, Gohan was thankful that things were so hectic and it was easy to get authorization- if only for a little while.

As life went on, and the fleet moved ever closer to Namek, Gohan continued on. It wasn't much, but he still told himself that Earth had to be okay. The blind faith keeping his spirit alive, if barely, was seeing him through the days and nights. Gohan noticed that he never slept deeply during the night, and he always woke exhausted and scared, curled in his protective fetal position.

It was as he was cleaning the cleansing area, about to partake in a cleansing himself, that the alarms went off. There was little warning after that. Gohan was only given a brief moment of confusion before the ship- well the ship exploded.

Gohan, thankfully, was passed out, and so missed the part where he became flaming debris. He also missed his crash landing into a busy intersection.

Unfortunately he was the only one.

Fortunately he hit nobody, and nobody was killed, and the only damage done was to those who had crashed in their panic. Go give or take a few frustrated civilians, there was no trouble. There was however much confusion once they looked inside the crater to see a boy with a tail.

"Fucking Meta." Were the first words spoken, before a man wearing ripped jeans and a thin shirt spit into the crater. Striding away angrily, it seemed his actions were not completely approved of by the crowd and no one followed his example; however, there were a few who glared and walked away much the same. Most stuck to their confused expressions, turkey-necking at the scene.

There were a few kind souls who bothered to give concerned looks, and even kinder folks who bothered to call the authorities and enter the crater to check on the child.

No one bothered to stay with the child on his way to the hospital. Nobody thought much further on the subject, after all, loathe as they are to admit it, as of late, things such as this have become a regular occurrence in New York city.

Gohan woke up hurting. It wasn't anything new, but everything else was. He was breathing in new scents, he was hearing new things, and he could feel beneath him what felt suspiciously like a bed and sheets. He could smell chemicals and sickness, he could hear the beeping dripping and whirring of machines, the murmur of conversation. Struggling to open his eyes, he looked around only to see brightness. There was white all around him, and he couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he had died. Struggling to sit up, he could feel himself coming back into himself. His movements were hindered but nothing he wasn't used to.

No he was more concerned with the windows. Windows that looked out into a busy street and a bright blue sky above. Gohan could feel a burning sensation take over his eyes but he didn't take note of it much save for the blurring of his vision. Making his way to the window as if in a trance, Gohan couldn't describe his feelings.

He could remember- blue skies; as he approached the window and he could see more, he noticed traces of greenery. Ignorant to the wild alarm and flatline behind him, he stopped at the window, pressing his hand to it almost hesitantly, reverently. It was actual sky, not the beautiful cold oblivion of space. There were clouds, he was in a natural atmosphere.

So absorbed he didn't notice the rushing footsteps and the many people that entered his room. No he couldn't tear his eyes away from the morning sun. The buildings and their shadows. The freedom.

A dream, but it felt so real. Death, but it felt so alive. No it wasn't until a slender hand gently touched his shoulder, so light it could have been a breeze- it wasn't until he felt that heat he could even bear to tear his eyes away from the beauty in front of him.

"Is it real?" He whispered hoarsely. His eyes meeting the slightly blurred form of a woman in front of him. She was wearing peculiar, revealing clothes, and had long black hair- she was by no means unattractive, and in all ways beautiful in appearance he guessed. He could see in her eyes, sapphire and cautious, ever cautious, looking back at him. She was bending down slightly in order to meet his eyes and be at level with him, but he could only wait for her words.

"It is the one thing I have always known for certain, that is real." She had a kind voice, steady and sure. It caused Gohan to feel less twisted inside, and as he looked back outside, saw how devastatingly real it was, how beautiful, he felt something he had not acknowledged or dared to since the beginning of his stay with Freeza.

Hope.