Dear Nicely Johnson,
Well, I bet you're wondering why I wrote you a letter. You know I don't write a lot. That's why this is really bad. Sorry about that, by the way. Also, we see each other almost every day, so really, whenever there's anything that I want to tell you, I could just tell you in person. But what I'm about to tell you ain't the normal kind of thing that friends talk about face to face. I mean, I could go up to you and say it… but as brave and manly as I am, I don't think I could ever tell you this in person.
It's even hard to write it down, actually. It's just three words. But they're scary words. Three super-scary words that I have to tell you. They ain't that scary when you're telling them to your mother, or your sister, or your doll, but they are scary when you're telling them to your best friend. Because you're a guy, and I'm a guy. And we're friends. So these three words are super, super scary.
Okay, I guess I have to tell you. So, the thing is, Nicely… I love you.
Really. I love you as a friend, but also as a more-than-friend. Like a doll, kind of. Except more. I never really liked dolls much, anyway. I sure went out with a lot, and there were some that I liked, but I never loved any of them like I love you. Dolls are clingy and needy, and they don't do fun things like gamble and talk about guy stuff. Like we do. That's why I don't love you like a doll.
But I do love you in the way that a guy loves a doll. I want to cuddle you and kiss you and always be with you. I love you and I want you to love me too. I want to love you forever until I die, and even longer. I know this ain't normal for a guy to love another guy, but I love you, Nicely, my best friend, and I know it. I ain't never loved anyone else as much as you, and I could never love anyone else that much. You're perfect. I love everything about you, and there's nothing I would ever want you to change.
So really, what I'm trying to say is…
Will you, Nicely Johnson, be my boyfriend?
Dear Benny Southstreet,
Okay, I know that writing someone a letter to someone just to answer a tiny question is a bit weird. And it's even weirder when that someone is currently sitting beside you, trying to read over your shoulder. But, you know, my mama always told me that when someone writes you a letter, you had better write them one back.
So, I got your letter. I can't believe that you actually love me... because I love you too. I will be your boyfriend.
Um, I guess I don't really need to say anything else, since you're still sitting beside me.