Prompt I saw from Cheethos on Tumblr: "i would love to read a fanfic of regina and emma, where regina is saying cheesy pick up lines, because i've read emma saying pick up lines… i want regina to do so.."
This is my fluffy little SQ drabble fulfilling that prompt request. I wrote it very quickly with no beta, so any mistakes are my fault and mine alone. Enjoy. xx
It started with a coffee cup.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got "fine" written all over you.
Tiny, elegant scroll decorated the side of the to-go cup currently sitting on top of Emma Swan's desk. Casting a suspicious glance around the empty station, she picked up the steaming cup and hesitantly sniffed the liquid burning inside.
Well.. it smelled harmless enough. And it was definitely fresh, if the scalding warmth seeping into her palms was any indication. Taking a cautious sip, her eyes widened in surprise.
Coffee. Not just coffee, but coffee made to her exact, eccentric specifications, right down to the contradicting dash of cinnamon and nutmeg swirled together with caramel syrup, hazelnut brew, and a dash of 2% milk.
Taking another hearty sip, Emma smiled to herself and settled in comfortably at her desk.
Two days later, she received another anonymous note. After retrieving her mail, Emma sorted the envelopes into piles – one pile for Mary Margaret and David, one for her – and stopped suddenly.
Addressed to Miss Emma Swan was a standard Welcome to Storybrooke! postcard with no return address and no signature. The back of the card contained only two sentences: Were you born in space? Because your ass is out of this world. Emma laughed out loud and contemplatively traced one finger over the elegant script. There was something oddly familiar about the handwriting – although she couldn't place from where, she was sure she'd seen it before.
Folding the postcard in half, Emma tucked it into her pocket for safekeeping and finished organizing the rest of the mail into piles.
The notes continued to pop up in unexpected places over the next week, and Emma found herself waking up each morning looking forward to the next message.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put "U" and "I" together was slipped into the glove compartment of her car inside a bag of dry cereal – Alphabits, to be precise. Except only two letters filled the plastic baggie, Emma noted as she happily munched on her unexpected snack. U and I.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I scraped my knee falling for you showed up on her driver's side window, held in place with several flesh-colored band-aids.
I'm no photographer but I can picture us together was scrawled onto a water bottled and thrown into her gym bag during one of her afternoon workouts.
Emma interrogated everyone she thought might be behind the cheesy notes serving to brighten her otherwise mundane life. Since defeating Pan and returning from Neverland with Henry safely in tow, things had gotten almost blissfully dull in Storybrooke. She and Regina worked out a kind of co-parenting schedule with astonishing ease, even incorporating visits from Neal one weekend a month.
Neal's reluctance to move on from his ancient relationship with Emma made him her initial number one suspect. When he admitted he wasn't the one leaving her the notes, she exhaled an embarrassingly obvious sigh of relief, patted him gently on the shoulder, and wished him a good day.
Second on her list was Hook, who continued to pursue her day in and day out in an irritating amalgamation of old leather and overdone sexual innuendos. He also claimed not to be behind the anonymous messages. After whispering yet another lewd comment laden with phallic symbolism, Hook found himself flat on his back in the middle of the sidewalk with Emma's boot hovering dangerously close to his sensitive, masculine region. Taking note of Emma's warning glare and suspended boot, Hook hurriedly apologized and scurried away, no doubt heading for the safety of his ship.
Emma even went as far as asking Snow if she had any idea who was responsible for the notes, cringing as she thought about the possibility of her mother attempting to cheer her up in a sweet, albeit twisted, manner. Thankfully, Snow denied having any involvement but her eyes sparkled with excitement and she made Emma promise to tell her as soon as she discovered the source of her secret messages.
"I mean, I just don't get it!" Emma exclaimed, shoveling food in her mouth with surprising grace despite the animalistic way she was eating. "I thought for sure it was Neal or Hook – don't get me wrong, I'm thankful it's not either of them because, ugh, seriously – but now I have no idea who it could be."
Regina hummed noncommittally as she spooned another generous helping onto Emma's plate and refilled their cider glasses with more of the delicious, amber-colored beverage.
"And the weird thing is – don't ever repeat this to Mary Margaret because god, can you imagine? – but I actually kind of look forward getting the notes now. Is that super pathetic, or what? For all I know, they could be coming from, I don't know, Leroy or something, but they're sweet, in a supremely cheesy way."
"Perhaps you need to think more outside the box, dear," Regina suggested before taking a deep sip of her cider. "Expand your horizons."
"What – you mean like actually consider going on a date with Leroy?" Emma asked, frowning and wrinkling her nose.
"Certainly not," Regina said. "I just meant that perhaps you should think beyond your usual suitors. Clearly Neal and the pirate have no issues with making their deluded affections for you public knowledge. This individual is obviously much more reserved. Perhaps she's concerned you don't feel the same way."
Emma's eyes narrowed and she paused her savage food consumption to study the regal woman sitting to her left.
"She?" Emma asked, green eyes blazing with intense curiosity.
"She what?" Regina repeated, carefully looking up to meet Emma's stare.
"You said, 'Perhaps she's concerned' that I don't feel the same way."
"No I didn't," Regina immediately responded, averting her gaze and draining the rest of her glass before refilling it at once.
"Okay," Emma answered charily, watching Regina for another long moment before diverting her attention back to her food. "So, Neal is taking Henry to his soccer game tomorrow; what do you say you and I drive there together?"
The next morning, Regina woke to the sound of incessant pounding on her front door. Drawing her silk robe tight around her lithe body, she pulled the door open to reveal Emma Swan standing before her, holding a to-go coffee cup.
"Emma?" she asked, confusion lacing her voice as she squinted against the early morning sun. "What are you doing here so early? Henry's soccer game isn't for another six hours."
"Returning the favor," Emma said, smiling and extending the coffee cup toward Regina. Taking the heated styrofoam in her hand, Regina noticed something written in hastily scrawled print on the side of the cup.
"'You must be a broom because you swept me off my feet.'" Regina read with a wry smile, cocking one eyebrow in amusement.
Leaning forward, Emma surprised Regina by pressing a tender kiss to her warm, inviting lips. "I know it was you," she whispered, tucking a strand of Regina's mussed hair behind one ear to give her time to recover from Emma's unexpected show of affection.
Regina blinked once, twice, slowly regaining her bearings before allowing a hopeful smile to cross her face. "Yeah?" she responded, reaching her free hand out to cup Emma's waist and draw her closer. "Are you disappointed?"
Emma grinned and Regina's breath caught abruptly in her throat at the sight. "I wanted it to be you the whole time," Emma confessed, pressing her body flush against Regina's and enjoying the way they seamlessly fit against one another.
Brushing their lips together once more, Emma pulled Regina inside the house and continued to place a trail of soft kisses along her jaw until she reached her ear. Exhaling lightly, she whispered one final sentence before stripping Regina of her silken robe and allowing her to lead them upstairs: "It's a good thing I have a library card, 'cause baby, I am checking you out."
Feel free to follow me on Tumblr under michaelawaffles, where this ficlet was originally posted. I love chatting with my fellow members of SWEN and discussing all things SQ/OUAT. You may also leave me your own prompt requests via a review/PM on this site or as a message on Tumblr. I will do my best to fulfill any and all requests that come my way. As always, reviews are very much appreciated. Thank you.