Chapter 1: ...In the meantime

Important (-ish) notes:
Firstly, my plan was to create a simple crack/parody fic where Naruto and Sasuke beat the crap outta their enemies throughout the whole canon, but now that I think about it, along with help through PMs, I'm beginning to wonder whether it would be better to create an actual plot… (ref: "questions for readers", bottom of the page)
Also, I had a review from 'Tsukiyo69' asking about why Sakura did not act fangirl-ish or anything, I ain't gonna bullshit you… I forgot she was even there.

Writing style notes:
1 – Abilities are in Romaji while the English translation will be in brackets (e.g. Rasengan (Spiralling Sphere)).
2 – Names are surname then first name (e.g. Uzumaki Naruto).
3 – I will also try to use honorifics (e.g. –san), yet don't expect miracles.

This fic notes:
1 – This fic is focused on time-travel.
2 – Naruto and Sasuke most likely WILL be over-powered, although they will try to keep their strength hidden for the time being.
3 – The fic will contain a small amount of swearing, mostly Kurama as of now.
4 – Another thing to know is that this will be mostly happy-go-lucky FF, by that I mean most 'good' people (e.g. Haku) will survive, while most 'bad' people (e.g. Orochimaru) will die, although recommendations on the plot are more than welcome!

'Thoughts' – thoughts (logically) and "Speech"

Dunno if I really have to type this in, so just making sure:
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, nor do I get any sort of payment for writing this stuff.


HARUNO SAKURA, FEW MINUTES AFTER GENIN TEST

As the exhausted pink-haired girl walked home, her thoughts strayed onto her other two teammates, hell – she may be borderline fangirl, but she does have a brain. 'One moment Sasuke-kun and Naruto-baka hate each other, then they start screaming for some reason, and then they start acting like they're brothers who went through a war together…Just what happened to Sasuke-kun?' On her way she met Yamanaka Ino, a girl of average height with blue eyes and long, blonde hair, which was in a high-ponytail with bangs covering the right side of her face. She explained her observation to the girl – they may be rivals for the heart of the same boy, but they were also friends, soon they joined forces as they had the same goal in mind – find out what has happened to 'their' Sasuke-kun.


NARUTO AND SASUKE, 15 MINUTES SINCE DEPARTURE

After finishing planning and saying final goodbyes, both boys began walking towards the Uchiha District. 'Damn, this empty place again...' thought Sasuke, he glanced at Naruto 'maybe…no…but maybe'. He stopped and thought for a few seconds.

"Naruto…you want to come over for a night?" Naruto looked at him strangely before speaking. "You don't mean…you know…" Sasuke stared at him with a raised eyebrow, confused to what Naruto was referring, suddenly his eyes shot wide before he began sputtering "Not that sort of 'over for a night'! I'm straight damn it!" "Yeah, because you look at women sooo often…" answered Naruto sarcastically. Sasuke glared at him, "I had Karin on my team." Naruto chuckled in response "Yeah, and then you stabbed her through her chest." Sasuke simply began muttering something under his breath, he looked at Naruto and asked "So, do you want to come or not? It is lonely around here." Naruto simply nodded with a big grin on his face.


HOKAGE TOWER, 1 HOUR SINCE DEPARTURE

In his office sat Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime (3rd) Hokage who had to take back his position since the death of his successor, Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage. He was a light-skinned man of below-average stature with grey spiked hair and a small goatee. Due to his old age, he obtained more pronounced cheekbones, few wrinkles, a wart near his left nostril, and a few liver-spots. Currently the Hokage was fighting the biggest nemesis of every Kage, which almost none (with the exception of the Yondaime Hokage) of them were able to win against; the nemesis named… paperwork.
The older man sat in his seat, smoking his pipe, hopeful that something will pop up and will allow him to have a break from his great nemesis. Suddenly, his thoughts took on a different path – his successor; he began wondering what the Yondaime would think about the village, about how it treated his own son, and how it spat upon his dying wish – for his son to be seen as a hero, or have a normal childhood at the least. Yet this did not happen, the villagers saw no difference between the Kyūbi and the boy, using him as a scapegoat for all their anger and suffering caused by the mountain-sized fox. His thoughts were interrupted by an appearance of an ANBU member wearing a hawk-like porcelain mask.

"Hokage-sama, I have news regarding Uzumaki Naruto's…uncommon…movement", the Hokage looked around the room at the jōnin members who came to report whether their students passed or not, the message in his eyes clear 'Wait outside'. They quickly left, after which the Hokage nodded at the ANBU, allowing him to speak. "Uzumaki-san has somehow befriended Uchiha Sasuke, he also had created three…unusual…looking clones", upon noticing the Hokage raising his eyebrow, he explained "The clones looked very similar to Uzumaki-san, although with few differences. The first and most different one had red-coloured hair and violet eyes. The second one looked almost…feral; he had red eyes with slit-like pupils, his whisker marks were more defined and his canines were much longer. The third and last one looked most like the boy, yet he also had jaw-length bangs framing either side of his face." Upon noticing the Hokage's face run through a series of emotions – recognition, fear, curiosity – the ANBU member decided to wait for the Sandaime to straighten out his thoughts; the Hokage nodded towards the ANBU, indicating for him to continue speaking, "The first two left the village through the main gates, the first one was moving south-east, if I had to guess, it would be moving towards either Mizu no Kuni (Land of Waves)…or the remains of Uzu no Kuni (Land of Whirlpools)." Upon hearing the second option, the older Hokage began coughing frantically, before calming his breathing, placing his pipe on his desk and nodding for the ANBU member to continue. "The second one was moving north-west; I am unsure where he is going, as there are many countries up north, but I would rule out Amegakure (Village Hidden by Rain) as it is an isolated place, Kusagakure (Village Hidden by Grass) as it does not contain any places of interest; it leaves us Tsuchi no Kuni (Land of Earth) alongside Iwagakure (Village Hidden by Rocks) within it, and Takigakure (Village Hidden by a Waterfall). If I was to guess, I would more likely believe he found something of interest in Tsuchi no Kuni." The Hokage thought about this for a while, nodded in understanding and asked a question that was on his mind.

"What about the third one? The one with the bangs?" he watched the ANBU's eyes as they looked around the room, as if thinking of a good response, before answering, "He…disappeared." The Hokage stared at the masked nin, and asked for an explanation, "Hokage-sama, there is no explanation; the clone simply disappeared, if I had to assume it was some sort of technique, then the only one that I can think of is…the Hiraishin." He watched the Hokage's flabbergasted expression run through a large amount of emotions, and, unusual of ANBU, he felt his curiosity peaked. "I…understand; keep an eye on Sasuke and Naruto, dismissed" said the Hokage, while the ANBU bowed and left.

The jōnin members came back in, ready to give the Hokage a report whether their students passed or not, a smiling (as much as a smile was visible with his mask) Hatake Kakashi coming along with them, which made the half of the room believe it's a miracle, while the other half believed it meant the apocalypse.


OUTSIDE THE HOKAGE TOWER, 2 HOURS SINCE DEPARTURE

The first person to walk out was Kakashi, the rest of jōnin keeping their distance from him, being afraid of what could have happened that made Hatake Kakashi pass his team, along with making him smile. The only person unafraid was Maito Gai, a man with high cheek-bones, thick eyebrows and black hair cut in a bowl style and wearing a green jumpsuit, orange striped leg warmers and the standard Konoha flak jacket.

"Kakashi! I challenge you to an eating contest!" shouted the youthful Gai, expecting the masked jōnin to brush him off again, upon hearing a response of 'sure', Gai began shouting about his rival being hip and not wanting to lose, until his brain caught up with and he began looking at Kakashi with a fish-like expression, along with the rest of the jōnins.


NAMIKAZE MINATO, 3 DAYS SINCE DEPARTURE

In his fairly bright and lively hideout stood Namikaze Minato; still stuck inside a young body with his face set in grim determination, as much as a 12-year old could muster to look – which would actually make most girls of Konoha scream 'kawaii'. Currently he stood inside his study, a room that held a table in the middle with a chocolate bar placed in the center of it, many seals all over the floor, walls and ceiling. The boy walked out of the room, bit his thumb, running a small trail of blood along the seal on his palm and with a shout of "Gyaku Hiraishin No Jutsu" (Reverse Thunder God Technique) he slammed his hand on the floor. Upon the contact with the floor, a range of seals appeared around his palm and…nothing. Walking back into the room, he noticed that the chocolate bar was gone, which meant that the technique partly worked, as the technique had to summon the chocolate bar…somewhere. He then began working on fixing the jutsu to work as it was supposed to do.
Later on, he found out that the chocolate bar appeared inside his stomach, meaning that he was lucky – as he did not try to use the technique on anything bigger.


KURAMA, 2 WEEKS SINCE DEPARTURE

Upon arriving near Takigakure, Kurama began awaiting any Taki-nin to guide him into the village; he knew how to get there, but he wanted to be seen as a mere traveller, not a skilled ninja who would most likely be seen as a hostile that infiltrated the village. He sat down near the waterfall in a meditative pose and began thinking what happened within the last two weeks. Since his departure, he began learning, along with many of his clones, how to use his chakra and killing intent to look much more intimidating, along with trying to make him look less feral so he would not bring so much attention on himself; most of his work has been success, when he met a few bandits on his road, he managed to nearly suffocate them with just using his killing intent, think about adding his chakra and adjusting it to give off an effect of a bloodthirsty crazed murderer – he could most likely kill genins that were never exposed to killing intent by simply staring into their eyes making them feel as if he was the predator, whereas they were his prey that had nowhere to run and have already resigned to their fate. His work on affecting his looks has not gone so good; he was able to make his eyes become blue with leftover bits of red in it, yet his pupils had stayed slitted. Instead, he decided to use black sunglasses along with a black cloth to use as a face mask, an idea which popped up to him after he began thinking about scaring a certain scarecrow. He was brought out of his musing when he felt the cold steel of a ninjatō pressing at the side of his neck, courtesy of one of the four masked Takigakure ninja, 'ANBU, or hunter-nin' he thought while looking at them.

"Who are you, and why are you here?" the masked person asked, while keeping an eye on any sort of movements of the blonde with glasses. "A traveller, I wanted to visit the village, so I decided to wait and have someone escort me in, if that's no problem with you." Answered Kurama, he began standing up until the ninja placed more pressure on the blade and spoke with a deadly tone. "If you move before I allow you to, I will not hesitate to kill you. Now, what's with the glasses and the mask?" Kyūbi was laughing in his mind, yet decided to act polite and answer the question. He closed his eyes and took of his glasses and mask, allowing the masked nins to see his lengthened canines, before he opened his eyes and looked at them with red eyes with slit-like pupils that made the four unconsciously tense their muscles. "My appearance tends to be…disturbing…for people that are seeing me for the first time, are we done?" he spoke before putting his glasses and mask back on. The ninja simply nodded before placing a blindfold on his eyes, 'security measures' they said, and began guiding him towards the village.

Upon arriving in the village, and being searched thoroughly by another group of masked nins for more than half an hour, Kurama began looking around the village intent on finding Fū; after an hour of searching and not finding anything, he decided to ask the locals about her. Upon reaching a woman with short, brown hair and brown eyes, he tried to get information of her whereabouts.

"I'm looking for a girl – her name is Fū if I remember correctly." The woman looked at him with disgust and replied, "Why would you be looking for her out of all people?" Unseen to her Kurama clenched his fist, already feeling the need for the old-style tor…interrogation. He chose to take off his glasses instead, and stared at her with blue eyes with red specks and slitted pupils, making the woman unconsciously tense her muscles; this made Kurama grin under his mask and spoke again, "Why is not your concern. I have asked you to tell me, now I'm demanding you to tell me where she is." When he saw that she seemed to be ready to object, he allowed his eyes to become his natural blood-red colour. He watched as the woman shivered and took a step back in fear, and then spoke in a shaky tone. "Sh-sh-she's usu-usually n-near the t-tree in t-the cen-center of the village." Kurama nodded and placed his glasses back on his face. 'Haven't seen a woman run this quickly before' he thought while looking at where the local was a second ago.

When he reached the center of the village, he saw people looking with disgust at the base of a big tree, where he saw the girl, looking no older than 18; she was around 160cm height, had mint green hair with an orange clip, and orange eyes. She kept waving at people with a large grin on her face, even though people simply glared at her. Kurama walked up to her, making the girl stop smiling, look at Kurama with calculative eyes and take a fighting stance, "What do you want?" she asked. He simply stared at her through the glasses, "I'm here to warn you, there are people that are going to come after people like you, and in your current state, you're no match for them" he spoke; he saw her relax slightly before straightening again "How do you know what I am, and why would yo-" "Can you talk with Nanabi?" he interrupted.
She tensed her muscles, ready to attack for one wrong movement. "What if I can?" she retorted. "Good, you'll need to work together against them, you can recognise them for their black cloaks with red clouds on them" he slowly reached out to her with his fist before speaking again, "I'm not really a person for explanations, but you gotta do what you gotta do to save your siblings, however annoying or weak they may be. Bump my fist." The girl simply stared at him as if he was crazy, but complied nonetheless. To her – nothing happened, yet she heard her 'tenant' talk about feeling like it got hit by thousands of trees. She watched, flabbergasted, as the weird individual began walking away, before telling her one more thing, "Work good with Chōmei, because I and Naruto can't do everything. If you can, try coming to watch the Chūnin exams in Konoha, we may meet again" with a wave he walked off, intent on finding his next sibling and its jinchūriki.


OMAKE: Minato and a pillow

Minato stood inside his study, a room that held a table in the middle with a pillow placed in the center of it. The boy walked out of the room, bit his thumb, running a small trail of blood along the seal on his palm and with a shout of "Gyaku Hiraishin No Jutsu" (Reverse Thunder God Technique) he slammed his hand on the floor. Upon the contact with the floor, a range of seals appeared around his palm and he felt his stomach being filled. He began coughing frantically, while feathers began escaping his mouth. Suddenly he fell over, lifeless, thus, the death of Namikaze Minato was heard by no-one.


OMAKE: Kurama run-away

He slowly reached out to her with his fist before speaking again. "I'm not really a person for explanations, but you gotta do what you gotta do to save your siblings, however annoying or weak they may be. Bump my fist." The girl simply stared at him as if he was crazy before speaking. "Take off your mask, and your glasses." Kurama looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but took them off. His eyebrow began to twitch, as he kept having his fist reached out. "Bump. It. Damn. It." He said through gritted teeth. "You look like you ran away from a mental institute, and you want me to touch you? I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not insane." She said before running away while shouting about 'fox-faced lunatics'.


ANs and explanations:

I do not know Japanese; I may have gotten "Gyaku Hiraishin No Jutsu" as I simply took "Gyaku" from Gyaku Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Reverse Summoning Technique) where Gyaku meant "reverse", if I have gotten it in the context wrong, pointing these things out are appreciated, along with the right translations.

Explanation on Chōmei regaining her memory: As you know, the bijūs gave Naruto some of their chakra which was then contained inside Kurama's seal (the seal may have been opened, but it still exists), meaning that Kurama could easily access it and 'give it back', the chakra basically worked like an imprinted memory of the bijūs.

Kushina: I have not written about Kushina, because it's basically a long walk to Uzu no Kuni, looking through the ruins and finding some scrolls. I also can't imagine what the place looks like...

OMAKES: Yes, I know I suck at humor…


Questions for readers

1. Ref: "Important (-ish) notes" – Should the fic have an actual plot, or should it stay as the crack/parody fic?

2. Ref: Dialogue in story – Should the writing style stay (A) or should it be changed to the one I see often (B)?

A) "whatever" said A, B stared at him before answering, "blah blah"

B) "whatever" said A, B stared at him.
"blah blah" he answered.


Rate and Review! Feel free to ask any question you have through PM or reviews as well.
Constructive criticism is welcome; I'd like to know what I need to improve, but no flames. Thanks!