TheImpossiblyAwesomeWriter is here with a new story, or essentially a collection or stories, with every chapter being a different one-shot. The overall story is rated T, but the chapters themselves will range in rating from K to M. No worries, there will be strong warning if one is an M. Basically, whenever I write a one-shot that's not for a special occasion or has some other reason to be posted as a new fic, it'll be a new chapter of this instead! This way the one-shots don't get buried and my average word count stays up.
This particular one-shot is one chronicling the zany breakup of the Drama Brothers. It's quite funny, if I do say so myself XD. Justin, Trent, Harold, and Cody are all a little OOC here, but it's just for comedic purposes. This chapter's rated T for language and some suggestive stuff.
Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Total Drama or any of its characters. I am not making any profit from this fanfiction.
When the Drama Brothers broke up, no one was surprised. Everyone had loved them for a while, but in the last few months they'd really gone downhill, and now they were almost universally hated. No one expected Justin, Trent, Cody, and Harold to continue making music together until they all shriveled up and died around the age of 27 (because rock stars never seem to live longer than that for some reason). Instead, they longed for the breakup. Eventually, it happened.
The band had only been together for 10 months. They rose to fame with their first single, "Hey Chris", which became a number one hit. From there, they enjoyed massive success and came out with three albums, all of which were highly critically acclaimed. The third album went platinum fifty times.
However, in the last two months before the breakup, tensions had been running high. All four band members were pissed at each other. First there was Justin, who couldn't actually sing or play an instrument, so he did nothing for the actual studio recordings and pretended to twang a guitar for the live shows. This was fine with the other three; as every teenage girl in the world swooned over Justin and without him they wouldn't have been nearly as successful. However, Justin started to feel like he wasn't contributing much, and wanted to help in some way. During recording sessions he would sing random lines such as "I'm so hot!" and "When I look in the mirror I die of hotness." These lyrics marred the band's fourth album, which was much less successful.
This pissed Trent, Cody, and Harold off a lot, but not nearly as much as what he did during their concerts pissed them off. Instead of just pretending to twang his guitar, he actually started twanging his guitar. Considering Justin didn't know what the hell he was doing, it didn't sound very good. Justin did know how to operate an amp, though, so he made his random chords twice as loud as the actual songs the band was playing.
Trent, meanwhile, had gone in a downwards spiral over his number nine obsession. He kept trying to rush all their songs so that they could get to their ninth album, and he insisted that every album have only nine songs instead of the customary thirteen or fourteen. As Trent was the most musically talented of the group, he composed most of the music himself so he got his way with a lot of the stupid 'nine' shit.
The next thing he did was make sure every song had a run time of exactly nine minutes, down to the nanosecond. He refused to release shortened radio edits of their now-nine-minutes-long singles, and a lot of radio stations stopped playing their new songs. Trent still wasn't satisfied, however. In whatever key they were playing in, he would only play the ninth major chord over and over, and he forced Cody, the main lyricist, to write lyrics about nine.
When their song "Sexy Nine, Get in Bed with Me" was released, most people gave up on them then and there. A few loyal fans clung on to their new releases despite what Justin and Trent did, but they'd forgotten that Harold and Cody were still likely to do stupid dumbass stuff as well.
Cody, instead of getting high on illegal drugs like most rockers did, had become addicted to sugar, and he was always getting high on it. The poor bastard was constantly under the influence of it, and it made him as hyper as humanely possible. When Trent wasn't holding him at gunpoint so he'd write lyrics about nine, he wrote lyrics about bouncing off walls and being a pervert. That was his motivation for the much-hated single, "Hyper Sex", which only charted because people would look it up on YouTube just to laugh at how bad it was.
The other Drama Brothers would generally put Cody in a straitjacket whenever they went anywhere in public, as he generally started humping fans and making rude hand gestures at them if the others didn't restrain him. The only time he was allowed out of the straitjacket was during performances, since he was the only one of the four that could play the keyboard. However, when he went hyper from a sugar overdose in the middle of a big concert, things went wrong pretty quickly. First he picked up his keyboard and launched it into the crowd, killing three people and injuring twelve others. Then he jumped off the stage and started going berserk, stealing people's snacks and delivering knock-out punches to anyone who got too close.
From then on, there was no more keyboard at live performances, and Cody was shipped off to a mental asylum. The three remaining Drama Brothers were left to continue without a lyricist or keyboardist, and Harold certainly wasn't helping them continue.
The nerd had deemed Trent and Justin 'idiots', and didn't really want to work with them any longer. He stayed with the band for the time being, but spent most of his efforts on solo projects. His solo projects sucked, but his input with the band sucked even more.
Their fifth album came out. It was nine tracks of Trent playing the same chord over and over again for nine minutes, while singing about nine. Harold would hit a cymbal or snare drum every few minutes, while Justin would insert his narcisstic 'singing' while plucking a random string on his guitar.
The government of Canada considered deporting the three for bring shame on the Canadian name by writing and producing such pieces of shit and marketing them as music. As soon as this was announced, Harold officially quit the Drama Brothers and made shitty music by himself instead of with the other two.
Justin and Trent continued work on their sixth album, but they could no longer tour live as they were booed off the stage every single time. Mid-way through recording, Trent left to join a band with eight members, making them a ninelet. (Is that a word?) However, Trent couldn't stand being in the company of good musicians, so he threw himself off the roof of a nine-story building little more than a week after joining the band.
The former male model, meanwhile, released their sixth album, which had only two songs as they'd only gotten that much done before Trent quit. He then started work on the seventh album the next day, which was basically just a collection of random sentences 'sung' by him, with added guitar twangs. He finished it and released it that day.
Radio stations refused to play any more Drama Brothers, even their old, good hits. The record label fired them, a.k.a. now just Justin, and his producer left him. Justin didn't care. He officially ended the Drama Brothers and went back to his modeling career.
Twenty years later, the Drama brothers had a big reunion concert. The stage lineup was Trent's gravestone, Cody squirming around stage in a straitjacket while cackling, and Justin, who was back to just pretending to play the guitar. Harold was the only one actually doing anything, as he played an off-beat drum solo.
A riot started due to the awfulness of the concert, in which the remaining living members of the Drama Brothers were killed. The world was a better place without them.
Thanks for reading and please review! I'm sorry if I offended any fans of the four Drama Brothers, but I'm not capable of writing sane characters :P. In fact, the Harold in this fic was relatively tame by my standards.
Anyway, this whole fic is part of the efforts of the Total Drama Writers' Forum to combat terrible SYOC fics and make the fandom a better place. Hopefully it helps. The next one-shot will be about Duncan's efforts to escape a man-eating donkey on an abandoned island town. Yeah.