A/N: Rated T for dark themes.
Poem in italics
Regular text regular
Poem credit: Pablo Stanley
Pairing: Well, I had meant it to be Cutters, but really, there are no specific names, so it can technically be any pairing you want it to be.
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
He said yes. He finally said yes. I've been trying to get him for years, and he finally said yes. No rejection, no negative feelings, just positivity running through me. We had gone to the fair, and he smiled through the whole thing, told me that it was a wonderful first date, and he was looking forward to more. He gave me a good night kiss as I dropped him off, and I smiled after him, on Cloud 9. I was so glad that my crush of many years had finally said yes. His bright, bouncy, cheery self. All mine.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Just as he had appeared in my life, he was out. All my happiness, out with window. I was nothing but a shadow now, without him to give me life. Life came crashing down, the sugar high of the pill finally ending. I was left to face the harsh realities today, all alone with nobody at my side. It looks as though my happiness had to end sometime. I wish he was by me, laughing on the couch, being here. If I concentrated hard enough, maybe he would come bursting through the doors again, ready for me to jump in his embrace. That prompted me to look at the dilapidated wooden doors. It has been shut for quite some time, never to let anyone else in. Only him. And he didn't come. He has not opened the doors for a while now, why should today be any different?
Oh I believe in yesterday
I fondly remember yesterday. It had been so far away. I still dreamed of yesterday, still believed. I was a fool for believing, but your own beliefs could carry you anywhere. If you could use the mind of a child, and naïvely believe that everything will have a happy ending, then surely yesterday will become a new reality. As hard as I tried, I couldn't get my own self to call him again. I would do anything to hear his voice, just for a split second. I remember hearing him babble constantly, and how I had taken it for granted. That was yesterday, when all your dreams were a reality.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
Another day on this weathered couch. Where else would I be? I've become ensnared within my own personal hell. Stereotypical demons were flitting around my run down living room, taunting me about yesterday, when everything was okay. The angels that flew around me and him have long since died, to be replaced by these sneering, malevolent demons. They were in my house, in my head. Never to escape. Trapped in my house, in my head. Just like yesterday. Just like me.
There's a shadow hanging over me
Looking up at the cracked, dismal grey ceiling was not comforting in the least. There are no bright colors in here to cheer me up, only these blatant, plain, grey and light grey colors. I believe that the only object in this room of any color would be this couch that I've been upon. It is a dark shade of green, reminding me that I have but dark colors only. He took all of the bright colors with him when he left me. All life went out of those worn down doors, and now only this was left. A sad shrivel of a man, a pathetic excuse of a human being.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
It seemed as though he was here for a day, yet had enough impact on me for an eternity. While the 'only here for a day' part is slightly exaggerated, it did seem as though he was here for a short period of time at the least. If he saw me now, he would regard me with disgust, he would probably not even acknowledge me. I am a firm believer in yesterday . . . oh how I could wish with such passion. I apparently could be ignored with passion as well. If only the universe was not so against me.
Why he had to go, I don't know, he wouldn't say
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday
One day, he just got up and walked straight out of my life. He got in his car and left after a misunderstanding. He has not come back since. I wish I could take back all the nasty things I had told him. Regret is such a strong emotion for me to feel. I would do anything, even if it came to me throwing myself in front of the machinery that contained him, anything to have him close to me just one more time. I long for when I had the easier times with him, when everything was right with the world.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
I can remember our cutesy, cheesy dates, like that one time when him and I went to his favorite pizza place. He shoved pizza in my face, meaning it to be a playful gesture, and I knew that. He had such a gleeful smile on his angelic face that I did not want to spoil it for him. I always went along with whatever the little troublemaker wanted to do, never caring for my opinion. I did whatever he did, and it seemed like we had the perfect love. Why he had to go away, I will still never understand.
Now I need a place to hide away
I need a place with color. I need a place with life. A place where yesterday isn't so far away. I scanned the room over, looking for any kind of portal to my perfect heaven. Nothing has popped into my sight, prompting me to lean back into my couch, staring up at the chipped ceiling again, listening to the whir of the broken fan whirl around. However, out of the corner of my eye, I made out a container of something. Upon closer inspection, I realized this is what I needed.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Popping just a few into my mouth, I swallowed them down, then gradually, swallowed the whole bottle of my portal down. My eyelids became droopy, and my head began to hurt. I closed my eyes and leaned back, knowing this would be the last time I would see the dismal color surrounding me. I waited, and waited. My body began to lose touch with the harshness of reality, and everything became light and airy. I opened my eyes just a slit for the very last time. This would be the last ever time I would see this place. I closed my eyes and leaned back again, a smile upon my face. I had, after all this time, finally found it.
A place where yesterday isn't so far away . . .