I own Nothing... So i had this story for a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggg time, to have Severus be a total BAMF (he is a BAMF but i want him to be more BAMFish) and here it is... i hope you like it cause i love stories where something happens to the characters and they turn into a total bad ass... like cold and AWESOME (i know that strange but whatever) If you know any stories like that TELL ME PLEASE (it could be for any fandom :D) ohhh so here is my story:

p.s i am awful at spelling and grammar so... sorry if there is typos (i'm sure there is) and if anyone is interested in Beta'ing ... TELL ME PLEASE! :)

this will have a cold dark-ish(maybe dark maybe very dark or maybe a little dark... didn't decide on his darkness level) snape in future chapters so BEWARE :0

It's been month since the incident. A memory that has been burned forever in Severus Snape's mind causing unleashed tidal waves of guilt and heart crushing sorrow. A month since he called Lily Evans, the only person in Severus Snape's life who actually loved him beside his mother, a mudblood. A month since he lost the only real friendship he ever knew. A month of repeated unprotected torture from Potter and his marauders. A month he apologized daily and desperately for her forgiveness, on his hands and knees, pathetically begging. He discarded his pride as he sniveled apologies to brilliant green eyes and received a cold silence. A month he cried himself to sleep knowing he lost Lily. Lost her from saying something in a moment of helplessness and humiliation.

A month and Severus Snape sat looking down at his untouched food in the loud dining hall with greasy limp strands of hair hiding his onyx eyes surrounded by deep dark circles. His face was blank mask hiding his inner turmoil, knowing that across the table Lily Evans, a person Severus considered a sister, was falling in love with James Potter, the boy who cause Severus' world to collapse.

At least life couldn't get any worse Severus mused in defeat.

Looking back at this moment Severus Snape could have sneered, oh, such a naive fool he was to believe in such Gryffindor like hope. It could always get worse. Especially for someone like him, a greasy, hook-noise, dark, useless, unworthy, Slytherin git.

He didn't know how worse it would get as the hall got silent. As a lone dirty grey owl, too old and too big, flew into the hall. It wouldn't have been such a strange occurrence if it weren't the timing. Owls were sent in the morning not in the dark of night. But it wasn't the timing that caused the curious eyes, but the destination the owl was heading. The elderly gray owl with one blind eye landed in front of a boy who is known for never receiving any letters.

The hall watched with snooping eyes as the owl landed in front of Severus Snape's untouched dinner.

Severus looked up with concealed confusion as his mother's old owl looked at him expectantly with the one working eye. The owl was his mother's loyal companion. Keen and intellectually advance, the owl never left his frail mother's side.

The owl carried an ominous mood as it offered its one claw almost timidly. The one working eye showing human emotions to the Slytherin who reached out for the letter with cautiousness. The emotion of remorse, sadness, and pity in the owl's eyes made Severus hesitate before opening the ripped sheet.

Before the words could digest in his mind he noticed it was his father's handwriting. His curiosity spiked, his father, he spat the title in disgust, never bother about Severus. The man looked at the boy as the root cause for his pathetic life. He looked in distaste at the scribble, the muggle's illegible handwriting would always be definable.

He skimmed the letter trying to decipher the contents. After finally understanding the words and matching the words with meaning he stopped. Re-reading the simple sentence over again until it was forever burned in his mind with the incident of Lily's brilliant green eyes looking at him with hate.

He looked imploring at the owl. Hoping the wise owl will show the truth. It must have been a lie.

Severus couldn't mistake the tears hidden beneath those observant and intelligent eyes as it flew slowly to his shoulder to offer comfort. He stood silently, the letter limp in his hand feeling as if it was the weight of the world was impaling his bony shoulders.

He shakily stepped away from his seat his Slytherin mask of indifference crumbling. The destruction in the obsidian eyes were evident as the young teen gazed unseeingly at the walls. He bit his bottom harshly trying in vain to stop the trembling, not noticing the bitter taste of copper that filled his mouth. Walking slowly, each step took the force of the universe.

He didn't hear the confused mummers surrounding him. He didn't hear the soft calling of his name from a confused redhead. He shook off the hand on his shoulder as his old friend came into view.

"Severus?" Lily asked, her worry shown in her brilliantly green-eyes.

Seconds ago he would have jumped in happiness at her showing him attention but as he followed her concern gaze looking at the angered and smug Potter he realized then and there he was alone. His onyx eyes shined with betrayal as forced himself past the shocked red head.

He overlooked everyone and everything as he trudged forward, the grey owl perched protectively on the Slytherin's shoulder glared with one eye at the children they passed by. He kept walking solemnly to the teacher's table standing in front of the headmaster whose twinkle in his eyes looked upon the Slytherin with open confusion.

"I have to return home for a month or so. I request to have my schoolwork owl'd to me at my father's estate. My father will send a note later on explaining my absence" He requested in an emotionless monotone.

The headmaster nodded, opening his mouth to respond but closed it (A/N: i know it is unrealistic but it has to be done) as the teen boy with almost painfully looking hunched shoulders walked out of the hall. His elderly companion rubbing its grey head in the boy's greasy limp strands in silent comfort.

The only sign of life in the soulless frame was the hand painfully clutching desperately and painfully onto the crushed sheet. He ignored the calling of his name. He ignored the chatting and gossiping wondering what happened. He ignored the burning amber eyes watching him intensely. He ignored the redhead asking what happened.

He ignored the world as he packed his bag and walked out of the school without a backwards glance.

Allowing the tears to pour out of his eyes and collide with the pouring rain, he was silent. At the school entrance his knees gave out and he collapse to the ground embracing the discomfort the action caused. He welcomed the fiercely hammering rain that drowned out his figure to the school.

Making his tears nothing more than droplets in an ocean of water. He dropped the paper in a puddle while shakily picking himself up and continuing his stumbling steps out the school entrance, stiffly absorbing the ancient owl's ministrations of comfort.

The parchment left behind was quickly becoming a soggy mush of waste as it dissolved in the growing puddle.

The words forever gone, but to the walking shadow drowned in the welcomed storm, those nine words will be forever engrave in his mind.

Your mother is dead. Come back for the funeral.

Next Chapter... we go back home and warning it isnt pretty ... :0 Sorry if this a bad chapter BUT it will get better :)) ... i think