As I ran through the trees no real destination in mind.. I thought about my goals-

Introducing young malleable minds into Jashinism and converting Shika to Jashinism. Ah, I can see it now our happily ever after just prancing through the elemental nations and spreading death, destruction, fire and blood all trough the elemental nations. I day dreamed of my future and past until I couldn't hold back the memories. They kept floating around my mind. The first memory is of the time I learned of Jashin-sama, and Jashinism as a whole.

Flashback:

I just turned three years old when my father sat me down. I've never seen him with such a serious gaze before. What was happening?

"Sakura, I think you are now old enough to start learning the way of Jashin. " He stated simply.

I didn't know how to react to that who is this Jashin?. "What is Jashin otou-san? I've heard you and kaa-san say it before.."

Tou-san gave me a long hard look before he started speaking again. His voice hold a tone I couldn't identify. "Jashin-sama is the god of destruction and death. Pain is the way of Jashin. We as his followers are expected to pray and sacrifice in Jashin-sama's name. There is no other god." My eye's widened I could only nod. So Jashin-sama is a god I understand now.

This is why pain always felt so good. Why I couldn't cry when I fell like all the other children, this is why I liked to feel pain.

This was the introduction to Jashinism.

End Flashback

There was also this time some fucking assholes decided to act like dick. The time I got hurt in front of outsiders, because of the outsiders. Those fucking heathens, oh how I hate them. 'You don't hate Shika' inner supplied unnecessarily. 'Shika will learn, he isn't as bad as the others, he just hasn't been properly educated.' I snap back giggling out loud.

Flashback

I was five years old. Having already started my first rituals and trials of pain. I've already started reading and writing as well as some light training too. When my parents took me to the park. They said something about keeping up appearances whatever that meant. I am excited to go, I'm going to meet kids just like me.

Severe dissapointment. That's what happened. The kids were swinging on the swings, singing happy songs, running around and sqeeling in high pitched voices. There was no pain. No hurt. NO abuse. NO FUN!

Until finally:

I settled on playing with the other kids grudgingly.. I laughed out loud when one of the older kids fell over. I couldn't help my laughter when I saw blood on his scabbed knee.

"Hey! It's not funny!" He yelled angry. I was confused. I knew others were different from our family, but I just couldn't understand.

"But you're hurt." I giggled. "Aren't you?"I smiled showing I didn't mean anything wrong.

"That's it." He stormed over and pushed me. I laughed again. That's when he slapped me and I fell on the ground still giggling he started kicking me. I was happy. Finally I made a friend.

Then I realized.. this wasn't a ritual. Why would he hurt me without a ritual? Why would he cause pain without prayers. That's when it hit me. This wasn't a friend. I had to get away. I needed my Kaa-san and Otou-san.

Before I could call for them-"What are you doing? I'm gonna call my dad over." It was a kid around my age. With spiky hair in a ponytail, hands in his pockets. The older boy ran of without another word.

"Troublesome.." the kid in my direction he asked "Are you okay?" He seemed concerned. "I'm okay.. thank you.. I have no idea why he would hurt me like this. " He helped me to my feet. " Yeah, what he did was wrong." He understood?

"I need to find my parent's" I said. He looked a bit disappointed so I added."My name's Sakura. I'll come here again tomorrow. Maybe we could play?" He cheered up a bit.

"Name's Shikamaru. I'll be here tomorrow."

My first friend.

I was so happy I didn't even care if he was a heathen!

End Flashback

At that time I had no Idea he would be my only friend. That night after I told them everything they seemed horrified. My parents forbid me from mentioning Jashin, that's when we started to drift apart. They ordered me to keep silent and never share what I learned at home. Father gave me a book about regular behavior of these Kami worshiping heathens and their morals. I was to abide by this until I was strong enough to show them their place.

I knew I would show my parent's their place when I got strong enough. Did they think Jashin would forgive them for their weakness? 'They're grown ups.. aren't they' I thought pouting ' they have no excuse for weakness.' That was my final decision on the matter.

As I learned more and more about the stupidity around me. These morals and Kami that ruled Konoha I grew resentful towards everyone I met. As well as everyone I knew. I dreamed of meeting my 'scary uncle' and running away from these heathens with him.

I knew I couldn't, because I had a friend. There was only one person I couldn't hate. He had similar beliefs to everyone else sure.. but logic won over those beliefs. That's positive right? So I decided he was curable.

He was a heathen, but he was MY heathen. I would make him redeem himself one day. I will make him feel all the pleasures pain can bring.

Shikamaru is mine.